Cindy Anthony on Today Show

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Cindy Anthony was on the Today show last week and I was asked to review the video for all the apparent lies. It doesn’t take any talent to see that Cindy is having a hard time with the truth, and can’t face it, but is she doing this intentionally or is this an unconscious coping mechanism?

Read moreThe topic about whether Cindy is intentionally lying is highly debated and I can confidently say to you that the more emotional you feel about this subject, the more likely are to believe that Cindy Anthony is absolutely lying, but I don’t believe that. I don’t believe Cindy’s clearer-than-day denial of the truth are her attempts to deceive the public. Rather I believe she is talking like this because it is a coping mechanism–because it is too hard to face the truth. It’s too much to bear. I believe Cindy Anthony is in denial. The American Psychological Association defines denial like this:

Denial represents a basic or primitive psychological defense mechanism by which a person or persons unconsciously rejects some or all of the meanings of an event or situation. Through denial, an individual or even a group of individuals (loved ones, friends, colleagues) avoid awareness of some painful aspect or aspects of reality (health issues, financial issues, relationship issues) in order to decrease anxiety or other unpleasurable emotions such as guilt or shame (1).

George, on the other hand I suspect knows the truth, but loves Cindy and is trying to support her however he can.

Mental health expert, Jim West, talks about how Cindy Anthony could be in denial as well.

References:

(1) Moore, Burness E. & Fine, Bernard D (Editors) Psychoanalytic Terms and Concepts. The American Psychoanalytic Association, 1990 pgs 50-51.

Expression of the Day

BETHESDA, MD - JULY 30: Bride to be Lauren Cechak (L) and her mother Elaine Cechak express their dislike for a wedding gown during Filene's Basement's annual sale July 30, 2010 in Bethesda, Maryland. Hundreds of brides to be and their shopping teams line up early waiting to buy gowns at drastically low prices during the annual sale, dubbed the 'Running of the Brides'. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)

Lauren Cechak and her mother look at wedding gowns on July 30, 2010.

What expression do you see?

Craigslist Killer Philip Markoff Commits Suicide

Expression of the Day

CHICAGO - AUGUST 12: Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich arrives at the Dirksen Federal Building while the jury deliberates in his corruption trial August 12, 2010 in Chicago, Illinois. After 12 days of deliberation the jury has reached a unanimous decision on only 2 of the 24 charges against the former governor. Blagojevich has been charged with corruption while in office including accusations of trying to sell the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President Barack Obama after Obama's November 2008 election. (Photo by John Gress/Getty Images)
Blagojevich arrives at the Dirksen Federal Building yesterday
while the jury deliberates in his corruption trial

This is an interesting facial expression by Rod Blagojevich. He is normally a tense, uptight person, but here his face is soft and relaxed. It’s an unusual facial expression for Blago to make so I thought I would point it out.

Mattress Deception

Bed in a Bedroom

I once bought a mattress at a custom mattress shop. I was excited. It had a 15 year warranty, but sadly within the first year and half, the mattress failed. It was so bad, I couldn’t ignore my backache anymore, so I called the company to honor their warranty.

Read moreThe warranty process was a nightmare. The salesman was really good at leading people astray and frustrating them. At first he denied there was a problem at all and tried to blame me, but when I could give him photos that clearly showed the problem, he backed down.

Then what he would do is say, “Well there is a problem, but what would you like me to do about it?”

I’d firmly tell him replace the mattress. But he would go on to say, “What part?”

I started to fall for this, but then I realized if I told him what needed to be replaced and I was wrong, because I was not an expert, he would blame me when it failed again. I wasn’t going there! I quickly retorted back, “Whatever needs to be fixed so I don’t have a sag. I want a mattress that supports me like I paid for and was promised I would get.”

The guy became frustrated with me that I didn’t fall into his “gotcha hole” of telling him what to do, so we went round and round. He was clearly trying to wear me out, but he soon realized I wasn’t going away. I had to write two registered letters to finally get him to take my mattress. Finally after many weeks of going back and forth, he agreed to pick it up and give me a replacement. I thought I was going to get relief.

I was then asked to go to the shop and pick a new mattress style and firmness. My husband and I took the job very seriously and picked a mattress that was of similar quality and firmness to what we already had. I like a firm mattress. The next week, they delivered it.

I was so thrilled until I went to bed. The mattress was rock solid, harder than a brick — I kid you not. I about died. I had never felt a mattress like this before. It was surreal, like something out of a nightmare. I had tears streaming down my face that night as I compared that mattress to the floor. The floor with my wool rug was actually softer. If you think I am joking, I am not. I slept on the floor that night.

Sleeping on the floor that night made me one mad woman, let me tell you. I thought about it all night long and devised my plan. I wasn’t going to let this guy get away with this deception!! I knew for a fact not one mattress in his entire store was as firm was what he delivered to me. I was outraged.

I got up in the morning, and instead of calling the store where I bought my mattress, I called around to other stores in the chain. I told them I was looking to buy the mattress that was supposedly delivered to me (I had a name). I asked them what layers of foam and cotton were put into that mattress. They told me. I could see examples online. I then asked if they had a cut out of the mattress, if I went in the store to see what the layers looked like, so I could feel them. They said yes. Then I asked them if they were to make the mattress more firm, what would they add? They told me layers of cotton.

So now I had educated myself on exactly what I was sold, so if I had something different, I could clearly prove it. My thought was this: If this guy was deceptive, which I knew he was –selling me one product and switching it for something else–I could prove it. Hands down. I knew what he sold me was likely my old mattress stuffed with more wood. My mattress ended up being 3″ taller than the model I supposedly bought the first time and the replacement. That in itself was a dead giveaway that I was being hosed!

I now had all the information I needed to call this guy out.

I called up the shop later that morning and I said my mattress wasn’t what I ordered. There must have been a mistake. The sales guy got on the phone with me and told me it was no mistake. That was the mattress I ordered. We went back and forth a few times. It was clear he was trying to pull the wool over my eyes so I laid out my plan to catch him at his game.

I told him I knew he was being deceptive and playing games with me and I wasn’t going to stand for it. I told him I was going to cut open my mattress, video tape it and then compare it to the floor models and cut-outs at other stores and online photos. If he was being less than honest and stuffed my mattress with other items and it was not the product I ordered, I was going to expose his lies publicly.

Guess what? I had a check in my hands with 12 hours for the full price of that mattress and the mattress was removed immediately. The salesman came and personally delivered the check and got rid of the evidence! He got caught in his scam and he knew it. I got my money back, thank you!

The next time you feel you are being taken advantage of…think hard about how you can prove the truth. It will serve you well.