Did you catch Dateline this past weekend?   They profiled the story of Jennifer and Ganesh Ramsaran.  Jennifer went missing two weeks before Christmas in 2012.  Her body was found several months later along side the road.

I remember when this case was active and Ganesh was talking to the media. I found his interviews very challenging to review.  In one review, I wrote, “I see nothing positive or negative in this video upon which to draw conclusions outside of his “happy demeanor” which is odd.”  And another video I didn’t see any flags. I wasn’t comfortable saying I trusted him or distrusted him. I remained neutral on the sideline.  He was definitely a hard read in those media interviews he did, and I think he was challenging on Dateline, too.

Dateline gave us more footage of Ganesh, and I now have a strong opinion having watched him.

Before I share it with you, what did you think when you watched Ganesh?

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Wherever you go in life, you are being watched by people whether you are aware of it or not. Most people are harmless, but statistics show us not all people are. Do you pay attention to your surroundings when you are out and about?  Or do you only do it when you are alone? When I walk on the street in some of the cities I train, I am amazed at how many people send off an unconscious message that they are a good target, if someone has bad intentions.

How do you send off a message that you are a good target?  There are hundreds of ways I can think of, and I couldn’t possibly explain them all to you, but most boil down to appearing soft: distracted, unsure, not confident, showing fear, unaware of one’s surroundings, talking on cell phone, reading a tablet, listening to iPod, staring at the ground or not orienting yourself to the movement around you for a period of time.  You get the idea.

When you are out in a public place, it is important to convey the message you are rock solid and confident, and aware of your surroundings. Never appear lost. If you are, step off the street and into a quiet business where you can ask a friendly looking clerk where to go.  Don’t stand out in the open and query people on the street. You are giving them free information and an invitation!

When I am alone and in an unfamiliar place, I also put on my game face.  I put my shoulder back, lock my purse lightly under my arm and body, stand tall and walk with purpose.  And I have a purpose! Touch me and I’ll draw more attention to me than you’ve seen in 10 years!  I guarantee you I will be screaming FIRE at the top of my lungs (thanks JJ Bittenbinder), and I want anyone who has bad intentions to see that, too. I am not a soft target!  Alert! Alert!   Be on notice, Mister!

I often will do a 360 when walking or I will look over my shoulder to survey who is behind me.  I will acknowledge with glances who is nearby and if I see someone threatening, I will either stop, pause and let them walk by, or I will stop in at a business for a minute to get in a better position behind the suspicious person!

I take notice of alleyways and recessed entrances, and if I am alone, I won’t walk close to those. I will purposefully position myself toward the center of openness. And if my gut screams that someone walking towards me looks ominous, I will trust it. I will cross the street, if possible or again, stop into a business for a second.  I trust my gut instinct implicitly.

Many times I walk, however, I don’t spot anyone who has any intention to do harm, but I do see it from time-to-time and more than most people.

And I have spotted quite a few people over the years  looking to target soft people in my presence. I have watched pick-pocketers try to hone in on my friends and family, and people I fear had the intent to cause havoc of some sort.  More often than not when I see it, I will say, “Hey stop a minute” to the people I am with, corral them with my arm to position their backs to a wall, and then look the would-be troublemaker in the eye and politely say “Go ahead” as in find your next target–this game’s over!  And when I debriefed the people I have been with, none of them saw what I saw, hence that is why they were a “soft target”.  And I am most amazed that 90% of the time the people in my company did not even notice my dramatic change in my behavior when I noticed someone sizing them up!  I often will do a 360, start glancing backwards more, or even start walking sideways to keep an eye on the situation as I continue my conversation in which I often get distracted and can’t continue.  That’s most surprising to me.

We can never be guaranteed we won’t be a victim, but we certainly can take steps to lower the odds. What steps do you take?