MacKenzie Philips, 1999

I have to say that when I first heard MacKenzie Philip’s story on Oprah, I was drawn in, perhaps, by the shock value. But as I thought about what she said, I’ve become conflicted. I think it could be because Philips is sending mixed messages about her father. She wants us to see him as a rapist and a perpetrator, abusing his “power” as a father, yet at the same time she truly tells us she loves him and she gets a glow in her eyes when she talks about him. She says her dad was an incredible person, and his demons shouldn’t affect our image of him. And in a very strange twist, she tells us she never worried about her younger sister, who lived with him, being abused by him. Was she and is she that disconnected, still?

Read moreWhen you absorb it all, she talks out of both sides of her mouth. Then she rationalizes perhaps this is due to Stockholm Syndrome (where the victim sympathizes with their perpetrator).

I honestly don’t know what to think.

Philips emotions go all over the chart, which is neither consistent or inconsistent with her message, because logically such a tumultuous life could cause someone to be very ungrounded, if they’ve never dealt with it. And it appears from all Philips is saying, she still hasn’t dealt with anything. She is just writing her story in a book, which makes me wonder what her motivations are for this.

Is she writing this book to help people? If so, you’d expect her to say she is donating the proceeds to help other women, but when Oprah asked her why she wrote this, her answer seemed to come off the top of her tongue, which concerns me, knowing Philips has struggled her entire life with addiction. I don’t know her financial state, but did she do this because she needs the money? Money motivates people to do things they normally wouldn’t do.

If she was truly on a healing path, I would have expected her to help us understand why she did what she did. Why did she stick around after she felt she was raped? She was an adult and could leave. She never confessed to this, at least not on TV. Maybe she does in her book?

Was it the lure of the rich life and drugs? Is she not able to talk about her addiction to drugs yet on any serious level? If she truly wanted to help people, wouldn’t she want to talk about the ravages of addiction, too, if she was on a healing path? She didn’t talk about any of this on TV, which causes me concern.

All in all, I wonder if I am confused, because if this were, let’s say a lie, would this be high-stakes? I mean who could prove or disprove that these two had a consenting sexual relationship? Could anyone outside of Philips or her father, who is now deceased, prove the truth?

Theoretically, she could create or embellish this story and sell it, cash in big, because she knows no one could prove or disprove anything. Yet some people are supporting her, which makes me think perhaps she is honest. One of her father’s band member’s daugther says her father knew. But then why didn’t he feel morally obligated to help “Mac”? If others knew, why didn’t they draw the line? I know many people suffer from incest in their families and it is no doubt a horrible experience many people will relate too.

I keep hearing “Mac” say that her father told her, “A lie will serve you better than the truth.”

On the Today Show, she says she was 18 when she was raped. On Oprah, she said she was 19.

Then I think, “‘Mac’ look clean in her recent interviews.”

I’m all over the place.

When I watched her on the Today Show, which aired the day after Oprah, this morning, I got an uneasy feeling again. I guess I am not willing to come to any conclusions at this point. Perhaps it is because her life has been tragic enough, I just don’t want to go there. But when I start to think that, I think how could anyone come out normal in the world she lived in ? My goodness, her life was hell and you can’t blame her for it–at least in the early years.

This story is so out there that even I can’t put my finger on it with any certainty, which if you are a regular reader of mine, you know this is VERY RARE. My opinion changes minute to minute. I will simply say, may she find peace and may she truly find a “healing path”.