Want to be truly happy? Read this…
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Being good at reading and understanding people, one thing that is hard for me is that I see a lot of emotions–many emotions on people’s faces each and every day. These emotions tug at my sleeve endlessly. And the one emotion I see truly see the least is happiness.
Does that surprise you?
It’s actually quite rare to find a person who is completely fulfilled and content with just being who they are. Most people are not happy with their daily lives, schedules and life’s choices. They feel stuck in so many ways. Some people are in bad relationships, have bad jobs, or difficult family lives. And they wear it on their faces.
Open up conversations with strangers and it doesn’t take long for people to let out why they are unhappy. We all seem to know what makes us unhappy.
It’s shocking for me how many times I have asked people who aren’t happy the most important question: What would make you happy? And they don’t have an answer. They seem better versed with “unhappiness” instead of happiness.
Isn’t that interesting?
I can’t tell you how many times I have rambled off to people these questions and got no answers of any substance back: What is your ultimate dream in life? Where would you be if you could be anywhere right now? What would you be doing? What is your dream job? What is your favorite hobby? What do you love to do and excel at? Where do you want to be in 5 years or 10 years? Few people have answers.
I scratch my head at that point and reflect back to them, “How can you find happiness if you don’t even know what will make you happy?”
At that point, I get the standard responses, if I could live on a beach or an island for the rest of my life, or win the lottery, I would be content. But they really wouldn’t be and can’t see it. Any good thing in excess becomes boring, but few people realize this.
Finding and obtaining true happiness takes lots of thought and deep questioning within your soul. You first have to get to know yourself. That’s number one. Then you have to identify what you love, excel at, gain momentum from doing, and do it. Essentially, you have to cultivate your passion until it fills your sails and gives you purpose! Wanting to wake up and do something every day brings incredible joy, fulfillment and contentment.
It takes considerable effort, time, and learning to accomplish, too.
Finding happiness is not an easy process, or one that happens in days, weeks or even months. It can take years. Sure, you’ll have happy moments in between, but they are more fleeting. When you find true, deep happiness, it comes from within and is more powerful and soul-quenchingly satisfying. The feeling comes around much, much more often as no emotion is constant.
You just have to be committed to get to know yourself, learn what ultimately makes you happy, and do what makes you happy as much as you possible can! This often leads to mastery and a fulfiling sense of accomplishment.
You can have true happiness. The only one stopping you from it is YOU, yourself. So look within, not out, for the true key to unlock your happiness, and feel “bliss” frequently. It’s the pot of gold to life.
Here is a great article: The Hat Trick of Happiness
Great Post Eyes.
American society has undermined those three core principles of happiness. Economic stresses, fear mongering and disenfranchisement have made happiness a rare commodity.
With an economy in a constant state of turmoil and real incomes falling for years, it is becoming increasingly difficult for people to assume the risks required to act autonomously. It seems that all new enterprises are the result of investment groups, with names decided by focus groups (‘fresh’ this and ‘true’ that) leaving individuals unable to compete.
Our educational system has been gutted. We now have a system that requires a high level of competition and money, just to earn a degree that might not leave you competent in your desired pursuits.
We are kept in a constant state of fear from ‘terrorists’ that requires us to inhibit our natural instinct to trust others. We are driven to associate with others based on our fears and prejudices. We have become less able to relate based on altruism or compassion.
Politics has become a spectator sport instead of a participation sport. We have lost the sense of control over our lives and futures. People are even willing to support an irrational personality, rather than settle for the same old bad choices. There seems to be no good choices for a better future.
I suppose that we, as individuals, can overcome some of these influences and be happy. But, our sense of relatedness wants us to bring our friends and family along with us and that is not always possible. The attack on our psyches is relentless and many are unable to see through the smokescreen.
So many of the fun things in life have been taken from us. Elementary school kids no longer get adequate time for physical activity. The Arts are a luxury that we cannot afford. Constant testing reinforces societies threat of judgement. Young adults are pressured to get an education without a guaranty of even a decent job. Employers call the shots regarding pay and hours. Television is on a quest to see just how dumb we have become. it’s no wonder that happiness is in such low supply.
Personally, I am hopeful that this can be changed. If it is, it will be done by individuals who rise above the clutter and noise of our current society and bring along friends and family. It probably won’t happen until there is some kind of crisis, forcing people to make choices that they are avoiding today. In the mean time, we all need to search our own souls and be prepared when the chance arises to build a society that will allow us to regain control and enjoy happiness.
This is a really great post, Eyes! 🙂
Some of what you say resonates with me, and some doesn’t. I don’t really have “being happy” as a goal for myself. That may sound pitiful, or depressed…but that’s not how I see it at all. My goals are things like, being a good parent, and trying to have a good relationship with my children and my husband. Trying to be a productive citizen. Reading lots of books. Recovering from an old injury enough so that I can go for light hikes again.
Some of these might make me happy, but they might not. For instance, being a good parent can be a real sacrifice, and it’s often not much fun. It also involves things like thinking about my own past in a way that makes me feel very unhappy, or putting my kids in time-out, which makes them furious at me. Another example: I’m reading a super-long presidential biography right now. In no way does this make me happy: it’s a tough slog, but it also is making me sad about the divisiveness of American politics. But it does further my personal goals to be more educated and well-read. So that part gives me satisfaction, and perhaps some happiness.
I also think that some people are predisposed to be “happy” or “unhappy” and that’s okay with me. But maybe you are talking about people who are angry and miserable and “stuck”, as you say. That’s definitely not good.
I wasn’t talking about people who are angry and miserable. Not at all. To find true happiness is a gift to yourself. I hope you give it consideration.
I certainly will, Eyes. I have profound respect for your point of view! You’ve given me a lot to think about.
I loved this post Eyes!
Great post! When I was in my 20s, I might have answered something like winning the lottery would make me happy (I was pretty poor then!), but the truth is, the older I get the more I think winning millions would ruin my life and make me unhappy. I guess that’s because I know on a practical level what really would make me happy–writing full time and tutoring disadvantaged kids part time as an occupation, and puttering around more with all my hobbies, traveling to foreign places with my husband and family, while having a reasonable amount of income. I guess that’ll mostly be fulfilled when I retire, but I’ve already built considerably toward this goal.
I guess maybe it’s odd…It’s nothing big and grand, but I’d be happy and content doing this until the day I die. 🙂