How do I spot a liar?

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Do I look for typical characteristics such as changes in voice pitch or wandering eyes?

Actually, no—I don’t. From all the analyzing of people I’ve done, I’ve learned one thing: Those clues are not foolproof. While one person may shift his eyes when he lies, another person may shift his eyes when he is telling the truth.

Individuals do have specific traits when they lie, but you can’t identify those until you know someone well. When reading strangers, wandering eyes or a change in voice pitch may be a clue—but they are by no means conclusive proof of anything, so I disregard them. For me, these traits are afterthoughts once I’ve determined the truth.

While I started to read a little bit about detecting liars, I quit after a few short hours of research, for fear that reading what the experts say may actually cloud my abilities. Instead, I mostly rely on my intuition and my gut instincts.

When someone talks, I intently watch the person tell the story. I watch what they say and how they say it. I start to look for inconsistencies.

Does the person’s action match with what he is saying? Most of the time, a liar’s actions will not be consistent—whether it is a fraction-of-a-second smile when they are supposed to be sad or mad—to an instantaneous, fraction-of-a-second nod of the head yes—when they verbally say no. These clues are so quick that most people miss them, but they are so telling.

Be cautious: I’ve seen people misread a deep sigh as the shrugging of shoulders, a polite smile as a smirk, an innocent twitch of the head as a shake no when someone actually said yes! Reading body language is not as simplistic as it appears…

Other times, people do and say things that no one would do in those circumstances. Their behavior is very abnormal, and while that isn’t enough to call a liar, added up with other clues, it paints a broader picture.

To be a good lie detector, however, there is more involved. You need to have a deep understanding of human nature. You must be able to identify the multiple human personalities and be able to hone in on them in seconds. We all fall into one categorization or another. Can you categorize people quickly? That’s what it takes. I know people really well, and that is how I often scare people into assuming that I am psychic, because I can categorize personalities in seconds.

I should really try to identify all the categories of human personalities I have in my head. I think it would take me a few years, as I have an enormous pool identified in my head. I have no idea how many there are, but I do rely heavily on them in my mind’s eye when trying to determine if someone is lying. What I do is take the traits they give off by what they wear, how they look, how they respond, and then I combine that with their actions. Then I take the picture painted in my head, and I match the person I am analyzing (I think it is mostly subconscious) to real people I have known well in the past. By doing this, I have a good sounding board for what actions are normal for this personality type, and I can immediately make some pretty accurate assumptions. (No, I don’t rely on personality profiles done by psychologists).

I have to take whatever a person tells me, but usually they tell me enough. While I am listening to what the person says, I am also analyzing their exterior. Much of this happens subconsciously for me these days. I determine a multitude of things such as: Is the person well-dressed or sloppy? Are they fast-paced? Or, is he a sloth? What is he wearing? Is this person a neat freak? Do they have on expensive clothes? What does their speech tell me? Is it consistent with their appearance? Do they value money? Are they bragging? Are they laid-back, perhaps lazy?

I take whatever they give me, and start calculating. I crunch the data for more inconsistencies—pretty much deep within my brain, because I don’t do it consciously.

And I calculate as they speak, and I revise the equation as needed until I have a concrete answer. It comes quickly, innately, pretty much without thought, although at times, I do some thinking here and there. I think that is my magic dispelled.

Did you find this helpful, or did I make your skin crawl?

P.S. I have an odd brain, I know. Did I ever mention that I have a photographic memory for numbers only? One day, I wrote down over 100 phone numbers in my head that I couldn’t purge. Twenty years later, I still know all my grade school friends’ phone numbers by heart. When I dial a phone number, it takes me weeks to months to forget it, and sometimes I never forget it! I know my social security number, my husband’s social security number and a credit card I use frequently, too. I even know old credit card numbers that are no longer active. Go figure.

Nice to Meet You

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Upon first introduction, my wheels are spinning. I am checking you out, watching you — very closely — to get to know who you are. It isn’t always about what you say, but what you do as well. I’m not judging you in terms of good or bad — rather just trying to identify who you are.

