How empathetic are you?

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Empathy

We all want to believe we have it. We want to believe we are compassionate, kind and considerate. But are you, truly?  Few people question themselves about it.

Have you ever said to yourself….wait! Am I lacking an empathetic response here? Am I being inconsiderate?  Am I being unkind?  Did I truly put myself into that person’s shoes before judging them?

It’s a very natural response for us to reflexively respond in judgement and defense then it is for us to be empathetic. Think about it.

If you say yes, that you have reflected on this exact topic, then that’s a great indicator that you have a good degree of empathy.  And let me stop you, it shouldn’t come when someone is questioning you–saying perhaps you haven’t been empathetic. I’m talking have you ever just stopped yourself in a situation and wondered if you were truly being empathetic, without prompting?

If you haven’t, maybe it’s time for a an engine check and a tune-up?

This is a great empathy test by the Greater Good Magazine–Science-based Insights for a Meaningful Life from Berkeley.

Empathy involves putting yourself into the shoes of another in an attempt to feel what they may be feeling, to understand their situation from their point of view, not yours.

We all walk around with different levels and abilities to empathize with people. There are also different forms of empathy. There is emotional, cognitive and compassionate empathy. You can read an interesting article about it here.

Empathy is something that children need to be taught as early teenage development brings about strikingly self-centered behavior. It’s a natural part of our emotional development. Children and young adults are notorious for being self-centered. It’s their “toy”, their “game”, and if someone did something wrong, it wasn’t them even when the frosting is all over their cheeks and the cupcake is gone. She ate it, not me, right?

Being empathetic is essential for happiness in life. Without it people suffer.  A lack of empathy can cause devastating effects not only to the people around a person lacking empathy, but also for the person who lacks empathy themselves. They will struggle to form emotional bonds, build deep and lasting relationships and may never experience true love.

Empathy is not only good for others, but good for you, too!

Take the Empathy Test.   How empathetic are you?

Feel free to share your results below in the comment section.  I found my results fascinating.

James Comey with George Stephanopoulos

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Many of you have been interested in my opinion on the Comey interview this week. Sadly, I missed the show! I so wish I hadn’t!

I have seen the clip above and this clip, so I will comment on these clips only. I cannot speak about what I have not seen.

Do I believe James Comey is honest in the clips shown above?

I do.

I see a sincere man who truly cares about our country.

What do you think?

Please feel free to share your opinion below. Please NOTE any comment that is offensive or disrepectful will deleted. Dissent in a respectful way is always welcome.

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Dan Markel Murder Story on Dateline

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Dateline this past weekend detailed the story of Dan Markel’s murder in twisted details that took so many turns, you have to watch it to understand them all!  Right now, I’m not finding the video online, but hopefully Dateline NBC will upload it shortly. The episode is titled “Cold-Blooded”.   20/20 covered the story before here.

Dan Markel was divorced from his wife, Wendi Adelson, when he was murdered in 2014 at his Tallahassee home. The police have found two men who are talking about the crime, have been arrested and they say they were hired, but so far there have been no arrests in the case for the person(s) who hired them.

Wendi wanted to move to be near her family seven hours south in Miami, but the judge in their custody case said she could not uproot the children. She was denied. There was incredible tension between Dan and the Adelsons, which could have been a motive for Wendi and her family.

I found Wendi’s interview with police interesting.  She pings me left and right in her interview.

I was digging around on the case and found this interview podcast of Wendi. She took a writing class after her ex-husband’s murder and read a piece she wrote.  At one point in her writing, she talks about marrying Markel.  She says, “We married when I was in my mid-20s, when I thought I could cheat the system and marry a man I lacked passion and love for because, hey, didn’t that die anyway during marriage?”

Ouch!

She also talks about how after the murder, she sat next to an older lady on bench when the older woman ask her, “What does your husband do?”  She says, “I hate this question.  I haven’t yet said, he doesn’t do much, because he’s DEAD, but I think it sometimes.”  The tone of her voice when she says that is startling. It’s whiny.  At another point she talks about her face as an “endless mask”–that smiles from muscle memory.  She’s quite an interesting person, and seems to come from quite the family!

What did you think when you watched Wendi?  Do you think Wendi Adelson is the one who is the person behind the hired hit of her ex-husband?

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The Robin Spielbauer Murder on Dateline

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Did you catch Dateline this past weekend? It was the story of Katie Phipps, her love triangle with new husband, J.D. Spielbauer  and his ex-wife, Robin Spielbauer, which ultimately ends up in murder in 2014.

The story takes many twists and turns—leaving you wonder, what is the truth?!?

Do we have a jealous wife?  Or a vengeful husband? Or a conniving pair?

Even two members of law enforcement involved in this case have differing opinions on top of it!

D.A. James Farren first locked up Katie, but then he set free after 15 months.  He then locked up J.D. and J.D. went to trial. Katie testified against him.

Sgt. Allen Mongold says he still has unanswered questions with when it comes to Katie. He clearly shows doubt about Katie’s story.

Where do you stand on this case? Who do you believe?

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When you read the news stories on this murder, there are more twists and turns. Reality cannot match fiction, if you ask me.

I do not in any way trust a word out of Katie Phipps mouth. Not one.  She demonstrates behaviors that give me chills up the spine to say it mildly.

I stand with Sgt. Allen Mongold.

When Sgt. Mongold was called to Katie and J.D.’s house in that one incident described on Dateline, he said that Katie was in charge. J.D. listened to Katie when she told him to go into the house upon her order.  Katie shows all the traits of someone who is domineering, controlling and manipulating, but we are supposed to be believe that suddenly J.D. took charge and stood up and became the aggressive one. People’s personality and behaviors don’t change that quickly.

