What does the ideal man looking like around the globe?

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An online doctor website did an interesting study. They sent graphic designers around the world a photo of a man, and asked them to mold him into the “perfect person” that would be found attractive in their respective societies.  It’s quite fascinating to see how culture, and society define beauty quite differently.  This experiment really shows it off.

Take a look.

What thoughts do you have when you see this?

Here is the female version of the study.

Bill Cosby’s Leaks

Everyone knows Bill Cosby doesn’t want to speak or address the accusations made by 16 women.  And why would he?  Being silent has worked for him for decades.  Furthermore, we all know the more one speaks if he is guilty, the faster he will hang the noose around his neck. But even without Bill Cosby speaking very much, in the little he has spoken, he has shown very supportive behavioral evidence that he is quite capable of the accusations made.  Mind you, I have already seen two women speak out and believe them, and we can’t have both sides being honest, but I want to share what Bill Cosby is revealing and what it means.

Bill Cosby did an interview on November 6, 2014, with an Associated Press reporter (see above).  They released this video amidst allegations.   In this video, we see Cosby ask the reporter not to air his reply that he doesn’t want to speak about the accusations. That in and of itself says little.  However, it is HOW he broached the topic with the reporter that is very revealing and quite telling of the type of person the real Bill Cosby is.  Listen to what Bill Cosby says.

He says, “I know I didn’t say anything, but I’m asking your integrity that since I didn’t want to say anything, but I did answer you in terms of ‘I don’t want to say anything, of what value will it have?'”

The use of the word integrity here is stunning.

Bill Cosby, whose integrity is being questioned, is telling this reporter that essentially if he airs this video, he has no integrity.  That’s jaw dropping how he turns the tables.

The reporter never promised him anything and Cosby’s admits it, yet Cosby is twisting the facts and being extremely manipulative.  This action by Cosby says a ton about his personality and it is anything but “Huxtable” in quality.   Instead, he is skillfully trying to put his lack of credibility or integrity in question on this reporter!  This is jaw dropping and not the behavior of an ethical, honest or decent man.

If I witnessed this in person, my trust would be revoked for him immediately by these actions alone.

Cosby goes even further with this young reporter and says, “I think if you want to consider yourself to be serious that it will not appear anywhere.”

This is a threat in no simple terms.

Cosby is basically saying if you want to be a serious professional here, you better not do this.  He is implicating without saying it directly that he will make sure the guy is not taken as a serious reporter if he leaks it!  Why else would he say this?

The reporter did absolutely nothing wrong, and yet Cosby has leveled two serious attacks on him trying to implicate him as unethical and unprofessional if he doesn’t do what Cosby wants!  When the entire time it is Cosby who is being questioned for being unethical and unprofessional.  Cosby tries to the turn the tables with incredible ease!!  It’s flat out chilling. He is a man who is used to wielding extreme manipulation and control on people. I can assure you honest people with integrity would never speak like this to someone.  It is highly supportive that Cosby is everything he is being accused of and maybe more.

And that’s not all Cosby has revealed.

He told a reporter on Friday in Florida, “I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn’t have to answer to innuendos.”

This statement is hotter than a potato coming out of a brick oven!

If you are accused of being a serial rapist who drugged women, would you refer to this as “innuendos”?  I would bet my last dollar you would not.  You would flatly DENY the allegations, but Cosby has yet to deny anything. Ever.

You should take notice.

And instead of a flat out rejecting of the accusations, he softens them to the point of absurdity with the word “innuendos”.

Add to that he doesn’t even put himself in the equation.  He says “a guy”.  He does not talk in first person. It’s highly notable.

People who do harm to others in society often have a horrible time saying the things they’ve done, because its too close for them to utter the words. They are too hard to say if they are, in fact, guilty. Murderers will often say the person “died” or “disappeared” but cannot say murder or killed.  And here we have Cosby who can’t say “rape”, or even put himself in the same sentence.

So Cosby gives us really strong behavioral evidence that is supportive he is not honest.  We can clearly see that he is extremely manipulative and controlling, and lacks integrity to turn the tables so fast on an innocent reporter.  Now add that, you have 16 women coming forward who show no evidence that is contradictory to their stories, and tell me who you believe…

Think of all the innocent people you have seen in your life who were accused of a serious crime and who refused to speak.  How many can you think of?  I ask you, my readers, to try to think of people who refused to speak when accused of one or more serious crimes who turned up to be innocent.  Can you think of anyone?   I can’t think of one, but I am willing to try to find an example.

People will tell you who they are, if you just listen.

“Your actions speak so loudly, I can not hear what you are saying.”

–Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

A&E: The Killer Speaks

Have you seen this show on A&E?

If not, its truly worth watching. However, I will warn you it is very chilling.

But you get to have a front row seat into the mind of a killer.

Some lie. And some tell the truth.

It’s endlessly fascinating!

If my time allows in the coming weeks, I will share my thoughts on the latest episode.

My Thoughts: Ted Bundy

When I watch the video of Ted Bundy, I am immediately struck at how his game is “on”. Bundy had an arsenal of tools that he used to fool people psychologically, and I am amazed at how many that he employs in the first eleven seconds of this video.