I am unlike most other people you will meet because within a matter of minutes, I am able to tell you all about yourself. I will be able to describe your personality with about an 85% accuracy. I will be able to tell you things you never even talked about. You give me clues when you speak honestly and confidently — or when you lie — where your strengths and weaknesses lie. Without saying a word, you give me your moral code and fiber just by saying a handful of sentences in an individual or group setting. I also don’t have to talk to you to give you my summation. I can just be a bystander to the conversation.

When friends introduce me to other friends, they often freak out that I see so much when I start describing detailed facts about my new introductions.

It’s just who I am. You could blind fold me, and I’d still be doing it.

Eyes-for-Lies Child

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Since I had my epiphany back in October, I have been re-examining my life. Little bits and pieces are now making a lot more sense. I am understanding so much more about myself,like why I am a great negotiator. Suddenly I understand how come I have been able to settle large legal battles without ever going to court, and without having to hire my own attorney. These are the perks!!

In reflecting back to my childhood, I got a really good laugh. My favorite card game? It was Lie. I loved that game and if you were a childhood friend of mine, I can guarantee you played it with me, over and over again.

I didn’t even remember how to play the game upon reflection so I looked it up on the web. I guess it is officially called “Lie Detector”. I never knew that. Here are the instructions if you have interest. I wish I knew who taught me this game.

In any case, my best friend in fourth grade moved away to Pennsylvania, and being that we were good friends, we kept in touch. Low and behold, somehow or another, I got an invitation to fly out to visit them over the summer. The year was 1977. Star Wars was just opening in theaters. I was 9 years old.

One evening during the visit, I managed to convince my hosts, very religious baptists who lived a very strict life by the book, that the perfect game that evening would be Lie. I can only imagine their horror! Back then, of course, I was clueless. Thankfully, they knew I wasn’t a religiously-raised child, and still accepted me, corruption and all.

We sat down at their modern danish-style wood dining room table which was long and large to accommodate their family of five. I explained the game to the my friend’s Dad who was joining us. Her mom was off doing chores. Three of the four walls of the dining room were solid glass, and displayed a stunning wooded view beyond. We were totally secluded. It was pure heaven to me! I loved to travel (even alone at age 9), loved the outdoors and nature, loved my friend and I was going to play Lie. It couldn’t get any better!

Once the game started, nightfall arrived. Since this game came really easy to me and these kids were horrible liars, I actually got a little bored, and it was during this boredum that I realized that the glass walls made for great mirrors.

I could actually see everyone’s hand of cards reflecting in the glass, so when their turn came and they lied, I could call them on their bluff 100% of the time. In the game, when it is your turn, you play your cards face down, and declare what they are as you place them on the deck. You have to go in a sequence. If you don’t have the correct cards, you can lie, or you can draw and pass. If you are caught in lie, you pick up the cards below. The first one to play all his cards is the winner.

Now with my discovery, I didn’t have to read faces anymore!!! I could use the mirror and be absolutely “perfect” at detecting lies. I knew then I was good but now I could be flawless! I was so excited!!!

I sat there, and at first, randomly applying my magic because I didn’t want it to be obvious. Then as the game went on, I applied my magic 100% of the time. My target and hardest to read of course was my friend’s dad. When I started nailing him, 100% of the time, he got wide-eyed. I remember him staring over at me in disbelief. I’m sure he was thinking “What the heck is up with this little nine-year-old kid?” At first, he didn’t know what to think. You could just see pure disbelief. He’d smile and then his smile would drain away from his face. His wheels were spinning.

I had really stumped them all — i n a b i g w a y. So bad, that my friend who wasn’t in on the joke stormed off to bed quitting out of frustration. She was sick of picking up all the cards (who wouldn’t be?). This wasn’t the first time I had won, but it was the first time I was doing it so swiftly.

My friends father was totally baffled. I still remember his face as he stood up after the game ended, and I declared victory again in giddy joy. He started seriously questioning me. He just couldn’t figure me out. He was a well-recognized engineer at a well-known fortune 500 company, and this 9-year-old child totally stumped him (grin, grin).

