ABC The Bachelor: Clayton, Sarah and Empathy

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If you caught the Bachelor last night, Clayton confronted one of the women on the show–questioning her sincerity to commit to marriage at the end of the season. It was a fascinating moment. When you look for people to trust, you want to see genuine emotions, which Sarah showed. And you also want to see your partner show a compassionate response to your genuine emotions–to know that they are also capable of genuine empathy and compassion, too.  No one wants a partner void of empathy, right? That’s a high risk scenario!

With Clayton last night, he was emotionally stone-faced in response to Sarah’s heart-pouring response to his questions!  I was in awe of it. It was glaring and obvious and jaw-dropping for me.

You can’t be quick jump to the conclusion that because he shows no emotions, he therefore has no empathy. I would want to see other supportive evidence first! Always! There are reasons why people have impairments that don’t mean they are cold-hearted!

Clayton may not have been able to read Sarah and could have been in deep in thought trying to dissect her sincerity. That is absolutely plausible. He does seem to struggle with the ability to read people if you’ve been watching the show. He actually shows somewhat of a handicap in this ability.

Even still, I would still expect some response to her genuine emotional display of sadness and her sincere vulnerability, but Clayton had no emotional (visible) response.  He did express cognitive empathy after the ordeal, and I was glad to see that.

This could come from him having another medical issue such a mild form of autism as well. You need to absolutely consider there may be other causes to his inability to read or express emotion. Is it consistent throughout his other interactions with people?

If I were Sarah, or any of the girls on the show, going forward I would watch his emotional responses closely and see if I can understand his ability to empathize. And if it is reduced, what the reasoning may be for it? He may be able to provide some insight that isn’t public.  Or he could give us a cold response, right?  Wouldn’t you want to know?!

Time for a detective hat!

From the previews of the upcoming episodes, it appears that Clayton tells two women that he was intimate with them in front of each of the women–which again, makes you question him again.  Why on earth would anyone do this?  Is this a lack of empathy or difficulty in understanding the complexity of human relationships? The previews are mind-boggling.

I am always on the lookout for people who show low or no empathy–especially being a highly empathetic person. To be a highly empathetic person in a low or no empathy relationship–that’s painful and difficult at best!

I don’t have answers on Clayton and I may not get them, but I put this out for food for thought. Do you watch people’s interactions with others to see if they are empathetic? It’s actually important to do for your well-being and could even in some cases affect your safety!

My goal in 2022 is to help people understand others who pose risk to lie or cause harm to you. People low on empathy pose risk even if they don’t intention to at times. Understanding one’s ability to empathize is very important. Stay tuned!  I’m going to be bringing my classes into the virtual world this year! Interested? Sign-up to get notified!

Jasmine Hartin on 48 Hours

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If you watched Jasmine’s story on 48 Hours this past week, you saw quite a story!

Known as a partying socialite, Jasmine and her common-law husband, who is the son of the billionaire Michael Ashcroft, met and lived in Belize.

Jasmine tells us of how she dreamed of having an idyllic life in Belize after growing up less fortunate in Canada.

She and Andrew Ashcroft were raising twins in a royal and lavish lifestyle when Jasmine ended up on a dock late at night with a well known and highly regarded top police official, Henry Jemmott, in circumstances that should absolutely raise questions for you.

Henry Jemmott ended up dead with a bullet behind his ear that night.

In the totality of Jasmine’s story, there are are so many red flags, it’s painful. Add to it that she has changed her story. Her first version was she didn’t do it — a boat drove by and the bullet hit him. Later, she owns it and says it was an accident.

And of course there is a gun expert at the end of the 48 Hour show, too. Did he make you second guess yourself?

Jasmine lacks normal emotions throughout her entire recounting of what happened to her yet when you watch her talk about losing her children, it’s amazing, she has real emotions.

The contrast of the two should flag you.

Why does she have emotions about losing her children, but not about the killing of a “friend” Henry Jemmott?

Furthermore, when she talks about going on the pier that night with Henry, she says to him why are you bringing your gun?

This stands out to me notably. Most law enforcement carry a weapon all the time. If she was his friend, she would have known this, right? Why does she make it a notable point here? Is she trying to create a story? A story that isn’t logical?

Why is a women, and mother in a committed relationship on a dock at 12:45 a.m. with another man–drinking no less? And found to have cocaine in her possession, which she won’t admit to it being hers.

Jasmine herself says, “I think a lot of people misjudge me… they don’t see my wholesome side.” That should jump out you. People don’t see the Jasmine that Jasmine wants you to see. Hmmm. Very telling!

Jasmine tries to tell us a senior police official was giving her gun lessons in the dark, on a pier, while drinking at 12:45 a.m. That should jump out at you like a bolt of lightening!

While I know nothing of the Belize police force and their reputation, Jemmott had a good reputation. Is this behavior consistent with her story? It isn’t.

What trained firearms expert is going to give a woman gun lessons in the dark after drinking in the middle of the night? None that I have known.

