What is the secret to success?

geralt / Pixabay

I have always believed that the truth naturally rewards you with self-confidence, and telling lies naturally brings on insecurity, self-doubt and poor self-esteem, and so with that, I have chosen to be exceptionally honest in my life.  As I matured into adulthood, however, I was stunned to find many people, even experts, don’t believe you can or should be honest. They believe lies are essential–a required element in life.

This has always perplexed me, and I can tell you few people see it like I do.  So when I was reading online the other day and I opened up a link–I was pleasantly surprised at what I read.  I found someone who is only mentioned by his first name, Peter, because he is an angel investor, but what he said was so beautiful to read!

Peter was quoted by Rebekah, who wrote the article, and shared her conversation with Peter about the secret to success.

Rebekah expected Peter to say all the things most people tell you about achieving success–“never give up” to the old cliche slogans on t-shirts, but he didn’t.

What did Peter say was the secret to success?

He said it “…is to never, ever, ever tell a lie”!

Imagine that?

He then went on to say…

“Complete honesty is the access to ultimate power.”

Think about it.

It’s true.

I have always lived by the principle of honesty in my life and it truly has rewarded me over and over again. I honestly can’t think of one negative that has come from being honest.  Not one.

I just love how Peter said it!

Complete honesty does give you power for many reasons. Not aggressive negative power, but positive power. It fills your sails–it propels you forward with self-confidence.  Furthermore, you are upfront with yourself because you have to own up to your failures. You can’t hide them or run from them–sweeping them up or ignore them because you are honest and you will talk about them and acknowledge them.

Instead, by facing your failures–you make changes. You grow and learn, and move on to new and better experiences.  And that gives you more self-confidence.  You begin to believe in yourself more and more, because you are building everything on honesty and integrity.

You also learn that when you admit your failures, people don’t actually judge you nearly as harshly as you thought!  Most people understand we all make mistakes! It’s when people don’t admit to their mistakes that people judge harshly.

Furthermore, when you tell the truth, you aren’t overloaded with managing your lies, and you can focus on what is truly important. You also won’t contradict yourself down the line, or say things that are inconsistent. So many people are inconsistent on a daily basis and have no clue–because they aren’t honest with themselves, let alone other people.

People do catch on to lies–no matter how subtle, and they take notice and just one lie caught can cause people to distrust you. And those lies do hurt you in business and in your personal life.

There really isn’t one positive element to lying.

When you lie, you come across as insincere, fake and not genuine. Who wants to be seen like that?

So next time you talk to someone–pay attention. Are you about to tell a lie?

Do you really have to lie?  Or can you say something else?

I believe you can always be honest, polite and never rude or offending.  The key is to focus on what is true and positive, and take honesty step-by-step.

Give it a try and tell me how it goes. It truly is a beautiful feeling to always be honest, and in the end, it may help you achieve the success you’ve always dreamed about!

Debbie Hawk’s Remains Found

For those of you who have followed me, you may remember the case of Dave and Debbie Hawk.  They were disputing child care costs in a legal dispute when Debbie, then 47, went missing.  She simply vanished, though her blood was found at her home by her young children when Dave dropped them off after a visitation.

Two weeks ago, workers in a field unearthed a body of an unknown female, and detectives immediately wondered if it was Debbie Hawk.

They were correct. It was. Debbie has finally been found.

I analyzed Dave Hawk back in 2007. You can read my analysis here.

I was also interviewed for an article in the Hanford Sentinel in 2010.  You can read the article here.

I am relieved for Debbie Hawk’s family and children as there has to be some comfort in bringing her home.

In 2009, Dave Hawk was convicted of murdering Debbie Hawk.

Facial Expression of the Day/Testimonial

Is that a happy genuine smile or a social smile?

There are marker that identify each. Do you know what they are?

If you don’t, I highly recommend my course, “How to Spot A Liar:  Master Class”   In the course, I teach you how to understand human behavior first and foremost, and then I teach you when behavior is abnormal and indicates deception. Participants from my class tell me they feel like they learned a whole new language after learning my techniques!

For more information, click here.

Here is a video testimonial of the class from Brent Frethey!  Thanks, Brent!

See more video testimonials here, or read Renee’s written testimonials here.

Great 3-day Class in Milwaukee

Milwaukee class March 2016
It’s been an incredible week!   I met some exceptional and amazing people!  After training several thousand law enforcement professionals across the country, I decided to open my training to the public. I set up the course, got registrations and the class kicked off on Monday!  For three days, I talked about human behavior and deception detection in a “master class” at the Milwaukee Hilton Garden Inn.

Participants flew in not only from across the country–New York City, New Jersey, Atlanta, Chicago, San Diego, and Denver–but internationally as well coming from as far away as Auckland, New Zealand, and Quebec, Canada!

Everyone in the class was extremely enthusiastic and motivated to learn, and great friendships were formed! We truly had fun and even dined together over lunch all three days!

Thank you to everyone who came!

My next class has been scheduled:
October 24-26, 2016
Milwaukee Hilton Garden Inn
Mark your calendar