John Ramsey Speaks Out About JonBenet

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John Ramsey is out on the media circuit selling a new book that he wrote about his suffering and journey to healing after the murder of his daughter 15 years ago.  I saw him first on Anderson Cooper’s show.

I can only say “WOW“.  Every single thing this man did and said in this interview does not fit with a victim of a horrific crime, if you ask me, and everywhere I go, I see this man dropping red flags like rain drops coming from the sky.

It’s jaw dropping for me. Literally.

Yes, the Ramseys were cleared by a prosecutor in 2008, though I don’t quite know how you can legitimately clear someone when you can’t solve the crime.  It makes no sense to me, but prosecutors have the power to do such things.

When John talks on the Andersen show, I am immediately pinged by his lack of emotions. He is as dead as a doornail.  There is no fear, anger, sadness, surprise–nothing negative whatsoever when he talks about finding his daughter, seeing her dead, etc.  Yet we see the contrast of another guest later on in the Andersen show who lost her son more than 10 years before John.  This woman shows us what natural emotional memory recall looks like.  The comparison is stark.

John’s emotions stand out, without question.

I also find it very odd that John recalls the first police officer coming to the door and saying, “Do you think she could have run away?”  John’s answer is startling.  Listen to him.

He says, “No, she’s only six-years old. It’s ridiculous.”

What???!!

If you had a ransom note, would you ever think about your child running away?  Hell no you wouldn’t!!  You would never even entertain it.  You’d be like “Look at this ransom note!!!  We know she didn’t run away for certain–there is no question. A six-year old can’t write a ransom note like this!!!”

Yet Ramsey doesn’t recall anything like this.  He seems to actually entertain for a minute in this interview that this could have been plausible because all he can say is ‘she’s only six years old’ –as if six-year olds can’t run away, which is nonsense by itself.

It’s a huge red flag that what his experience was and what he is telling us are two different things–or this conversation would have stuck out in his mind as forever absurd! It also would put most parents on edge with regards to the competence of the arriving police, but not John.

I wonder if a cop even said that (which is plausible), or is this is just John conjecturing now?  I wonder if he ever said this before..if it has been documented.  I’d be so curious to know.

Later in the interview, John talks about the police asking him to go through the house to see if there was anything unusual, and that’s when he found JonBenet dead.  Wouldn’t you think if your daughter was missing that this would have been the first thing you did–go through the house to see how the killer got in, what he might have taken or left behind to help you find your daughter? Or wouldn’t it have been the first thing you ask police to do — to secure the residence with you?

Wouldn’t you worry if your house was safe for your wife and son?  Wouldn’t you have been seriously concerned for your safety?

Why wasn’t John?

The fact that John never searched the house at this point stands out to me as very peculiar. Would you have to be told to search for anything unusual, or would you have done it yourself if you believed your daughter was kidnapped and that finding evidence could help you get her back?

John also goes on to describes finding his daughter “a relief and a horror” at the same time.  Does this make any sense to you?

What would the relief be in finding your dead daughter? I would love to ask him!

Now imagine you know what happened to your daughter and you know she is lying downstairs dead, would it be a relief when she was finally discovered?  It absolutely would be.

John, however, wants us to believe that not knowing where his daughter was for 5 or 6 hours was enough time for him to get relief in getting his dead daughter back.  That’s utterly ridiculous!

Parents of missing and kidnapped children hold out high hope that their child will be found alive and do not get relief when the child is found dead.  They feel horrified they didn’t do enough fast enough to avert the horrific nightmare.

John’s words here are simply alarming to me.

I also found an article in the Detroit Free Press where they quote John about his new book, and he continues to flag me there as well.

In this interview, Ramsey says that he and his wife were prepared to go to jail.  Would you ever be prepared to go to jail if you were innocent?

The Detroit Free Press articles quotes John:

“Patsy joked, ‘Can I have stripes that run vertical? Horizontal are going to make me look fat,’ ” he says.

If you were looking at serving time for something you didn’t commit, and the police were woefully wrong, would you ever joke about this?  Especially if a killer would be running around at large while you sat in jail and could possibly kill your son???

I don’t think so.

You’d be scared stiff!

If however, you were involved, might you joke?  What else could you do?

John also says, “Everybody has a burden, and I wanted to tell people it doesn’t last forever. There is light at the end of the tunnel.”

A burden?

Really?????

I would have loved to asked Ramsey, what was his burden?

I thought he was a victim.

This man has been fishy from day one, and he still smells like a rotting fish, if you ask me.  I do not believe John Ramsey’s version of what happened and never have…and I find it disturbing he wants to profit off of this horrific nightmare.

