“Are you a perfect liar?”
Of all the questions that arise when I doing training, the one I least expected was, “Since you understand deception so well, are you the perfect liar?”
I remember the first time it was asked, I was blown away.
In real life, people trust me and tell me I have an honest face, so this was a bit alarming! Why would anyone think that of me, I thought. But when I thought about it more, I could see the point of the question.
It makes sense, doesn’t it?
But there is good news! The answer is no, I am not the perfect liar nor could I be, even knowing what I know about deception and human behavior.
And the reason is simple. Clues leak to deception for two reasons: First because we are under a higher cognitive load when we tell a lie–we have to balance the truth from a lie) which causes clues to leak naturally. And second, because we want to succeed with our lie, we naturally put pressure on ourselves to succeed and that pressure increases our cognitive load emotionally, which also causes clues to leak.
The more pressure on a person to get away with a lie, the higher likelihood they will leak clues. And in high stake scenarios, we naturally put pressure on ourselves with our desire to be successful and hence we slip up.
So while I know what the clues to deception are, if I try to make sure cognitively that I don’t display any of them, what am I doing to my cognitive load?
I’m sending it through the moon, aren’t I? So what are the chances I would leak clues? The chances are greatly elevated.
Just imagine my thought process trying to tell a lie…blah, blah, blah…don’t forget you can’t stare someone dead in the face, don’t move your shoulder or your lip…what was I saying, oh yeah…blah, blah, blah…did I just move my shoulder? Bahhh!!! What was I saying? Oh yeah, blah, blah…wait…don’t skip pronouns, confuse verb tense — uh…stutter, stutter…. at this point, my lie would blaring for all the world to see LOL!
So while I may understand deception on a detailed level, it doesn’t mean I would be the perfect liar.
And furthermore that is why I am comfortable openly teaching my material to people because if I teach my material to someone sinister, its very unlikely for even more reasons than I am discussing here that he or she will be able to become a better liar either. Actually, the converse is true. If they focus on all the clues I teach, it will only cause them to leak even more clues, which is candy for me!
Update: For those who are curious what makes a good liar, this article is for you.
