Photo by fd on Flickr–click for more info on the photographer.

If you are a guy and you are watching Jodi Arias on the stand, there is a good chance you’ve shuddered and thought, could this have been me?  Could I have fallen for Jodi and could I have been her next victim? 

Most people would agree that Jodi Arias is not a threatening person, or a person that would evoked fear in people prior to her trial–especially to men who are bigger and stronger than she is.  As you can now see in hindsight–how wrong your thinking would be!

So how do you then protect yourself from falling victim like Travis did to a woman who appears so meek as Jodi did?  Were there warning signs?

Absolutely.  If you were my brother, or son, (or daughter or sister) I’d tell you this…

Psychopathic people tend to cross personal boundaries very quickly.  They will fall “in love” almost overnight. They will commit themselves to a person very quickly.  They will profess love for another way sooner than the average person and they will shower their object of affection with an abnormal amount of attention very quickly.  They will tell you that you are the one long before most other people would do so naturally. Take heed!

Another warming sign is that the harness the power of their sexuality.  Psychopaths have a lot less fear than the average person and are not shy about sex or their bodies, and find great joy in using their sexuality as a tool.   You won’t know it as first, but if they are sexually very open and willing to do things most other wouldn’t, show no inhibitions and are willing to get sexual faster than most people — bells should go off. It’s a red flag. Sure they will tell you that you are different and special, and they don’t normally do this, but be careful. It’s another trait of a psychopath.

Once they get you in bed, one thing is for sure–they will fulfill your every fantasy–not because they want you, but because they want you to be vulnerable and wanting more.  Sex is a desire they play on to manipulate and control a person, and they will continue to meet your fantasies in an effort to gain more and more control.  They lure you with visions and fantasies and experience of sex from your wildest dreams!  Remember, they have no inhibitions!  For a woman psychopath, this is easy to do as men are vulnerable in this arena and they know it.  I’ve seen it time and time again.

I don’t doubt that Travis was transfixed on Jodi for this reason and he had a hard time pulling away–even when he saw her diabolical side because it was very hard to walk away from his fantasies (who would ever do this again?), and you can bet Jodi knew this and used it as one of her most powerful tools. When someone starts using sex to get things or to control you — that is dangerous territory.

I have no doubt that Jodi used her sexuality as the ultimate tool against Travis, and he had no idea until he was in way too deep.  Granted, these manipulators start small.  They may start out offering sexual gratification in return for something small such as a gift they want, or a dinner out, or getting their way. That’s your first clue to BOLT!  But they will continue to escalate it for more and more control.

And when they feel they are losing control, they will amp up your sexual fantasies and pleasure to keep you coming back.  Don’t ever convince yourself this is just a physical relationship.  I think that is what Travis did, and that belief is what ultimately lead to his demise.

The more control Jodi got over Travis using sex, the more she wanted to manipulate him, and the more she believed she could manipulate him. For her it was never about the sex–it was all about the control and when she felt she lost control, and she did all this sexual pleasing of Travis for not–she let it out in a fit of rage on him –making him pay the ultimate price for what she believed was the ultimate betrayal.  She gave and he did not.  That ended it.

While people think lying is harmless, it actually says a lot about a person’s character.  I can assure you Travis was well aware of how Jodi lied and it may have been something he disliked as time when on.  When someone tells you who they are– that they are willing to lie to others for their own gain — take it as a clue that no one is important to a person like this — not even you, even if you are the center of their universe and they confess their dirty lies to you.  Take it as a huge beacon in the night to run and take cover!  Quickly.

In the end, Jodi used Travis’ fantasies to lure him to his death. She lured him into the shower on the turn-on of taking provocative photos.  Then she got him to turn around and show her his back and that is when she inflicted the ultimate betrayal on Travis as she started stabbing him as he stood defenseless, and naked in the shower.