By Bundy’s behaviors, it is clear that he knew he could deceive anyone. Bundy understood human behavior and psychology at levels that far exceed most people, if you want my opinion, intuitively, and he knew how to turn the tables on people in seconds. He was wickedly manipulative.

Read moreWhile we all know that Bundy is guilty here, and we are all creeped out by the man in hindsight, I can assure you at the time when people first watched Bundy talk, he gave people serious doubts by his behaviors and actions. Bundy knew how to make people want to believe him. Add in his good looks and articulate speech, and it is no wonder he managed to get away with so many murders.

Bundy figured out that defensiveness is a sure sign of guilt, and what most people use as a gauge to detect truthfulness. He knew to avoid it at all costs. He also knew that if he appeared confident and self-assured, he’d gain more people’s trust.

Bundy also used distraction. He uses it here with chilling ease. He talks about how he stole a comic book when he was five years old. And even further, he knew that if he admitted to some wrongs, in a time of accusations, that people would think he was truthful and honest. But more than that, Bundy knew if he talked about something where he was guilty, if he displayed any guilty behaviors, people might attribute them back to the benign behavior, instead of the more serious one. After all, Bundy used in his calculations that it’s human nature to reject the people in front of us are capable of horrible things. It’s much easier to accept he stole a comic book and is honest, rather than believe he is lying and guilty of killing people. Most people are Pollyannas.

Bundy used multiple techniques in a matter of mere seconds to lure in his victims. It’s horrifyingly chilling in this video alone. The ease at which Bundy psychologically baits us is simply mind-blowing. In the first eleven seconds of this video, I count five psychological tools that Bundy used to fool people. That’s almost one every two seconds!! It’s no wonder Bundy was so successful at his crime.

When Bundy says, “I am not guilty of the allegations that have been filed against me”, it is fascinating to watch him. He is very articulate. Notice how he keeps his eyes locked on to the interviewer? He used this as a tool, too. Most people believed (and sadly still believe) that eye contact is a sign of honesty. But when Bundy says this, he shows doubt. He bites his lip. His confidence wanes, and if you are savvy, you would see not only this, but that his initial laughter was as a fake as a plastic cake!

Yet, when you stack up his leaks versus his luring techniques, he’s still ahead of the game.

Bundy goes on to say, “I don’t know all of what you are speaking about, Lucky, it’s too broad and I can’t get into it in any detail…” What is fascinating about this is, if he was innocent, what detail would there be to talk about?

Bundy employs psychological trickery, again, when he says, “No man is truly innocent…” and again when he stares intently, without loosing eye contact with the interviewer, when he says, “Nothing like the things you’re referring too.”

I find it chilling the way that Bundy laughs at how he is as likely to die in front of a firing squad as is the interivewer is of dying in a plane crash. Bundy says with an eerie grin, “Let’s hope you don’t.”

Bundy says he did not lie awake thinking about it (the charges against him, I suspect). He says, “Honest to god, not a moment.” I don’t believe him for an instant. Do you see the lip curl at the end? It’s an indication that what he said was a fib (It’s my husband’s classic clue to deception!).

Listen to what Bundy says here:

“I’ve been told the parents of these girls are fairly decent people… I don’t know, and I really feel for them because apparently these people suffered some incredible tragedy in their lives. The loss of a loved one is probably the most extreme kind of loss one could suffer in this life, and I say, I feel as much for them as anybody can.”

Bundy is trying to get people to accept him as compassionate and caring, but when you look at his words, they are very revealing. In his attempt to gain our trust, he actually rambles like a fool here. Bundy, I suspect, subconsciously minimizes what he is saying and doesn’t even realize it. Words can be so telling.

Notice how Bundy uses the word “apparently”? That word discredits the parents suffering, as if maybe the girls weren’t really murdered, as if he needs proof, and doesn’t believe this is so. Perhaps this was a subconscious form of distancing? It’s notably odd.

Then Bundy postulates that the loss of a loved one is “probably” the most “extreme” kind of loss there is. Why is he hedging with “probably” here, yet using the word extreme? Either he believes it or he doesn’t. These words identify Bundy is inconsistent. His subconscious, I suspect, is leaking out his real feelings.

He also uses the word “some incredible tragedy”. Why the word “some”? It’s as if he is saying “some tragedy”, but not the worst tragedy, isn’t it? Again, his words are minimizing things without him even realizing it. Then if you consider the use of the word “incredible”, one can immediately see he is inconsistent and immediately knows that he is B.S.-ing.

I also find it odd how he says he’s been told the parents of these girls are “fairly decent”? What normal person would even consider putting into question the decency of the parents? Why does he use “fairly” instead of just decent? I don’t think anyone told Bundy, “Hey, you know, these girls parents were fairly decent.” It’s ridiculous. I suspect this was another subconscious slip of the tongue. He wanted to say decent, but just couldn’t do it. I also like how he ends the sentence with, “I don’t know”.

Bundy was rambling in an attempt to gain support, and this last paragraph, if you ask me, backfired on him, but I am not sure if the average person would have picked up on his hedging. Most people don’t see the importance of what I coined “hedge words”, but they are very, very telling.

I certainly wouldn’t want to have met Ted Bundy. He could manipulate many people into believing they were holding an orange when it was really an apple, if you want my opinion.