He should be donating the money to investigators to help bring the real killer to justice, but perhaps that would bring people too close to home.
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Passion, Truthfulness and Dr. Sanjay Gupta

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Dr. Sanjay Gupta was on the Anderson show yesterday. I absolutely love Dr. Gupta.  Why?  Because he is passionate about what he does! 

Passionate people are usually top in their field.  They are the best at their game because they love it so. 

True passion is contagious, too. Have you ever noticed when you speak to someone who is passionate, its almost a guarantee you will away walk enthused–regardless of what you talk about?  It’s true!

But more than that — passionate people are usually very honest people when comes to their topic of passion.

Most people think that Dr. Gutpa is a TV doctor who doesn’t practice much medicine anymore, but nothing could be further from the truth.  Andersen said that his staff often calls him to be a guest on the show, but Dr. Gupta declines because he has to do surgery–brain surgery.

Andersen joked at how important he was to Dr. Gupta and Dr. Gupta even said if he had to choose between being on TV or doing surgeries — surgeries and medical care wins hands down. 

It’s not that he doesn’t like TV, he just loves his job that much. He went on to say that his mother gave him the best advice. She told him “if you do what you love, you never have to work another day in your life.”

How true is that?

Dr. Gupta tweeted that statement today and appended to it–“the best advice ever!”

So true.

When you are looking for an expert in anything — the one that is most likely to be honest with you is the one who is passionate. The more passionate — the more likely they are to to get the truth–hands down.

It’s one of the things I look for when I want an expert.  I look for passion!

And that applied to the specialist/surgeon I met on Tuesday. I wanted a man who was passionate.  While his paper resume spoke to the likelihood he was passionate because he was highly regarded by his peers and his patients and won many awards for both, and for his research, I still could have run into a burnt out man. But thankfully, I didn’t.

I found exactly what I set out to find —  a passionate person!!

My doctor on Tuesday has been practicing medicine for 36 years, and when we sat down to talk to me about the most boring things in the world–tumors–he was full of energy, enthusiasm and excitement.

Yes, excitement!

I was actually blown away because I certainly don’t get excited about tumors, anatomy and how to treat them.  No siree, but by the time I left, he had me invigorated!  I had a jump in my step. I was confident. I was assured because he was both of those as well.

Isn’t passion great?

My doctor enjoyed talking to me for a full two hours because he loves what he does. He loves the body, how it works and how it all interrelates.He told me how he loves surgery, to which I replied he was one strange duck — but a duck I was glad to know!

How our bodies worked and how he could fix them was the most fascinating thing in the world to him –and if a surgeon who loves to do surgeries more than anything in this world told me I don’t need surgery — I have a 10 fold belief in him he knows what he’s doing because his favorite time is in the OR.

He is so good, I am sure he is booked solid with surgeries and sees no reason to add another case that isn’t necessary.  See why passion and honesty go hand-in-hand?

In our discussions, I almost had to fight to get a word in edgewise because he loved talking about it all so much.  He loved educating me–though he did make 100% sure that he went back to answer every one of my questions.

It’s people like this who are on top of their game, who are dedicated to being the best they can be, who love what they do — who will be the most truthful to you, without question.  Because they love what they do, people flock to them like bees to honey, and they don’t have to seek out what they love to do–it comes to them in droves.  So they’ll tell you the truth, every time, without question!

I hope this helps you one day.

Update

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Stockholm At Night Wine Bar

I want to thank everyone for your wonderful encouragement and support during my medical dilemma.

I’m exhausted after a long day, but I wanted to give a quick update.  I met with the University of Chicago specialist/surgeon today, and he was everything I had hoped for!  He actually sat and chatted with me and my husband for two full hours in a tiny conference room much like what is picture above.

When he sat down, he said, “Do you want surgery?” 

I said, “No, not if I don’t need it.” 

He said, “Are you afraid you have cancer?”  

I said, “No, not now [because of all my reading], but I’m worried about the potential due to my family history.”

He said if you had cancer by the size of your tumors, you’d be dead!”.  We laughed.  That seemed logical. 

He continued, “I see no reason why you would need surgery at this point unless your symptoms are bothering you.  I am here to explain all of your options, so you understand them.  It is not my place to decide what is right for you.  That is your decision.”

And in those two hours he answered every question and concern I had, and taught me all he could.  He offered me options and told me that delaying any surgery was probably my best bet because if we intervened now, with no medically necessary reason, I stood a good chance at having the tumors regrow and re-offend me again, so he saw no point in rushing things at this point.  He thinks its better I wait until I feel I have no other option because the time delay could prevent me from other surgeries.  And he saw no reason to radical alter my body at all, unless it was the option I wanted!

