Ride Sharing Dangers with Steve Kardian

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If you take any ride service, this video is for you! It’s a must watch if you care about your safety.

Steve Kardian, who has been in law enforcement for over 30 years, and whom I know personally, is a trusted and awesome source for safety information.  I trust Steve’s advice on safety and security issues one thousand percent.  What Steve says, I do!

Actually, the reason I got to know Steve is because I sought him out for concerns over my safety and what Steve said was spot-on. That was almost a decade ago now.  Steve helped me understand my concerns and he gave me the confidence to make good decisions. He is well thought out, highly experienced and knows predator behavior inside and out.   He has written a book and also teaches Instructor Certification classes.  I highly recommend both.

What Steve Kardian shares with the Dr. Oz show is vital for people who use any ride services. It could save your life one day.

Last year, I experienced my first Uber ride with a group.  I had no fears with a group, but I did have an innate fear of taking an Uber alone as a woman and wouldn’t do it.

On my second Uber trip, accompanied by a professional I was working with, we got a ride that reinforced why I won’t take these ride services again any time soon.

The person I was working with at the time hired an Uber X car–their least expensive service. About 10 minutes later, our car arrived and when I saw it, I was taken back.  We got picked up on the North side of Chicago by a brightly-colored brand new Cadillac.   It was a $50K plus priced car, without question.

When I saw the car pull up, I was like what?!?  My jaw dropped.

I physically paused for a minute.  My subconscious mind started pinging me immediately, “This is not right.”

What do you do at that moment?  Say stop? I couldn’t even articulate why in that instantaneous second. It took me a minute to figure out why it felt off and during that time, my companion was entering the car.

The person I was with, very trusting and kind and from another country, kindly put my baggage into the trunk, and jumped right into the front seat and put his stuff below his feet.

I intrepidly got into the back passenger side wondering who the driver was.  As I got in, I could tell the driver was in high alert mode. He was a huge, burly man who probably weighted 220 plus and he was monitoring everything my companion was doing.  He showed signs of distress at what my fellow companions was doing in the front seat and with things under his legs on the floor.  My companion didn’t notice.

The driver in a very tense, and deep commanding voice said, “Why did you put your stuff down on the floor? Put it in back.”  It was clearly bothering the driver.

Red flag #2.

I immediately offered to take the stuff put on the front floor to the back seat.  That eased the driver. I could see his tension back down a bit, and I took a deep breath!

As I looked around this luxurious interior, the pieces were coming together:  Huge scary driver, big fancy Cadillac, unease in the front seat…

The picture was clear.

This was likely a drug vehicle being used to hide criminal business. And the driver was no small flea in the chain! And he didn’t like strangers in his front seat with things under the seat that he doesn’t know what they are. I mean if you are in the drug business, there are hits–especially in Chicago.  He had to be on guard!

Guy in front seat with unknown goods?  Not acceptable.

The driver wasn’t from the immediate area. I could tell by his speech.

The driver was NOT friendly and didn’t engage with us.  I kept envisioning us pissing him off and being shot dead, and dumped on the side of the highway.

Yeah, that is extreme, but probably for good reason!  Don’t be so quick to discount scary thoughts–they may be a huge warning signal for you to watch YOUR OWN BEHAVIOR.

I believe my subconscious mind and my gut were telling me this guy is dangerous!! Alert, alert, alert!!  Pay attention! I intuitively and innately KNEW if we in any way upset this driver, we were not going to be a good situation. I also knew if I kept my head about me and just relaxed, the odds were in our favor everything would be fine.  Just keep this man happy was the goal. If he wanted to listen to loud music, it was good for me. He did have on an annoying station.

I quietly sat in the back thinking I would just stay silent on the ride.  But my friend started talking and sharing details about what we had done and were doing — innocent idle chat. It came out that we had worked with law enforcement on a project.  I was not liking that. It could be good, BUT it also could be bad. Many criminals do not think highly of law enforcement and if they think you are involved with them (they don’t know at what level), you are automatically a bad guy.

I did not want to be this man’s bad guy. Ever!!!

As we got going,  I typed in our destination address–which I always do in any hired ride I take. I watched the turn-by-turn moves on my GPS (this is a must do).  I wanted to make sure this guy didn’t veer off on any path that didn’t make sense. In taxi’s you do this to catch block turners ringing up your meter! Had he veered off path, I would have been on him in seconds.  I would have immediately made calls and alerted people of my situation as Steve suggests!  Thankfully, he didn’t and we arrived at our destination without worry.

I also noticed how this driver drove impeccably, too. I mean perfectly on speed, politely–as if not to tip anyone off. Our last driver, no, he didn’t do that. He was more the average driver in his behaviors. Do you notice this stuff?

What did I do the next day?

I read all about how ride share services have been involved in the drug and criminal enterprise. Innocent people have been killed, and raped.  Imagine being in the crossfire. It happens when you are in a target’s vehicle. Gulp.

That ended those services for me. At least for now.

I hope they clean up their acts.  As Steve says in his book, always have a blueprint for what you will do in emergencies. It will save your life!

Next time, I will happily take a taxi. My odds aren’t 100%, I know, but they are better.

Stay safe!

OJ Simpson’s Lost Confession: Did you see it?

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I must confess that I had no idea this was going to be on or I would have recorded it! But I can say the short clips I have seen of this show had my jaw on the floor.

Simpson says he is talking”hypothetically” as he supposedly recounts the murder of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown.

From the clips I’ve watched, there is nothing hypothetical about it.

