What is it like?
Copyright Ron Almog
I have been asked many times over the years what it like to have an uncanny ability to understand human behavior, spot deception and see the truth.
When I first found out I had this ability and I was asked this question, I truly had no clue how to answer.
What was it like to be me?
I remember thinking what is like to be YOU?
How do you answer that?
There is no easy answer because you can’t be me and I can’t be you.
But having lived with the knowledge I have an unusual ability for years now, I have been able to immerse myself into the mindset of the normal person’s thinking and I now believe I have an idea how to answer the question what it is like to be me.
Imagine living in a brilliantly colorful world–where red glows like a neon stop sign or a candy apple tulip, where blue varies in shade from light sky blue to deep midnight blue in hue. Where daffodils spray fields in yellow and tulips in pink, and glow like an evening sunset.
You get that picture.
Now imagine you meet someone who can only see black and white.
How would you tell them what you see?
How do you define red, pink, blue and all the hues?
Imagine everyone around you only sees black and white with maybe a hint of some color in every fiftieth person you meet.
How would you explain your world to them?
How would you explain how red makes you feel? And that you know instinctively it means “caution” and can also mean romantic love–that our hearts are red–that flesh is red–that it conveys so many messages?
How do you communicate that–that which others can’t see?
Seeing red can be brilliant, and yet it can be alarming and concerning.
When you see color–you know each color definitely conjures up a response for you–it’s stimulus, but for people who only see shades of gray, they don’t react. They see your reactions as foreign, unfamiliar and odd.
How would YOU feel?
Yet you know you are seeing something. How can they not see it? It’s so obvious before your eyes, right?
You come to realize that you perceive a very different world, and react to stimuli much differently than most people.
You understand others, but no one understands you.
You must work to fit into their world.
I feel like I am person who can see full color living in a color-blind world.
For years, I never met a person who understood me or got me.
But that has all changed today. Since I have discovered my differences, I have learned to articulate the different hues and shades I see. I am able to explain it in words so others can get a hint of what I experience. I can share the “colors” I see with others and it has illuminated my world beyond color. It has added so much more light and depth.
And in this process of self-discovery, I have also been blessed with the opportunity to meet several other people who truly see what I see and can share in a similar experience of life. For that I am so very grateful.
www.eyesforlies.com
Bless you. …and bless Mama Eyes for not scolding you about your gift when you were young. It makes me smile to see you spread your wings and soar. You are able to live your passion now. That is what we are all striving for. Please know that there are those of us who trust not only your talent/skill/gift; but, you, the person who has chosen to wield it with compassion. It’s amazing that you ever found out what it is! It’s got a name! It’s been defined. …and it is now something that has proven to be valuable to a lot of people. Thank GOODNESS! 🙂
Thanks for sharing this with us. It is very interesting. Seeing different shades of colors is a very interesting way to explain what it is like to be you. I know that I don’t sense things as well as you do, but I feel overcome, at times, with the things that I sense. Many people thrive on big get-togethers and people around them,constantly. When some people get down, they need more people around them to talk about their problems. For me, I feel the need to get alone and work things out for myself. I usually confide in my husband but not other people. I find that opening up to other people adds to the challenge that I might already be facing.
I am always amazed at other people’s choices of colors and styles. My daughter-in-law, for instance, loves to decorate with red. To her, red is beautiful. I find some shades of red to be an angry color. Orange is my least favorite color, because I see it as an angry color. I would choose softer, more muted shades in these colors. Everyone marches to their own drummer.
I don’t miss any expressions that I see on other people’s faces when I am with people, but I don’t always get the same expressions on a still picture. I have had to teach myself not to take people’s expressions directed at me, or about me, too seriously. I can’t choose to not know the things that I sense, but I can choose to ignore, or not care so much, about people’s opinions concerning me.
Karon, you are an introvert, like me. you described, exactly, the difference in how introverts & extroverts deal with life and derive energy: introverts from being alone, extroverts from being around others. And the only reason we think we’re the minority (we aren’t the minority by much) is because extroverts are “louder” in our world. Most teachers are extroverts and instill in all of us as children that extrovert tendencies are rewarded, while introverts are encouraged and trained to be more like extroverts.
