Be Politically Correct or Be honest?
It’s not a toss-up for most people. Most people don’t even give it a second thought. When it comes to being politically correct or being honest, hands down they choose to be politically correct.
Is it because it is the easy thing to do? Or, perhaps the most comfortable?
As a society, I think the lack of honesty isn’t helping us but rather hurting us. It’s this politically correct culture that has made us off-kilter, off-balance and continues to help spiral us down. We are loosing touch with reality. People can’t handle honesty anymore!
I’ve discussed it with a few friends and inevitably I get resistance. You can’t be honest! How can you do it? You don’t want to hurt feelings. That’s the biggest reason people are politically correct: They don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings which inevitably they do when people see through them. Second, they fear that being honest will cause people to judge them. Most people don’t admit it but insecurity is another big factor.
Yet in an odd twist, you can balance the world of tact with honesty — and still be respected and not thought of as crazy. It’s not hard to do. Really!
I don’t place a high value on friendships that live in the politically correct world because I know when it comes down to it — and I really need to be told the truth — they’ll wince. To me a good friend will tell me like it is, if they truly care.
Just sadly, as a society we have thrown the truth out of the door, and people have forgotten how easy it is to be honest and yet tactful. It’s really a fine line…
So, here you go. How to be honest instead of politically correct.
Jane to Jennifer: Does my butt look good in these jeans?
Acceptable and honest answers from Jennifer when Jane’s butt does look big:
— Those are really cute pants but they aren’t the most flattering on you.
— I think you looked better in these. These are my favorite on you!
— You see how this is cut, it would make anyone look unflattering. How can they make such pants?
Bob calls Bill on the phone about a party he is having and Bill doesn’t want to go:
Hey Bill! I’m having a party Saturday. I’d love it if you’d come. Can you?
If you don’t like Bill and/or are trying to cool down the friendship or perhaps you have better things to do that day unfortunately, you don’t have to insult Bob. You can say the following which would be tactful yet truthful:
— I’m sorry, Bob. I have plans. (Period — don’t explain yourself!) Thanks for the invite. (This sends a loud message).
–At this time, I won’t be able to attend but thank you for thinking about me. Have fun on Saturday.
Good friend makes a strong comment out of the blue:
Sandra to you:
Those fat kids! Look at them! They are just white trash!
People can say shocking things. Don’t let them sting you. Put in your two cents with your own moral fiber and stand-up.
You:
Oh, I think they are cute kids. How can sweet innocent kids ever be considered white trash?? That’s just wrong. So, what were we saying about yoga?
Give your friend an out to think about what she just said. Don’t put her on the spot. Just tell her what you think — like she told you.
While these are only a few examples, you can see the line between being honest and politically correct — is a fine line. They are not far off from each other — it is just when you are honest instead of politically correct — you earn respect and can be trusted.
It all boils down to not insulting the person, but objectively responding to the behavior or action. You also don’t have to give an explanation or reasoning either. Being honest doesn’t mean divulging your entire belief system, nor does it mean you are being critical or judgmental.
Now isn’t that worth it to be honest?? You certainly don’t have to be brutal, and think: We wouldn’t have to see Jane running around in pants that make her butt look big anymore pretending that she looks good!
If you have a situation where you want to know how to be honest instead of politically correct, ask me! I’ll give you some suggestions.