I remember being all giddy and laughing like a fool. Then as he stared me down in total disbelief, I got serious and tried to claim magical powers, but no one at the table was buying it yet they couldn’t come up with a logical explanation for how I had been so accurate.

I’ll never forget the look on my friend’s dad’s face as long as I live.

I majorly disrupted this evening affair. Mystery was in the air.

With incredible pressure from my girlfriends father (hard puzzled looks, and refusing to accept my magical responses), I finally broke down and confess to my sins. I didn’t want to, but the intrigue was so intense, I felt I had no other option. It was clear answers were required.

If only you could have seen the shock on their faces! Remember, these were strict Christians, whose children were raised with a paddle, and weren’t allowed to talk back. They lived in fear of the paddle, and here I come with my silly game!

I knew no such boundaries as a child. I was allowed to talk back within reason and express myself because my mom believed it taught me to think for myself. Oh boy, did it! How embarrassed she would have been if she were there that night!

I still wonder what the parents must have thought about me at the time. I wasn’t a good influence as I taught their children how to cheat playing an innocent card game called “Lie”.

I can only imagine they were happy to send me back home in a few days — thankful I wasn’t going to influence their soon-approaching adolescent children! They must have felt complete horror though they did laugh at my clever antics! Thankfully. They were good people!

It’s one of my favorite memories from childhood. This family really welcomed me with open arms when I was frequently rejected as an odd child. I will always have a soft-spot in my heart for them.

About Me…

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Scroll down to read ‘My Story’
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I’m a Truth Wizard & one of the real“naturals”
as depicted on “Lie to Me”
(studied by science)

Read about how I spot lies here

Fox’s New Drama based on real life Human Lie Detectors
“Lie to Me”

__________________________________________

My Story

Being able to see lies is a peculiar thing. At first, I had no idea that I was unique. It was something I grew into over time. I slowly realized that what I can see, others cannot. It wasn’t like I had a revelation one day that I was a human lie detector. Nothing could be further from the truth. I didn’t know that I could spot lies. For me, I just very slowly began to see over the years as I grew up that I was exceptionally skilled at reading people.

I’d watch perfect strangers, and tell friends about what I’d see just as matter-of-fact conversation. I enjoyed reading others, and so I would share it. I’d identify falsehoods people would tell, personality traits and attributes without even knowing people–thinking that others would see them, too (here is one story as an example).

I was always surprised that no one else saw what I saw.

My friends would stare back at me in disbelief. They’d either give me eyes of distrust, or they’d tell me I was crazy, over-analyzing everything. Or they’d think I was making it all up, until what I’d say would prove to be true, over and over again, and then friends were either in awe, speechless, or didn’t know how to respond. Some would pester me, question me, and want to know how I could see all these things that they couldn’t. Others would quietly retreat, and not want to discuss it. They’d feel inadequate because they knew they couldn’t see what I could.

Of course, when I was asked how I did it, I didn’t have an answer. I just could. It got to the point that I scared friends with secrets away from me.

People loved to say, “Oh, you must be psychic.” I wasn’t psychic, and I grew tired of people calling me psychic over the years, trying to explain why I could see so much, because I knew that wasn’t it. I knew what I saw was based on concrete, real things, and nothing magical, but I just couldn’t explain it.

At that time, I just rationalized to myself that I understood people more than the average person, that perhaps I was a natural-born psychologist, but there had to be plenty of other people like me who could do the same thing, so I set out on a mission to find them.

For five years, I kept trying to find someone else like me–to no avail. This endless search frustrated me. I couldn’t find anyone who could relate to the “true” me. At times, it was isolating and lonely.

Why was I so different? Why did I understand others more than most people?

It wasn’t until October of 2004 that I finally found a possible explanation for why. I found an article on MSNBC talking about deception detection (truth) wizards. Wizards were people who could detect a lie with incredible accuracy–at least of 80% of the time–whereas the average person can only detect lies between 45-55% of the time. These wizards made up less than 1% of the people tested.

