Does Donald Trump know he is a racist?

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Donald Trump denies he is a racist is the video above when asked about it after his “#hithole” comments last week.

Trump replies when questioned by reporters, “No, I am not a racist.”

Are you scratching your head?

How can he say that after what he said last week?  Does he believe people are that dumb or can he, himself, not see it?

Well, the answer is both.   He does believe people are beneath him and can’t see what he sees, but he also doesn’t see who he is.

When you look at someone who has very ugly traits or behaviors, be it habitual lying, narcissism, psychopathy, racism, bigotry, etc,  they will not see themselves as “that” person.  “That person” is a bad person and no one sees themselves as bad. “Bad” is always someone else.  No one ever owns “bad”.

This is why negative behaviors and traits like this continue on and on.  The person with the slanted way of seeing the world has no idea they see the world slanted.  If you talk to them, they will come up with 100 justifications as to why they are not that person and why in the end, you are wrong and they are right.

I am often asked in my classes, does a psychopath know they are a psychopath?

The answer is no.

Do they know they are different?

Most of the time, yes, but they attribute it to many reasons that are positive and not negative.  They are smarter, wiser, more in control, aren’t emotional, etc.

No one sees themselves as bad.  Take a look at yourself. We all have “bad” traits. Do you own yours??

Most likely not.   When is the last time you lied and said “my bad”.  Probably never.  You justified why you should do it, didn’t you? Or you wouldn’t have done it.

The healthier you are mentally, the more you are aware of your shortcomings and can openly talk about them and discuss them.  The more you are unable to face them, talk about them and own them, the more you lean towards displaying dark behaviors in a state of denial.

Where do you fall on that scale?

Can you even look at yourself?

Happy Monday!

Michael Wolff and Fire and Fury: Credible?

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Prior to the release of Michael Wolff’s book ‘Fire and Fury’, I had never heard of the man.  Naturally with the book, I was curious as to who he is so I set out to look.

Watching Wolff speak, I see a flamboyantly styled man by his looks alone, yet in his recent interviews, I saw subdued. That’s a contradiction to me. I immediately question: subdued by purpose or by cause? Because he is not a subdued type.  I ponder:  Was he arrogant in the past and cut down?  Or does he need credibility so he is playing it cool?  Those are the questions running through my mind as I watch him speak in the video below.

If Wolff and I met in a lobby of a hotel and chatted, I wouldn’t put my guard down with him as I can with some people. There would be a watchful eye at all times. There is something about him that raises my eyebrows. I settle on his flamboyant style as what pings me.  His personality fits a profile of a person that loves to get attention, attract people’s interest and tell things with a flare.  Do you see it? It fits with what he is doing as well (behaviorally).

When I watch Wolff in the interview, I believe Wolff believes what he is telling us.  And he tells us directly–he witnessed lots of conflict, and through that conflict he made choices as to what the truth is. When he tells us everyone was lying, and that he had to discern the truth, he is truthful on that–but as an expert in human behavior and deception, at what level is he able to discern the truth accurately?  I question that.  Is he good at it or not?

So I have a flamboyant man who I am now relying on to determine what he thinks is truthful. That gives me pause. I would prefer someone who remains neutral and gives me both sides of the story and lets me decide. Do you agree?  Does he do that in his book? From the interview, he suggests he does not.

I have not read his book, so I cannot comment on the book. I can only comment on his statements.  And much of what I hear in the video above supports what I have seen so far myself from the reporting by people in the White House directly. It supports what I have seen from Trump, Bannon, Priebus, Conway, Spicer and others.   It’s no secret the White House is in chaos, that rational thinking doesn’t apply there (what rational WH would give recording access to anyone cart blanche)?

Which makes me ponder: Did they give him access?  Why would they? Ironically, I have not heard a denial on this front from the White House on the recording being illegal or not vetted or approved, so I am assuming they did or they would go after him since he is claiming he had tapes. Right?  Have you seen a story on this?  The absence of it will speak volumes. I will be watching.

So the overall messages from Wolff does not ping me as fundamentally false in this interview, but I would not trust things verbatim.

And oddly, in reading more about him, I see quotes that he writes in the introduction of his book  that accounts from the book “are in conflict with one another” and may be “badly untrue,” according to thehill.com.

That screeches me to a halt.

I am not comfortable with his words that things may be “badly untrue”.  If he is reporting what people said–what they said would never be untrue, even if the person told a lie.  They said it. That would be fact, right?  What they said, however, may not be fact but as a journalist, I am not responsible for their lies, so I would never write that statement unless I may not be truthful.  That statement is a caveat flip-card to say I told you so, isn’t it?

That smells to me of an excuse.

 That doesn’t work for me.

CNBC is reporting that Wolff said in his Today Show interview, “I certainly said what was ever necessary to get the story.”  I didn’t watch the interview, so I am trusting CNBC and if that’s true:  Ouch.