He explained that I have a 75% probability that I will get uncomfortable due to the tumors and will want intervention, but I also have a 25% chance things will stay as they are and never bother me further.   Plus as time goes by, different options may develop because in the last 5 years advanced have been sizable.

My blood pressure was 159/84 when I got there, and I know it was a lot higher most of the week.  I was so stressed out and now I feel like the stress of world fell off of me.  My normal blood pressure is 100/70 and it should be returning, if it hasn’t already!  I can think clearly again!!!

I may not be out of the woods yet, but I am certainly not where the last doctor wanted me to believe I was– at cancer’s door knocking.   She was flat reckless and irresponsible.

I share this with all of you in hopes that it will give you the courage, the strength and the fortitude to question people you meet in life. Just because someone is an expert, it doesn’t mean they know best.  A good expert will always educate you first and then guide you and let you make the ultimate decision about what is right for you!  That’s always the sign of a top-notch expert in their field.

I’m happy, healthy and feel so blessed to have met this doctor today!

Thanks again for all of your support!!!  And thanks to Mr. Eyes, he is simply the best.

P.S. He also told me that my radiological tests were so poorly done, they were of no use to him!  They were junk!!!  That was a surprise!!  Not.

Seeing the Doctor

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Doctor Hand

I recently went to the doctor for a checkup and explained some of my concerns to my doctor.  I have been having some issues over the past few years, and do keep a regular check on my health because my grandmother likely had something similar.  She died at the age of 51.  We know she had cancer, but we just don’t know which one. We just know the region of origin.

My doctor came highly recommended to me by a handful of medical doctors I have seen over the years. She is intelligent, smart, witty and seems very knowledgeable. She is also given decent reviews by patients, so I felt like I was in good hands.

I’ve been unfortunately cursed with some benign tumors and they continue to grow slowly (which is not abnormal for the tumor type) so I keep getting them looked at to make sure they don’t turn into cancer.  The risk is very, very remote– but I also need to watch to make sure nothing else develops, either.

During my last visit, my doctor suddenly said we should remove them and a whole lot more!  She got me really scared by her words.  Her exact words were that they were growing too fast, and she was “concerned….very concerned.” Naturally, we had talked about my grandmother and her cancer again — so it was clear she was telling me she was concerned about cancer.  And her recommended?  Radical surgery immediately.

I walked out of the office stunned. I didn’t see that coming at all. It even took me a few minutes to understand what she was saying because she didn’t come right out and say it until I laid it on the table–“Is this what you are saying?”  She confirmed.

I was blind-sided and scared and freaked out. It didn’t help that after I left her office, I went out into the middle of a snowstorm, where the roads were slick and my nervous hands struggled to keep my car on the road.

And the power died as soon as I got home for 4 hours so I couldn’t do any research to understand more about what was going on.

At first, in my emotional fear, I believed her. Emotions are our biggest cloud to seeing the truth there is–for all human beings–and I am no exception.

As I calmed down over the evening, and I started thinking, by morning I could verbalize the holes in her approach.  She was telling me she was very concerned because my tumors had grown, and fast growing tumors could be cancer, but if I wanted a second opinion (which I told her I did), she told me to see this conservative doctor who would probably make a different recommendation all together because of his beliefs.

I realized if she truly believed I was on the cancer track as she so scared me, would she believe another doctor would take a different approach? A doctor who believed in Western medicine like herself?  That didn’t make sense to me because I wasn’t arguing with her, disagreeing or asking for any form of alternative treatments. It would be one thing if I wanted to see an Eastern medicine specialist, but I wasn’t.

She also never said to me, “I’m very concerned this could be cancer.”   She never outright said it.  She stopped short. She connected things by reference, but never actually said it.  This bothered me. She never gave me statistical probabilities, either.  That bothered me.

I have read up on vast amounts of literature the past few weeks and found she left out a lot of information/options/procedures/risk factors, and if I simply trusted what she told me, I would have been woefully mislead.  Her end diagnosis may be where I end up, but she didn’t take the prudent steps to ensure it was the right decision.

I’ve found out by ordering my medical records from her office that my tumors have not grown fast at all. They’ve actually slowed in their growth rate!!  The day I left her office in a panic, I asked her how many tumors I had now, because she said I had more than the last time.  She told me, “More than 5 — they stopped counting!”  My records show ONLY 3, with a possible forth.  And one could be 2, but there was no mention of five definitely, or that they stopped counting. This was another blatant lie!
 