Most law enforcement I have known have incredible respect for their weapon, and the safety measures they need to take. They also know if they are careless with a gun, it can jeopardize their job in most places (I am not in expert in Belize culture, but I suspect it is the same there–this is a life/death safety issue regardless).

I do not believe Henry Jemmott behaved as reckless as Jasmine is painting him here. His reputation was solid.

Worse, Jasmine’s account of the gun going off and subsequent events seems completely abnormal. She says…

“So, the shot went off and he fell on top of me. And all I could feel was warmth. And I later then realized — he was bleeding on me. I was shaking him. … I didn’t know what to do. … As I’m trying to wiggle my way free to render aid, his body was slipping into the water from the dock.I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if he was dead.”

Her friend was found by police, not on the dock, but in the water. In the water. Is that how you treat a friend you accidentially shot? Come on, Jasmine!

Her statement is loaded with red flags. One after another. Do you see them? I will share more in the comments below in the coming days! Feel free to share the hot spots you saw too. I couldn’t possibly address them them all.

Do I believe Jasmine Hartin’s story? I do not. I do not know what happened that night precisely — that would require further analysis, but I do know it’s NOT what Hartin wants us to believe!!

Fascinating Night on the Bachelorette: Greg Grippo and Katie Thurston

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Last night on the Bachelorette, it was stunning to see a suitor clearly read his love interest with amazing clarity as she leaked her true feelings. Believe it or not, but most people when falling in love, especially in a fantasy scenario such as The Bachelorette, struggle to see the truth before their eyes. It’s so exceptionally rare, I was in awe at Greg Grippo and his ability to read bachelorette Katie Thurston’s in the minute-by-minute interactions last night.

His clarity stands out in the history of the Bachelor and Bachelorette, if you want my opinion.

Greg showed incredible emotional intelligence to manage his own feelings of desire while reading the rejection he was receiving from Kaite as it happened. And to handle it with such grace, just wow!

Most people are blinded by their desires to see the clues before them that their relationship is in trouble. Greg was like a laser. It was amazing!

Katie truly liked Greg. There are no two doubts about it, and she was blindsided by him as well. It was so hard to watch!

I suspect Katie couldn’t grasp what was going on. I think if we were to ask her what she was thinking, she would says that Greg was telling her in one interaction it was over because she didn’t say I love you to him. For her, to have him turn so quickly on a dime, unnerved her to the core. How could he do that if he truly cared about her?

She then, in turn, doubted her ability to read and understand everyone at that point. How could he do this to her? You can certainly understand that!

As I understand Greg’s response as well.

What Katie failed to see what her response was very clear. While she liked Greg–even a lot –possibly even falling in love with him, she didn’t have the response you would expect from someone who is choosing YOU to be her final suitor. She clearly had not and Greg picked up on it!

She didn’t have to utter a word. She simply had to show her pleased affection to him to reassure him, which she completely failed to do.

When the man you truly love confesses his love to you — you can’t help but glow and light up. Katie didn’t and Greg saw it. She remained guarded and emotionally detached. And she while her behaviors didn’t support that she chose Greg with certainty, her emotions were affected by what I suspect was Botox!

Which made it all the more crazy!

I think Katie has had Botox and it has frozen her eyebrows. And add to the fact that Greg is laser good at reading people, and when Katie cried, it looked fake! It really did but IT WASN’T FAKE. The Botox locked her face which complicated everything further. She without knowing it destroyed his ability to connect with her due to a wrinkle injection!

Like ouch!!

Botox can also stunt the emotions one is feeling as well. Talk about a nightmare!

It was like she poisoned herself to any true connection with Greg literally! I can’t help but wonder if she showed real sadness in her face and wasn’t frozen from Botox, would he have sensed it and softened? It’s possible.

I think for Katie, she has been torn between Greg and Blake for a while now, and was down to making her final decisions. I suspect she leaned slightly towards Blake at times and other times towards Greg. And when Greg confessed his love, I think what happened to Katie is she saw how hard rejecting him at the final rose ceremony could be and it scared her. It caused her to freeze. She didn’t want to hurt anyone.

All of this combined, she may have even second guessed everything, and found herself in an emotionally dizzying scenario, where she, too, couldn’t get on her feet.

It was a mind-blowing episode, frankly!

Summer Wells Parents Speak Out

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Summer Wells mom, Candus Bly, spoke out for the first time since her 5-year old daughter disappeared on June 15th –two weeks ago.

The first thing I want to ask her is why haven’t you spoken out before now?

Granted, I know her father has, but why hasn’t she? What took her two weeks?

You might wonder if it was because she was overwhelmed emotionally that she couldn’t, right? I could give her that. But to support that (if that is the case, I am suppositioning now), I would expect to see her expressing those emotions now, and we don’t!

It’s highly notable how flat-lined and unemotional both parents are! They are so relaxed and unstressed, I’m stunned actually! Are they on meds? Are there any meds that would knock out all emotions?

I am also shocked that there is no urgency, no pleas for her daughter’s return or asking people to help. They don’t seem to have any stress or worry this is an URGENT concern, do they?