This article stopped me dead in my tracks. I remember my heart racing. I was thinking, could this be it? I had an innate sense that it was. It all added up. It all made sense. But could I see lies, and how good was I?

That day was an epiphany for me, and the beginning of a major paradigm shift for me as well. It was pivotal in understanding “why” I was so different. When I plugged in that I could spot deception, everything that was unexplainable in my life became explainable. What didn’t make sense to me–suddenly made sense. Everything around me started to change, and while I didn’t find out I was a wizard for two more years, I gained confidence that I did, in fact, share the ability.

Prior to reading about this study, I honestly had no idea I was good at deception detection. I never took interest in it, never read about it or studied it. I never made the connection that my skills of understanding people translated into the ability to spot lies. Yes, I spotted lies, but so did everyone else, from time-to-time, so it wasn’t notable for me.

Since finding this article back in October of 2004, I put myself to the test, and continue to do so today. I wanted to find out where on the continuum I stood. I had no idea. I knew I was better than average, but that was all I knew. In 21 months of testing myself, I became shocked at my accuracy level. I was nearly certain I was above 80%.

I was correct. I participated in the study of wizards by Dr. Maureen O’Sullivan at the University of San Francisco in August 2006, and I was identified as a truth wizard. Dr. O’Sullivan actually came out to meet me, and studied how I came to the conclusions I came to. It was fascinating that I was the subject of further deception detection research. Scientists are using Truth Wizards to expand their understanding of how to spot a liar.

I think my strongest skill is my innate ability to understand human behavior, and seeing lies is just a sub-skill of that. When I see a face of a stranger in a photograph or meet a stranger, I get an immediate sense of their personality. I can tell you 20 things about someone just from a photograph, or a brief encounter without words. This is the skill that I think sets me a part and makes me able to discern deception so quickly, and much of that ability, from my attempt to understand it, I suspect occurs in the subconscious of my brain.

When I see a face, my brain immediately remembers, without any thought on my part, the name of someone who resembles this stranger, and I immediately have a framework and baseline understanding of someone without any words exchanged. This is what gives me the edge at understanding people, and spotting lies.

So come along with me as I journey forward in this discovery. I will blog, and explore it more now that I can define it. I will post how I see the world, when I see questionable things, and what I make of it all.

You can help me, too! By leaving a comment, in support or against my postings, you are helping me create a historical record. Your comments show time and date stamps, and your opinion verifies my position so that people can’t accuse me of changing my mind. Leaving an e-mail behind would be nice 🙂 in case we need to verify what people actually said down the road.

My goal is to have a blog that accurately identifies my skills so that I can take this to another level and utilize my skills for the benefit of people and society in a positive and valuable way.

Visit my Website

Disclaimer

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Eyes for Lies in not an educated professional in the science of deception detection. She neither possesses a degree nor has been trained in the science of deception detection. She is a natural talent merely attempting to understand what she does innately.

Eyes for Lies website and blog are not a guide to learn to detect deception. Her intent in writing this website and blog is (a) to foster understanding about how someone with an innate talent comes to her conclusions and (b) to help people see what she sees.

Eyes for Lies, like all wizards, cannot claim to be infallible nor to know a person’s veracity beyond a reasonable doubt. While Eyes for Lies is a deception detection wizard, her statements are based upon evidence. Merely because she does not trust nor believe someone doesn’t mean that person is (a) lying or (b) a liar.

Eyes for Lies takes no responsibility for comments made on this website by visiting readers.

I hereby acknowledge that I have voluntarily chosen to read the Eyes for Lies website or blog, and that it is adequate consideration for the following waiver:

I understand that statements and conclusions made by Eyes for Lies may (a) be incorrect and, (b) if I, the reader, hereby make untrue statements damaging to other people, I may be held liable in a court of law. By reading the Eyes for Lies website or blog, I agree to indemnify and hold harmless Eyes for Lies, its authors, and any person associated with it from all claims arising out of reading this blog or statements made therein.