Blowing Air Out Your Cheeks

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In regards to this guy, and this video, I asked people what they thought about this man’s behavior of blowing air out of his cheeks. Specifically, what did it mean?

People can do this for a variety of reasons and I don’t think there is one correct universal answer, but in this video, I would suspect this guy was very nervous and stressed, and when people are under stress, they “blow off steam” so-to-speak, but in reality, it is blowing off “stress”.

For me, in this snapshot, he is locking in the air, if even for a second. Notice the bulge in his upper lip area? He tightens the ends of his lips. It’s almost like we forget to breath, for an instant. When people are relieved and do this, they often don’t lock in the air. They just blow it all out. It’s a slight variation, if you can picture it.

It’s a classic sign of stress.

Susan Boyle: The Study of Expressions

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Last night, my mom showed me this clip of Susan Boyle from a show called “Britain’s Got Talent”, the equivalent to American Idol. She told me I just had to see Boyle sing, and expected me to be blown away by the experience.

But what blew me away and what was so much fun for me were all the reactions of people watching Boyle as caught by the camera crew. I saw a heap of body language and emotions. Simon Cowell had me laughing with his incredible eyebrow raise, but there is just so much more in this video. I could probably write an incredibly long post sharing all that I see.

So give it a watch and see what expressions and emotions you see. The faces and reactions in this video tell us heaps. You feel a wealth of emotions, and you can even pick up on peoples’ thoughts by their expressions in this video when you watch it, without ever having to consciously think about it. How does that happen? Could it be mirror neurons (thanks, Mary, for introducing them to me)?

This video is truly a special moment on so many levels. I just love watching it and I want to say a big Wow to Susan! You are amazing!! Way to go! You give me chills (in a lovely way), and you bring tears to my eyes….

I, too, have a dream…

Trying to Fake Me Out

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Naturally, you can guess, when people know I am a lie detector, one thing they do is try to fake me out with a lie, jokingly, to see if I will catch it, and my husband is no exception.

Yesterday, I was out and about with a friend, and when I came home, I asked my hubby if he sat outside and relaxed. Before I left, I told him it would do him wonders if he did, so I was hoping, when I came back, that he did just that. He needed some fresh air (after painting my office, of course!).

Read moreHe was standing over a huge, delicious pan of lasagna when I asked him, “Did you take some time to relax today?” He was looking down, trying to cut a piece and serve it.

He said very seriously, “No, I didn’t.”

His face was as still as a piece of wall art. I was in the dark for a second. Then he said “No, I didn’t” again, and in an instant, something caused the lower portion of the center of his left eyebrow to twitch in a flash.

“Ah!,” I said as I grabbed my plate of lasagna from him. “You did sit out. I am so glad to know that. Do you know your eyebrow just twitched and gave you away?”

My husband look up at me, grinned and looked left and then right and said, “It did?”

I smiled and sat down at the table to share Sunday dinner. “That was amazing,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one before.”

Unless my husband happened to get an involuntary body twitch at the exact precise moment of his lie, there was no other explanation for him to show a sign of tension like that. I think he was working so hard to prevent himself from making any smirks or smiles that his face was so tense, it hiccuped.

So, while I couldn’t be 100% certain it was a lie by his twitch only, the odds were quite high that it was, and when I told him it was and he smiled, I knew for sure that I had called it right on the money.

The odds were low that he experienced an involuntary twitch at that precise moment, and more than that, they were low because the twitch didn’t repeat itself–which is common for the average twitch we all experience, without reason, from time-to-time.

I am so grateful my husband thinks that my abilities are something to poke fun at, and he is very playful about it. That is a big blessing!

A Study of Honesty: Captain Sullenberger

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Last night, CBS 60 Minutes’ Katie Couric interviewed the hero pilot, Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, of Flight 1549 which crashed into the Hudson three weeks ago.



If you want to see the remainder of the interview, go to CBS’s website.

Read moreIt is simply fascinating to watch Sully speak, and to listen to him talk to air controllers in the moments before impact. His voice is incredibly focused, and out-of-this-world calm, considering that he is at the helm of an aircraft that is disastrously malfunctioning and over one of the most densely populated areas in the world. Add to that, it is his actions that will ultimately decide not only if he lives or dies, but whether another 155 souls survive as well.