They don’t do anything to help other people recognize her or bring her back either. They don’t describe what she was last wearing or anything. It’s mind blowing!

You’d think they were talking about a family picnic they had–not their missing 5-year old daughter!

Instead, they seem resigned and accepting that someone took her and there is nothing that can be done. This is not normal.

They should be holding up flyers, photos and keeping her face in the news! They should feel this is an urgent matter. They should be stressed, worried, concerned or sad — give me any negative emotion of loss! They don’t. It’s highly concerning.

Furthermore, Candus is telling us that her daughter was only out of her sight for a few minutes, right? So how far could the little girl have gone?

“…[Summer] wanted to go back over and see her brothers, and I said, ‘OK,’ and I walked her all the way over to the porch, and I watched her walking into the kitchen where the boys were watching TV. I told the boys, I said, ‘Watch Summer; I’ll be back.’ And within two minutes, I came back, and I asked the boys where their sister was, and they said, ‘She went downstairs, Mom, to play with her toys in the playroom.’ I said, ‘OK.’ And I yelled downstairs for her a couple times, and I didn’t get no answer, which was unusual because usually she always answers me. And so, I went down there to check, and she was nowhere in sight” (source).

So within what appears to be maybe 5 minutes, this little 5-year old disappear off the face of the earth and they couldn’t find her.

If you look at a map of their address, the child home is on a pretty secluded property where it would take her more than a few minutes to make it to the busy road.

More unusual is that both parents seem to believe they know what happened to their daughter, which doesn’t bode well to me. Most parents of a missing child do not want to make guesses about what happened to their child because they want EVERY avenue explored.

These parents are set on someone taking or luring their child, which seems very unlikely.

The odds of a stranger luring her is extremely low given the nature of their property, the distance from the road, the fact it is daylight, the short time frame the mom describes Summer being alone, the fact there was a dog in photos who I suspect lives at the property who would likely alert to a predator, and the fact a 5-year old isn’t talking online in forums to get someone to “lure” her from home as a teenager might be.

The odds are extremely low someone would (a) hang out in the bushes just hoping for the right time during the daylight, (b) see people active and about, and assume they could get her alone.

I’m not buying that theory at all and why are the parents?

When I see the creek in the back yard, as a adult with a missing 5-year old, I would worry about that first and foremost. Did she fall into the creek? Do they ever talk about it? Worry about it?

The father talks in one video about bears in the area, but they didn’t worry about the bears either? They only assumed a stranger kidnapped her in broad daylight while they were home. It defies logic.

Furthermore, they want to thank people in the video. Thank them for searching. Most parents of missing children don’t thank anyone until their child is home safe. The fact that they do doesn’t sit well with me.

They aren’t being forthright with us, if you want my opinion. Too many hot spots on this one sadly. I feel for Summer and hope she defies the odds and is somehow okay. Not believing the parents doesn’t mean they killed her, of course, but it can’t be ruled out.

Disaster Girl and Josh Duggar Facial Expressions

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Disaster girl is what they called her! Look at that expression she is making in the video freeze above (or in the meme on the web)!! If that expression doesn’t wake up your spidey senses–I suspect nothing will! She should send your alarm bells ringing and put you on high alert with concern when you see that expression given the context!

Her expression is what I would call sublime: “Sublime experience has been defined as a mix of emotions – arousal, pleasure, and vitality – together with feelings of awe in nature, which is perceived as powerful, vast, and complex (source).”

If you don’t know, the fire in the photo/video above was actually a control burn, so while she enjoyed it immensely and perhaps had a fire fascination, there was nothing sinister there. However, not knowing the context of that photo made it down right creepy, right?

I think a sublime expression can easily become a sadistic expression with context. It’s what gave this photo that evil feeling the first time you saw it!

If she knew this house was a real uncontrolled fire, and made that expression, you’d (hopefully) get the feeling of danger, alert or alarm. Things may not be as they seem!! Take notice!!

This expression is a very uncommon expression for us to see — and along with the sadistic feeling– is why it probably made this littler girl made a good deal of money with the context! She made nearly $500K for it as it became very popular in internet memes.

But in rare fashion, it was just recently that I saw this expression again. Josh Duggar also made it when he was arrested for possessing and receiving photos of depicting sexual abuse of children.

Here is Josh’s arrest photo:

FAYETTEVILLE, AR - APRIL 29: In this handout photo provided by the Washington County Sheriff’s Office, former television personality on

Is he getting some sick perverse joy out of his arrest? I would call this a sublime expression as well. Why on earth would you feel that when you get arrested? I haven’t figured that one out!

While we don’t know the cause of this expression here, the idea of what he did and what he is being arrested for — makes you squirm. It makes the photo feel sadistic in nature, doesn’t it? But without knowing the context here, exactly, we can’t truly say. Something else may have made him feel this way which could make it benign. Without context the source of the emotion is unknown. But still, a fascinating and creepy expression, nonetheless, wouldn’t you say?

Next time you see a sublime expression–feel free to send it to me! They are rare!