Dating or Married to a Liar?

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So many people come to my website because they type in the word liar, and are looking for help because they suspect, or have discovered that someone is deceiving them.

If this is you, I recommend two websites to help you understand deception in relationships. The first I have mentioned before: Truth About Deception. The second one I would like to recommend is called LoveFraud.com. Both of these websites should be helpful for people who struggle with lying in a relationship.

Read moreLoveFraud.com is a website and a blog written by a woman, Donna Andersen, who is a freelance writer from New Jersey. She married a sociopath, and has now dedicated a fair amount of her time to write and maintain this website (and subsequent blog) about sociopaths.

Andersen explains sociopaths in depth, and furthermore, she shares with us her own personal experience with a sociopath, but that is just the tip of the iceberg for this website. Andersen provides great links, research and other personal stories and encounters from other victims of sociopaths. She even has a psychiatrist on her blog who is available for questions, and who writes posts.

Do you think you’ve ever met a sociopath (or psychopath)?

I’ve asked this question to many people, and I am amazed at the response I get. “No, and I don’t want to. ” The reality is we all have met psychopaths, but most likely didn’t know it.

Psychopaths aren’t people who are raged filled, and ready to murder the next person who walks into their trap. Instead, these people are usually exceptional manipulators who can smooth talk the best of us into weaving pieces of their intricate web of deception for them without us being any wiser.

If you haven’t checked out Donna Andersen’s website, I highly recommend it. It’s packed with very useful information, and if you are personally involved with someone who lies a lot, perhaps this information will be valuable for you. It could save you from a lot of heartache, and as Donna says, it could save your life.

Andersen also writes:

Dr. Hare (an international expert on sociopaths) estimates that 1% of the people in North America are born sociopaths. If the percentage holds true for the entire world, in a global population of 6.5 billion there are 65 million sociopaths. With so many around, everyone is bound to cross paths with them sooner or later.

I highly recommend clicking on her side bar topics like Risk Calculator, Quiz: Are you a Target, and How to Spot a Con.

It’s a fascinating read!

Hannah Montana Mom really sorry?

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I am sure most of you have heard about the mom who helped her daughter write an essay in hopes of winning free tickets to the Hannah Montana concert in New York on January 9th. She wrote an essay, and won.

Priscilla Ceballos helped her six year old daughter write “My daddy died this year in Iraq. I am going to give mommy the Angel pendant that daddy put on mommy when she was having me. I had it in my jewelry box since that day. I love my mommy.”

It was a complete lie. Her dad didn’t die in Iraq. Furthermore, these are clearly not the thoughts of six year old. It doesn’t take an Einstein to see that.

Ceballos tells everyone that she didn’t know it was breaking the rule to create a fictitious story.

Oh really?

Read moreCeballos seems to forget the moral obligation of parents to teach children honesty, and how to win a competition with integrity and fairness. Instead, she tries to twist the truth again. She wants you to continue to buy her deceptive games. She wants you to believe she just didn’t know any better.

Excuse me, but I’m not buying it. And Ceballos boldly takes it a step further. Watch here.

Matt Lauer says, “How did you explain to your daughter that she won, and then lost this contests?”

Ceballos responds, “…I..I…I really haven’t. I mean… I really told her…I’ve actually told her the truth. You know, I told her we wrote an essay and… you know, their…they…they said it was a lie and you know… we… I…I refused to accept the tickets.”

Matt Lauer says, “Refused to accept the tickets or they were taken away from you?”

Ceballos says, “Well…I…I did refused to accept them, but I told her that, you know…there… there will be another time.”

Refused to accept them? Told her child the truth?

Ceballos is continuing to add insult to injury. She is insulting us with her “stories” a second time around.

Facts About Lying

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I found an interesting article today from the University of Massachusetts for those of you who are interested in deception facts.

It says:

  1. Sixty percent of people lied during a 10 minute conversation.
  2. The average person told two or three lies in that 10 minutes.
  3. The people in the study were surprised that they lied so much!
  4. Men and women lie about the same amount. They just lie about different things.
  5. Women most often lie to make others feel better.
  6. Men most often lie to make themselves feel better.

How many lies are told per day to the average person then?

I suggest it is best not to think about it!

Quote of the Day

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Somewhere between the brilliant
white light of truth
and the bitter darkness of deceit
is a place where many of us
live our lives
in the shadows.

– Anonymous

Confronting a liar

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Each week, a handful of users come to my blog because they are searching for answers to their relationship problems.

I often see search strings like this on my statistics page:

  • Should I confront a liar?
  • How do I spot a liar?
  • Is he/she lying to me?

So with that, I would like to direct people to a great website, Truth About Deception: An Honest Look at Deception, Love and Romance, which provides fabulous information for people struggling with issues in relationships.

I highly recommend this website.