How do I spot a liar?

Do I look for typical characteristics such as changes in voice pitch or wandering eyes?

Actually, no—I don’t. From all the analyzing of people I’ve done, I’ve learned one thing: Those clues are not foolproof. While one person may shift his eyes when he lies, another person may shift his eyes when he is telling the truth.

Individuals do have specific traits when they lie, but you can’t identify those until you know someone well. When reading strangers, wandering eyes or a change in voice pitch may be a clue—but they are by no means conclusive proof of anything, so I disregard them. For me, these traits are afterthoughts once I’ve determined the truth.

While I started to read a little bit about detecting liars, I quit after a few short hours of research, for fear that reading what the experts say may actually cloud my abilities. Instead, I mostly rely on my intuition and my gut instincts.

When someone talks, I intently watch the person tell the story. I watch what they say and how they say it. I start to look for inconsistencies.

Does the person’s action match with what he is saying? Most of the time, a liar’s actions will not be consistent—whether it is a fraction-of-a-second smile when they are supposed to be sad or mad—to an instantaneous, fraction-of-a-second nod of the head yes—when they verbally say no. These clues are so quick that most people miss them, but they are so telling.

Be cautious: I’ve seen people misread a deep sigh as the shrugging of shoulders, a polite smile as a smirk, an innocent twitch of the head as a shake no when someone actually said yes! Reading body language is not as simplistic as it appears…

Other times, people do and say things that no one would do in those circumstances. Their behavior is very abnormal, and while that isn’t enough to call a liar, added up with other clues, it paints a broader picture.

To be a good lie detector, however, there is more involved. You need to have a deep understanding of human nature. You must be able to identify the multiple human personalities and be able to hone in on them in seconds. We all fall into one categorization or another. Can you categorize people quickly? That’s what it takes. I know people really well, and that is how I often scare people into assuming that I am psychic, because I can categorize personalities in seconds.

I should really try to identify all the categories of human personalities I have in my head. I think it would take me a few years, as I have an enormous pool identified in my head. I have no idea how many there are, but I do rely heavily on them in my mind’s eye when trying to determine if someone is lying. What I do is take the traits they give off by what they wear, how they look, how they respond, and then I combine that with their actions. Then I take the picture painted in my head, and I match the person I am analyzing (I think it is mostly subconscious) to real people I have known well in the past. By doing this, I have a good sounding board for what actions are normal for this personality type, and I can immediately make some pretty accurate assumptions. (No, I don’t rely on personality profiles done by psychologists).

I have to take whatever a person tells me, but usually they tell me enough. While I am listening to what the person says, I am also analyzing their exterior. Much of this happens subconsciously for me these days. I determine a multitude of things such as: Is the person well-dressed or sloppy? Are they fast-paced? Or, is he a sloth? What is he wearing? Is this person a neat freak? Do they have on expensive clothes? What does their speech tell me? Is it consistent with their appearance? Do they value money? Are they bragging? Are they laid-back, perhaps lazy?

I take whatever they give me, and start calculating. I crunch the data for more inconsistencies—pretty much deep within my brain, because I don’t do it consciously.

And I calculate as they speak, and I revise the equation as needed until I have a concrete answer. It comes quickly, innately, pretty much without thought, although at times, I do some thinking here and there. I think that is my magic dispelled.

Did you find this helpful, or did I make your skin crawl?

P.S. I have an odd brain, I know. Did I ever mention that I have a photographic memory for numbers only? One day, I wrote down over 100 phone numbers in my head that I couldn’t purge. Twenty years later, I still know all my grade school friends’ phone numbers by heart. When I dial a phone number, it takes me weeks to months to forget it, and sometimes I never forget it! I know my social security number, my husband’s social security number and a credit card I use frequently, too. I even know old credit card numbers that are no longer active. Go figure.