I also discovered in her medical record of my visit that there was no mention of cancer whatsoever, or any concerns.  What she did was write down her notes as if I came in complaining and wanted a “solution”–and so she offered me options.  I couldn’t believe it.  Why do I still get surprised?  What she did was write down my concerns, but she took great liberty in grossly misrepresented them –making them much worse than what I said they were, which gives her the justification for recommending the surgery.  So what we discussed and what she actually wrote down were two entirely different conversations.

Also, during my exam, as we chatted, she asked me what I was up to lately and I told her about my training for law enforcement.  Guess what she wrote on her report?  That I worked for the FBI.  I never said that and you all know I do not work as a employee of the FBI.  Another inaccurate piece of information.  Her medical records hit me as “cover-your-ass” paperwork because it had nothing about our real visit in it!

In her report, she wrote about how she offered me all these different treatment options–for which she offered only 2 — and lied about one of the two.  She told me of two surgeries that were available, and only guided me towards one saying the other could not be done completely (where tumors would remain)–which is an outright lie!! It could be done completely and curatively but differently than she told me.  It would take a specialist surgeon to do it, however, and it wouldn’t be her! I don’t believe she had the skill.  She also wrote that she advised me of all the risks — which she advised me of none!

I can see if I took her to court (which I have no intention), I’d like look the nut job by her records. 

It was a very stressful and disappointing experience to say the least.

I went ahead and scheduled a consultation with a top-notch surgeon and expert in the area of my concern tomorrow at the University of Chicago.

I’m really nervous and scared because I don’t know where it is all going to go, but I need good and trustworthy answers.  This doctor has been given award after award and is highly regarded nationally, but this time, I’m well read, educated and ready to ask him 1000 questions, if need be.  No one is going to mislead me when it comes to my health!  I know all the potentials where this could go and I’m ready to get trustworthy answers. I want to know which option is best for me, and WHY.

If I don’t post for a few days, please understand why.  I’m going through a lot right now.

Who is Anderson’s Cousin? The Clues

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The Clues I Saw:

When I watched Anderson talk about his 5th cousin once removed, as soon as they showed them, I looked to see who looked like Anderson. The woman in the middle clearly did, and even though that wasn’t anything concrete because the distance of their relationship, it was a consideration.  The middle woman had fair skin and a similarly shaped face to Anderson.  She also had his demeanor.

Anderson continued, “Each [woman is] wearing a t-shirt that says I’m Anderson’s cousin.” 

I immediately honed into the middle woman again because her behavior made sense.  She struggled to keep eye contact and while that is not the clue (lack of eye contact), it made sense and here is why:

Imagine that you are the cousin and Anderson has to guess who you are.  The last thing you want to do on national TV is blow your cover and make it easy on Andersen, right?  I mean if you did that, you’d feel like a totally fool!  So, with that, what are you going to do?  You are not going to be like “Pick me!  Pick me!  Like woman number one.  Heck no!  You are going to be more reserved and less obvious because the last thing you want to do is ruin the game on national TV.

I would also expect Anderson’s cousin to be nervous because of what I just stated above.  Number 2 certainly fits that as well.

When Anderson asks, “How long have your ancestors been in the U.S.?”  woman number one thinks first.  She says, “Hmmm….”  That was a red flag for me.  When she says 1884, she squints her eyes almost in a critical gesture of “Are you buying it?”. That doesn’t fit.

Number two says, “Early 1600s.”  She says it in a very controlled manner.  She also swings her leg that shows she’s nervous and nervous here makes sense.  Because if it is her, she has the most to lose if she blows her cover!

Number three is neutral to me.  She could go either way at this point, though I am leaning toward the middle one.

When Anderson asks, “Do any of your ancestors come from the south?” the first woman blows it big time on multiple fronts.  She says, “Yes, funny you should ask….uh, North Carolina.”  The “funny you should ask” stands out as odd to me, but when she hesitates with “uh” and then says North Carolina in the tone of a question–its a dead give away she’s lying.

Number two is playing it coy again.  She simply says, “Yes they do.”  That make sense and is another point for her. Number three is still into play as well, but my gut says no at this point.

Remember this is not a high-stake scenario so it is much more difficult to call, without question.  There is no pressure on the two liars in all reality.

Anderson called it correct when he said, “It makes me believe the open one is lying.”    For the reasons I stated above, this is true!

When Anderson talks about going prematurely gray, the first one is clearly thinking on her feet as she answers about big blue eyes.  When number two answers, she is calm as a cucumber this time.  She’s gained her footing!  Her answer flows and feels sincere to me.

As they keep talking about which one it is–look who is breathing the hardest–its number two!!  And who would be the most nervous–Anderson’s cousin.

The woman with the most points –whose behavior and words match who she is supposed to be — is number two!

I hope you enjoy this fun exercise 🙂  Thanks, Anderson!