Fun Times
Since I’ve learned that I am a deception detection wizard, I have shared it with all of my friends. While I expected a few to disappear into the distance due to insecurities or secrets, and some have retreated — others have stood steadfast by me, excited and thrilled with the knowledge. I know they are my true friends, even if they are a little nervous about my abilities.
In the process, I’ve witness something really sweet. I will be sharing something with a friend (a lunch I cooked, cookies I made, homemade wine, etc) and I will innocently without thinking ask for an opinion. I will say…”When you take a bite, give me your opinion. What do you think? Do you like it? And its okay if you don’t like it. Feel free to tell me what you really think.”
Then as I am innocently waiting for them to try it and give me a response — not even thinking about lies –I see an expressions on their face, like uh-oh. How do I deal with this one? What if I don’t like it? How do I tell her without her seeing right through me?
I can see the person’s mind going, thinking through how to handle the situation. I wish I was prepared for these responses — because if I was — I would have broken the ice. Instead, they were offering an opinion as I was figuring out what was happening before me.
One friend was smart: This friend immediately passed on the goods to another person — and let this other person decide. It was clever, fast thinking and very sweet. This behavior told me that my friend(s) do value me, don’t want to lie even a polite acceptable lie. That was really dear to me! And the second friend who then gave an opinion, in this situation, stopped for a second, and then was open and honest — almost without thought. It was precious.
For me, I much prefer the honest answer — even if you don’t like something. That’s A-O K with me. Next time I know exactly what I need to do so I know you are happy. I hate trying to hit the mark, knowing I missed – yet I hear how lovely things are! I can’t improve then because while I will know you don’t like something — I won’t know why! Remember, I am not psychic.
Better yet, when you give me an honest critique, I might actually agree with you in the end — and learn something myself! I may get a whole new, refreshing perspective. I love to learn 🙂
P.S. Do know when I am casually having fun with friends, the last thing on my radar is if you are telling me a lie. Likely, unless it is a whopper, I won’t really care enough to take note 🙂