Further CNBC is showing how Wolff slipped up on facts already that reporters are exposing (see link above).

I don’t like that sloppiness.

So for me, while I know the White House is a chaotic mess and I am sure a lot of stuff being reported is based in the truth, take it with a kernel of “maybe, maybe not.” I don’t need Wolff to tell me things are way out of whack in the White House. They are insane.  I’ve seen enough with my own eyes to know that much is true. The rest I will take with caution and remember, this is the story by a man who profits.

Science Says 7 Factors Predict Divorce

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ArtsyBee / Pixabay

MSN has an interesting article today about elements in relationships that can predict a higher divorce rate.  I think it is a good article.

I have a horrible knack for watching people and seeing the signs that predict divorce. I have predicted many before their time, and its awkward and uncomfortable to know two people are not heading down the right path.  You can’t exactly knock on their door, or start a conversation with, “hey, just so you know, the way you two went at each other at dinner the other night, it’s a bad sign. There is a lack of boundaries and respect.”  You know?

If you find you have one of these seven factors, see if there is something you can do to change your marriage. Do you stonewall your partner?  Shut down when you have fights?  If you find an element, see if you can take the steps to fix it and reduce your odds!!

Here is the article.

Happy 2018!  I do plan to blog more in the coming year, I promise. I’ve had a lull and I hope it to pick it back up!!

Roy Moore-Ouch!

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Listening to Roy Moore, I don’t believe him.

This is why: He says, “These attacks involve a minor and they are completely false and untrue–about something that happened nearly 40 years ago…”.

Wait a minute, if they are completely false, how could they have HAPPENED 40 years ago?

This is what I would call a subconscious slip.  The conscious mind can’t reconcile information fast enough to hide his true thoughts!

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The Fake Product Reviews: Are you in the know?

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The internet is a fun and fascinating place with so much information, so many products, and games.  You name it, if you have interest in it, its out there on the world wide web!  The internet has become a big part of most people’s lives.  No longer do we have to drive all over town to find what we want. We can click and order. What convenience, right?  And for many of us, this has become a way of life.  Let’s face it, the retail stores most of us grew up with are a dying breed, even in major metro areas, and the product choices online are endless (way beyond what we normally would have access to) so virtual shopping is really all the rage!  The problem is we can’t touch or feel the product firsthand. We are often required to rely on internet reviews–reviews from other customers who came before us to know if a product is good or not. But are they trustworthy?

I wrote several years back how I found my negative reviews on Yelp were being hidden, and that there were several lawsuits by companies saying Yelp wasn’t being fair (I still don’t trust them).  That raised my eyebrows high.   About five years ago, I started realizing one in every five purchases I made on ebay involved fraud too.  So I steered clear of those as much as possible.

I tried to buy from big stores instead and like many people I found what I needed was often at Amazon. So I shopped there. I thought all was okay. But there are some serious loopholes!

If you are super internet savvy, you’ve probably become aware of the paid reviews. People are paid to review products to raise a product’s visibly, and no doubt, a product with more positive reviews will sell more product.  But with paid reviewers out there, who aren’t legitimate or honest, the game has changed. Reviews can be worthless!   Yes, paid reviewers are scamming the system acting as legitimate purchasers. Amazon is rife with this today.

If you find a product you like on Amazon, do some quick research before you buy.  Are the reviews suspicious?

Here are two tools for you to use:  FakeSpot.com and ReviewMeta.com. There are probably many more (feel free to post them in the comment section). I run products I’m interested in from Amazon through both of these tools now, and it’s quite illuminating!

Here is an example. I took a product from Amazon, “Pure Biology Anti Aging Night Cream“.  I ran it through FakeSpot, then ReviewMeta. Check out the results.

Wow, right?

Amazon showed over 900 reviews with a five star rating and said it was an Amazon best seller!  The two websites above, however, completely disagreed!  So much for trustworthy reviews.

If I am buying something that is not on Amazon, I search Google for reviews and find as many different reviews as I can from different respectable companies  (for example, if I was buying a camera, I would go to man different retailers to see their reviews — places I can take the product back to, for example). Good products usually are rated good across multiple reputable seller websites (Best Buy, B&H Photo, etc.).  Bad products will not have any reviews but in one location, or they will be good in one location but bad in many others.

If you don’t check the source of a review, however, you can get taken again.  Here is an example: Look at this review here.  Look at the print on the far right of the page.

Do you see it?

It says “Advertising Disclosures”.

If you click it, it reads, “The content that appears on this page are from companies from which this website receives compensation, which may impact how, where and in what order products appear…”

If that doesn’t say run, I don’t know what does!

We are in the most deceptive time in our history on so many levels, if you ask me.  And if you don’t pay attention when shopping online, you may very well get taken again and again and again.

I hope this information helps you get a good value for your dollar during our busy holiday shopping season!

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