Dateline this past weekend detailed the story of Dan Markel’s murder in twisted details that took so many turns, you have to watch it to understand them all!  Right now, I’m not finding the video online, but hopefully Dateline NBC will upload it shortly. The episode is titled “Cold-Blooded”.   20/20 covered the story before here.

Dan Markel was divorced from his wife, Wendi Adelson, when he was murdered in 2014 at his Tallahassee home. The police have found two men who are talking about the crime, have been arrested and they say they were hired, but so far there have been no arrests in the case for the person(s) who hired them.

Wendi wanted to move to be near her family seven hours south in Miami, but the judge in their custody case said she could not uproot the children. She was denied. There was incredible tension between Dan and the Adelsons, which could have been a motive for Wendi and her family.

I found Wendi’s interview with police interesting.  She pings me left and right in her interview.

I was digging around on the case and found this interview podcast of Wendi. She took a writing class after her ex-husband’s murder and read a piece she wrote.  At one point in her writing, she talks about marrying Markel.  She says, “We married when I was in my mid-20s, when I thought I could cheat the system and marry a man I lacked passion and love for because, hey, didn’t that die anyway during marriage?”

Ouch!

She also talks about how after the murder, she sat next to an older lady on bench when the older woman ask her, “What does your husband do?”  She says, “I hate this question.  I haven’t yet said, he doesn’t do much, because he’s DEAD, but I think it sometimes.”  The tone of her voice when she says that is startling. It’s whiny.  At another point she talks about her face as an “endless mask”–that smiles from muscle memory.  She’s quite an interesting person, and seems to come from quite the family!

What did you think when you watched Wendi?  Do you think Wendi Adelson is the one who is the person behind the hired hit of her ex-husband?

[polldaddy poll=9983227]

This is a deeply thought-provoking video on why echo chambers breed loneliness.

That’s a mouthful, bear with me.

Dr. Brene Brown studies vulnerability, and she has some fascinating things to say. If you haven’t heard of her, she’s worth exploring.

I will share some of her videos with my thoughts in the coming weeks because my interest in human behavior and deception crossover with her studies of vulnerability and connection.

With our deeply divided nation right now, people are struggling more than ever to discern the truth, right?

I know many of you are craving better ways to determine truth from lies in your own life, because those in power are doing everything they can to confuse the public to keep their agendas on target decrying “fake news” and denying reality when it suits them.  The truth has lost its power, and corruption rules.   I’ve seen it on both sides of the isle, sadly.

In this video, Dr. Brown hits the nail on the head on precisely how to do this–how to spot the truth without a good lie detector. She does so indirectly, but she does it beautifully!

Dr. Brown gives you the best tool for this, and I can tell you it will guide you with clarity.

Most people believe if you aren’t on my side, you are my enemy, right?

And what do we when we think about them as “the enemy”?

We dehumanize them.

Brown’s message is so poignant and on target.

Dehumanizing them is literally breaking down society’s safety net as we know it.  Having compassion that we are all in this together, that we are all human, is what protects us as a civilized society. Denying any part of our society as less than human is literally breaking down the fabric of truth.

We are setting the stage for much more horrific atrocities, if this continues. We are at huge crossroad if we allow this to progress. History demonstrates this.

As a society, this is a cancer and we have to stop this.

What can YOU do to stop this incredibly dangerous tear in our fabric?

There are several things. First, it means taking a look at yourself.  In our fears and discomfort (which we are all feeling), we are prone to want to paint those who disagree with us as less than human.  It makes us feel SAFE! Right?

It’s your job to work at being aware of when you do this as we all will at times (be truthful to yourself).  When you do catch yourself, look at the other “people”, and instead of focusing on your differences, focus on your commonality–what do you have in common?

I can find many people who have different beliefs than me who share so much in common.

It’s okay to disagree with people, to have different values, it’s healthy for you, but look at the people as they are:  human, and try to find their beauty. We all bring something special to the table, if you look.

Second, when anyone in public (in your world or on TV), whether they are a politician or just a plain old person, speaks out with any dehumanizing behavior — NOTICE!  STOP!  PAY ATTENTION. And DO NOT support it!  Make your feelings known this is not acceptable behavior!

Dehumanizing people is your BIGGEST WARNING SIGN that the person doing so is dangerous. They are an absolute threat to democracy as you know it and the life you love.

For this behavior is your biggest litmus test to determine truth and lies.

A person who is willing to dehumanize another will NEVER acknowledge the truth–they are incapable of it on any level, and in that state of mind they are flat out dangerous!   This is precisely the stuff of world wars and genocides.

There are zero excuses for any human to dehumanize another — and that is your ethical measure to say stop the lies!!

I give you permission to say enough is enough!!!

I will not support or tolerate anyone who does that.  EVER.

It is unity, not division, that will heal our nation, and our world, and the only way we can do that is to see our enemy not as a threat, but as another human being where we need to build connection. For it is our disconnect that will ultimately bring us down as a society and as a people.