Sully has great control over his emotions. He is a man who lives his life by reason and logic. I am sure those who know him well would tell us he has always been an emotional rock. He is and always was in control. And he remained in control and kept his wits about him under the most harrowing of circumstances. It’s simply amazing.

Not only was he amazing in his focus and control, but even after everyone had disembarked from the sinking aircraft, and Sully was on dry land, he still wasn’t at peace until he could truly confirm, again, that all souls on board had made it out alive and were safe. And that was after he walked the empty plane twice before he disembarked! He is truly a remarkable man: a man of deep ethical values (Did you see this?).

As Sully puts it himself, he believed his life experiences leading up to that day were all there to help him in these critical moments.

Yet when we watch the the majority of Sully’s interview, his emotions are muted, and his expressions are minimal. He stares at the camera and the audience intently as he recalls his story, and very uniquely, he almost never breaks his gaze as he recollects and talks of his ordeal that day. He doesn’t habitually look up or down as most people do when they recall things. At one point, Sully even says the experience was unbelievable, and when he does, he shakes his head from side to side.

Captain Sully gives us what most would people would consider a heap of red flags that hint at dishonesty, if we didn’t know he was telling the truth here. He experienced a horrific nightmare that ended almost magically, and yet Sully shows very little emotions until the end of the show.

I personally think Sully still hasn’t come to terms with everything that has happened. He is still processing it, trying to make sense of it, and perhaps still in shock. He even commented that he has lost sleep because he wasn’t sure he could not have done things better! Simply unbelievable.

For me, all of Sully’s behaviors are genuine and true because they match his personality. If I didn’t know the truth here, I would likely hone in on the truth, due to what I call paralleling. When I look at Sully, I get an immediate sense of his personality. His facial features and emotions identify to me that he is a man who is very humble, giving and kind. I would be able to confidently speculate, based on that, that he is a man who is reserved, without an ego, and without a temper. He is quieter than most and with that, I would not be surprised by his lack of expression or emotion. It would not stand out to me.

So next time you see a clue or two, think twice before saying “deceptive”. You may convict an incredible human being, like Sully, if you don’t know the nuances of personality and behavior.

A Word of Caution

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What is so fascinating about the Bruce Mullenix in the video is his body language when he speaks. After Erin Moriarty says Bruce had a “rock solid alibi” the night of the murder, if you only watched Bruce’s body language and tried to discern if he was honest or not here, you would likely conclude Bruce was being deceptive. He shakes his head no when he says yes, and he shrugs his shoulders when he says “Yeah, and I knew that” to Erin Moriarty.

Read moreYet Bruce is NOT lying here. If you thought he was, you’d be clearly mistaken.

The reason I point this out is because there is not one universal clue to deception, and I want people to see this conclusively. Yes, shrugging of the shoulder, or shaking of the head opposite to verbal clues can indicate deception, but when you see it, it doesn’t always mean that someone is being deceptive.

We know that what Bruce is saying here is the truth. The police made him a suspect, their number one suspect at the time, and cleared him. Bruce Mullenix was also out of town when his ex-wife, Barbara, was murdered. And to back it all up, I believed Bruce when I saw him talk. His behaviors were very consistent with what he was saying to me.

Well, how could that be, you ask?

For me, deception detection is not all about the clues. I can’t stress that enough. For me, when I look at a person, I have an immediate sense of their personality. I don’t know if it is facial features, or expressions, but I can usually tell people many facts about a stranger with stunning accuracy, without ever saying a word to them — by simply looking at them, or a photo of them (see what I call paralleling). With that, I listen to what a person says, to see if it matches their personality type, and their typical, expected behavior. That’s how I come to the conclusion whether someone’s behavior is natural and honest, or deceptive, much of the time. The clues only come as supportive evidence for me.

Dr. Maureen O’Sullivan says it best when she says, “They [wizards otherwise known as naturals] seem to have templates of people that they use to make sense of the behavioural deviations they observe… So it is not a set of disembodied cues, but embedded behaviours that are consistent with each other as well as with the kind of person exhibiting them (source).”

So next time you spot a clue to deception, don’t be quick to call someone a liar by one or two clues alone. The process is a lot more complex than what it appears on the surface. I personally recommend focusing on the facts and looking for inconsistencies, first. That will be much more reliable and trustworthy for the average person. Had we done that in this case as well, Bruce would have been cleared quickly, and focus would have fallen where it should, on Rachael Mullenix and Ian Allen.