Expression of the Day

BITTER

What can you conclusively conclude from this photo?

Man Wakes Up From Surgery: Doesn’t Recognize Wife

This is quite the fascinating video to watch in the study of human behavior. Here we have a husband waking up from hernia surgery (his 5th one!) and he doesn’t seem to recognize his wife.

When I first watched it, I didn’t buy it.  I see him hold back a smile and not very good–shortly into the video. I then watched the couple talk about this video on a morning talk show and they seemed genuine.

It took me some time to process everything I saw, but I think I can finally articulate what happened.

I suspect when Jason woke up from surgery, he was totally out of it. That’s normal.  If you’ve had surgery, you know the fog you wake up into. According to his doctor it is possible not to recognize people, but that is very, very rare.

What does happen in surgery, at least for me, and he seems to experience it, too, is a whole new perspective, albeit very short-lived.  I don’t know whether it is from the drugs or being knocked out, but what happens is your “perception of what’s before you” is cleaned, and you see things from an unattached (unemotional) perspective, if that makes sense.

I attributed it to the fact I was in pain, and my emotions about things around me were muted to cope with the pain (my body was in survival mode), and hence when I looked around, I didn’t see things through my normal emotional (biased) lens.  I simply saw them for what they were.  Hence, Jason doesn’t see his wife “as his wife” — he simply sees her as “a beautiful woman”–what she is at her basic core.

Does that make sense?

This is very short-lived, if you’ve experienced it. It goes away a day after surgery.

Jason may have looked at her in a groggy state and not recognized her for an instant, but decided to have fun with it once he put two and two together which was pretty quickly. Then I suspect he had fun with it and flattered his wife, because he was seeing her beauty through a  totally different lens.

Jason, if you want my opinion, is a natural born comedian type who loves to play jokes on people, and he clearly enjoys making his wife feel good. I think he was aware of who she was, but he played up on it and had fun with it. It’s completely consistent with his personality.

And when he tells us now that he doesn’t remember it–it totally fits with after surgery experiences. He may not remember it, but he likely was aware of who she was and had fun making her feel like super important in the moment.  And his wife captured that moment.  What’s the harm in that?

Diana Nyad Talks

There is controversy swirling around Diana Nyad–did she do the swim from Cuba to Key West unaided? That’s the question.

In watching this video, I can honestly say that I am neutral after watching it. I don’t see anything that makes me believe her in this video and I don’t see anything that outright makes me think she is lying.

I do see oddities, but they are just that–oddities.  For example, she says, “I swam–we made it–our team from the rocks of Cuba to the beach in Florida at squeaky-clean ethical fashion.”

Her wording is usual — hence it is odd, and simply that.

I don’t hear her deny any cheating.  She may believe what she did was ethical, but that wouldn’t necessarily make it so.  Do you follow me?

Nyad talks about making her data available.  Why have they waited so long to do this?  This concerns me, but it is only a concern.

Toward the end of the video, she gives me confidence to believe her, but with the oddities above, I remain neutral.

Sometimes I need more to make a final opinion and this is one of them.

I was initially troubled by the fact she supposedly went 7.5 hours with no water or food when her body was in a high-risk dehydration situation and a calorie deficit.   I cannot fathom how one could do that, but I am not a scientist to know the limits of the body.  I also found her to be very ego-centric, which is always a concern for me.

Drunk Driver Confesses: “I killed a man”

This video has been sent to me a couple of times because people are curious if this is a sincere.  Several of you have doubted it.

I absolutely do believe this is sincere. Matthew Cordle does express subtle sadness that is supportive of what he is saying, and I do believe he wants to do the right thing by confessing.  While he doesn’t express intense sadness in this video, I wouldn’t expect it.  He is trying to share an important message:  If you drink and drive, this could happen to you.

Some people have questioned Cordle’s motives coming out with a professional video like this –to possibly get a lighter sentence.

If someone is looking to get off for something they’ve done or to get leniency, there are much better ways to go about it than to take full ownership in the public eye.

Does Cordle want a lighter sentence?  Of course!

Who wouldn’t when they made a huge mistake as Cordle did?  That is human.

Others suggest Cordle wants notoriety. I’m sorry but I don’t think anyone wants to be known as a drunk driver that killed someone.  Anyone want that fame?

As a people we all crave the truth and people who take responsibility for what they have done –especially when it is wrong and causes a man to be killed.  And Cordle is doing that. He also takes it a step further to use his mistake in an effort to help others. If he prevents one other death, he will make a huge difference.  He won’t fix the wrong, but he is making an attempt to do better by others.

We cannot ask for anything more than that.

Here is an article I saw this morning online, where Matthew’s ex-wife also concurs that she believes he is being sincere, and Matthew’s attorney also says he had no idea that Matthew was going to do this.

I say thank you to Matthew for admitting his mistake, for taking ownership for what he did wrong and for trying to get the message out there that this could happen to anyone.  If you drink and drive, you could be Matthew, too.

Please don’t drink and drive.

Lexington, Kentucky — Two Day Course

I just returned home from teaching my two day course in Lexington, Kentucky, to a great group of law enforcement officers. It was my first all male class!  They were a great group of gentlemen–very kind, respectful and I really enjoyed teaching the class!  Thank you for your great hospitality!  If you read this, thanks for coming!  I really enjoyed the class!

Here are a couple of photos of my return into Chicago…  Enjoy.  Happy Labor Day Weekend!