Wasn’t Katie the one who was texting J.D. some 300 times in a fit of anger?  That says volumes about her character, if you want my opinion, and how she deals with her angry emotions.

I caution you:  Don’t fall for this mousey, sweet caring demeanor. It’s a guise.

To believe J.D. did this alone, you have to believe that J.D. was one intelligent man. That he methodically planned out ahead of time to kill Robin, get her “pink” gun, and smash it all over the windows to plant evidence to frame Katie.

If he were going to do that, you would think he would have made sure Katie didn’t have an alibi as was said on the show, don’t you think?  I’m not buying that version of events at all.

According to this news story, Katie believed J.D. confessed to her in so many words that he killed Robin, but she never told police–even though she called the lead investigator to talk to him early on.  And when she was questioned by police after her arrest, she never said a word about it either. Really, now.

When asked on the stand why she didn’t tell police, it is reported in that article that Katie said she didn’t tell Sgt. Mongold because he wanted her …”to confess… or tell him who did it.”  Check it out!  That’s her excuse for not saying anything?  She’s talking in circles.  It’s absurd.  Her excuse isn’t even valid, if that news report is correct. It’s nonsensical.

Sgt. Mongold testified in the case according to another article that Katie’s son told conflicting accounts of what happened the night of the murder.  Why would that be?  Was he coached?  That’s suspicious.

In this interview with Global News (G-N), look at Katie’s responses to the reporter:

G-N: Why do you think he (J.D.) abandoned you [after your arrest]?

Phipps: “Because he’s scared.”

G-N: Scared of what?

Phipps: “Me.”

G-N: Why you?

Phipps: “I could tell you, but you couldn’t put it in the paper. It’s case-
related.”
…       (WOW, who was the boss of this relationship?)

G-N: There’s always the possibility they could one day recharge you.

Phipps: “That’s just something else we’ll deal with. If I got through it the first time, I’m sure I get through it the second time. But I don’t see that happening. It’s an unsettling thought. But just like anything else in life, you cope with it and move on.”

If you were innocent, would you say that?  I mean seriously.  If you were wrongly charged, locked up and waiting for trial, would think it would be okay if it happens again?

Oh hell no you wouldn’t! Would you even entertain it?  Or say it?  I can bet if you were innocent, you would NEVER say, “I’m sure I will get through it a second time.”  You’d have a lot more to say about that then this flippant and arrogantly out-of-touch answer.

I would love to get my hands on Katie’s interrogation interviews as well as J.D.’s so I could sort out the truth.  I am sure there are ample clues in their interviews as to what the truth is…there always are!

Stephanie Clifford, aka “Stormy Daniels” on 60 Minutes

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Link to Full Video here.

 

In watching Stormy Daniels, aka Stephanie Clifford, on 60 Minutes last night one thing is clear to me: While she tells us statements that I believe are truthful, she is not consistent in what she says is motivating her.

Daniels wants you to believe she is upset about people talking about her, and she wants to set the record straight. And she also wants you to know she isn’t doing this for the money.

Do I believe either of those statements?

No, I do not.

When it comes to Daniels account of meeting Trump, and having sex with him, I do believe she had sex with Donald Trump, though I believe she fudges a bit on what happened between her and Donald Trump on their second meeting.

I don’t believe she just watch TV with Trump for four hours while nothing happened. Like with Bill Clinton, the caveat here is what Daniels would classify as “sexual relations” or sex.

When Daniels talks about being alone in the hotel room with Trump, I find her reasoning for having sex with him total nonsense and ridiculous:

Stormy Daniels: I realized exactly what I’d gotten myself into. And I was like, “Ugh, here we go.” (LAUGH) And I just felt like maybe– (LAUGH) it was sort of– I had it coming for making a bad decision for going to someone’s room alone and I just heard the voice in my head, “well, you put yourself in a bad situation and bad things happen, so you deserve this.”

Anderson Cooper: And you had sex with him.

Stormy Daniels: Yes.

Every woman knows that getting an invite to a hotel room to meet a man alone in the evening has a high chance the man is expecting sex—especially with a very powerful man with a reputation such as Trump.

Daniels wasn’t so naïve as to not realize this. To suggest so is flat out insulting.

Of course she went with her own expectations and a goal in mind—so if you are going to be honest, Daniels, admit it.

There is also a pattern of Daniels trying to get money. She’s tried and tried and tried.

First she agreed to take $15,000 in 2011 from In Touch magazine, but supposedly the money never came.

Then she took $130,000 from Michael Cohen, Trump’s attorney, on behalf of Trump, but the contract was never signed. Oops.

You wonder when Daniels discovered this?  Was it recently?  Another goldmine?

If she truly got great offers before, then why didn’t she take them between 2011 and the election? I mean she wouldn’t have had to sign a “hush agreement”, which didn’t benefit her at all. The only way I could see her great offers as being true is if she held out and held out for better ones and they never came. Oops, her mistake.

To me, it appears Daniels attorney, Michael Avenatti, is playing a game here. He is slowly building the stakes for Cohen and Trump. Little by little, Daniels is revealing more and more about what happened to the public, and I believe they are hoping before she reveals too much, Cohen and Trump will settle for another undisclosed amount.

Don’t believe me?

Watch Daniels on Jimmy Kimmel a few weeks ago. She taunts and teases the audience and Kimmel—letting her adversaries know she’s willing to talk, but she’s holding back for now.

That didn’t work.

So next she goes on CBS 60 Minutes with Anderson Cooper.

She reveals more: Will that work?

Watch her attorney speak since the 60 Minutes interview. He’s upping the stakes even more.

Why do you supposed that is, if it’s not for more money?

Frankly, I wouldn’t want to be in a room with either Trump or Daniels.  I would not trust either of them behind my back for a second.

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