I’ve read scientific articles that suggest extroverts don’t perceive as much information as introverts. I tend towards introversion myself, but I can be an extravert–just not for days on end. A couple and I need down time 🙂
I agree that I am an introvert, and I do better with people, one or two, at a time. Some people can’t understand that, but that is just the way I am. I am drawn to some people, who are extroverts. I do need to be around other people, however. I really do care about other people, and people sense that, as a rule.
HI Eyes, I really relate to what you said about you are responding to the stimulus where maybe someone else might not. It’s a combination of the fact that people interest you and that you have also always paid attention to them, because you couldn’t help it, you simply noticed. That gives you a whole store of information that you’ve processed, consciously and unconsciously and you can make all sorts of connections. I don’t have your ability, but totally get that you are simply constantly perceiving, and mostly likely analyzing as well, which gives you a tremendous advantage. I tend to analyze lots, but without the vast amount of perception you obviously have, if that makes sense. I have a few friends that are kind of like you actually. Maybe not to the same extent. But they are kind of incredibly gifted at understanding a tremendous variety of people, and can detect bullshit, and sense when others are in trouble or fooling themselves before they can etc, and with the same introversion/extroversion switch etc. I have something like 5 such friends, which given how rare they are, seems just too lucky for me.
You are pretty lucky to have 5 friends like that.
What do you do to not become arrogant?
I can imagine that feeling you have an ability that noone else has, could make you arrogant. How do you handle those feelings? or is it something that doesn’t cross your mind?
Thanks for sharing about yourself. it’s pretty interesting.
Arrogance comes from a feeling of superiority. I don’t feel I am superior just because I understand human behavior. I just have a talent, like many other people on this planet.
Thanks for sharing Eyes,
This made me think of an experience a number of years ago that opened my eyes – in a figurative and literal sense.
I’ve just started working full-time 9 to 5 and wasn’t used to sitting in front of a computer screen all day. My eyesight got steadily worse but initially I refused to go for an eye test / get glasses as I perceived it with a bit of a stigma. After 4 years of working in front of a computer every day, I gave in an went for the eye test.
Needless to say, my eyesight wasn’t 20/20 anymore and the optician prescribed glasses. So I went to collect the new glasses a few days later (in as stylish fashion as I could afford).
It was AMAZING! Suddenly things were in focus again. I could read number plates on passing cars; streetlights had a halo of light and weren’t just a blur; I could read what billboards said; and I started noticing all the pretty people all around me. What really struck me though was that I lived in this very same world before, and none of these things got my attention before (except pretty people who were really close 🙂 ).
It is not that I missed it before, I was completely ignorant of things that was beyond my ability to focus on (maybe about 5-10 yards). Beyond this range, the world would go on, and I might see movement and the broad brush of what’s happening, and make the assumption that I understand what is going or ignore it as not relevant – even if out of focus (a case of didn’t know what I didn’t know) – however erroneous this assumption may have been.
I described it to others as ‘life in High Definition’. Suddenly noticing details that you missed before but never noticed that you did. A friend who mentioned that she envies my analytical way of seeing the world, I in turn envy her emotional vibrant way of viewing the world and the interactions it engenders between people. In the same way I envy the way you view the world, but admire you all the more for it!
Leon
Having at one time been someone who needed glasses but didn’t know it, I believe this is also a good way to express the difference to anyone else who’s been through this. I remember seeing for the first time through my new glasses as a kid, and it had never occurred to me that the world was so sharp and detailed at a distance to anyone else. I had no idea that I had no idea.
I have read every thing in this column since I stumbled on it during the Tiger Woods thing about four years ago. I love it, because I have learned a lot. I might be a little better at reading people, but mostly I have become a lot more realistic about my abilities, and that’s important. I still think I am a pretty good judge of character, but not that great at catching individual lies. Anyhow I am glad you decided to start writing! There are a few people I always follow in the comments section also.