Are we seeing a chilling, cold calculating killer bask in the limelight again knowing he is immune from punishment?

Are we seeing the arrogance of a man who believes he can fool still fool people?

Are we seeing a deranged killer who loves toying with people and being the center of attention?

I plan to watch this show in full this weekend to get a clear picture of what is going on here!

I will share some of my thoughts either in another post or in the comment section below!  Check back soon!

What do you think?

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The Evasive Betsy DeVos: A Great Study

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If video doesn’t work for you above, click here.

If you caught CBS 60 Minutes this weekend, you got to watch the U.S. Secretary on Education, Betsy DeVos, answer pointed questions. She was a fascinating study in human behavior!

DeVos is highly skilled at the “social” or shall we say “fake” smile. She pulls it off with ease and I no doubt that many people looking at her smile would say she is sincere. Can you see that?

She’s also highly skilled at saying what she wants you to hear–directly avoiding answering questions of her.

This is a highly manipulative technique.

When people chose not to answer questions directly, that should be a huge red flag for you. When people are manipulative to this degree, I say WOW– take notice!

What good comes of this behavior?  I say that seriously.

People who are honest are happy to answer questions and talk about all facets of a situation.

Liars, however, will try to direct you to only what they want to talk about, which will never benefit you.  Only them.

Did you find this interview interesting?

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Are you really empathetic? Or are you sympathetic?

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Many people believe they are empathetic, but the reality is they are not. Can you differentiate between empathy and sympathy?

Sympathy is feeling sorry for a person’s situation.  You see they are sad and you acknowledge it, but you really don’t connect to that feeling in yourself.

As an example, your friend gets a diagnosis. You’ve never had a serious diagnosis, so you will feel bad for them, and you wish them well, but you really don’t get what it feels like to be in your friend’s situation–so you can’t connect to those feelings.  You just know its a bummer, negative, sad and not good.

And then again, maybe you can.  Seeing your friend’s emotions stirs up a time in your past: You remember when you were sick and in the hospital once and felt helpless and hopeless, and lost and alone. The latter of these two examples is empathy.

Empathy is the ability to truly find that place in yourself that connects to how that person is feeling and to feel it yourself.  So when I see a friend truly sad and hurting, I connect to that part of myself and I can understand their pain. I can intuitively feel it. I know it. I connect to it, and hence connect to you.

The video above is a really good description–I highly recommend watching it (if you haven’t–I’m talking to you!).

Some people have highly active mirror neurons that fire when they see an emotion on another person’s face. Just by seeing it, their brain lights up the same emotional part in their brain and they begin to feel that emotion. Often times this occurs without awareness!

I’ve witnessed this many times in when I teach my classes. These people are highly empathetic people–extremely tuned in to other people’s emotions.  Not everyone has a natural mirror response.

In my training, I play videos with high emotional content.  When I am playing my videos, I often am reading email or thinking about something else.  I’ve seen them 100s of times.  And every now and then, when I am paused and thinking — looking around as I think, I feel a wave of emotion come over me, or I’ll feel my face literally go sad. And I’ll stop myself.   I’ve questioned, why do I suddenly feel sad?

What is going on is my mirror neuron’s have kicked in and I didn’t even realize it!!  As I become aware of what is going on,  I will inevitability find myself staring a person who is highly engaged in the video making a very strong emotional expression. And without even realizing it, my dang mirror neuron’s trip off in my head, induced the emotional response in me and I’m making the freak’n expression on my face.  I’m also feeling the emotion too!  It’s usually sadness that I key into.  Isn’t that wild?

I’m reacting to a person–who is reacting to a video I am not watching! I’m pretty numb to the videos too because I’ve played them so many times. It’s very powerful and profound.

So are you empathetic?  Or sympathetic?  Or both?

And do your mirror neurons fire and activate when you see other people’s emotions on their face?

If you aren’t  sure, next time you see someone displaying a very strong emotion on their face, pause yourself.  Is your face making the same expression?  If so, you’ve caught your mirror neurons at work!  You’re highly sensitive to other people’s emotions and probably extremely empathetic.

If you don’t respond, don’t beat yourself up. You are a not as emotional as some people, and that’s good too. We need people who aren’t as emotional in life to help society do the jobs those with emotions can’t do! And we thank you for that, too!  You are equally important!

If the world depended on me to do the work of a doctor, firefighter or policeman, we’d be in serious trouble!

Daily Thought: What divides us?

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This is a deeply thought-provoking video on why echo chambers breed loneliness.

That’s a mouthful, bear with me.

Dr. Brene Brown studies vulnerability, and she has some fascinating things to say. If you haven’t heard of her, she’s worth exploring.

I will share some of her videos with my thoughts in the coming weeks because my interest in human behavior and deception crossover with her studies of vulnerability and connection.

With our deeply divided nation right now, people are struggling more than ever to discern the truth, right?

I know many of you are craving better ways to determine truth from lies in your own life, because those in power are doing everything they can to confuse the public to keep their agendas on target decrying “fake news” and denying reality when it suits them.  The truth has lost its power, and corruption rules.   I’ve seen it on both sides of the isle, sadly.

In this video, Dr. Brown hits the nail on the head on precisely how to do this–how to spot the truth without a good lie detector. She does so indirectly, but she does it beautifully!

Dr. Brown gives you the best tool for this, and I can tell you it will guide you with clarity.

Most people believe if you aren’t on my side, you are my enemy, right?

And what do we when we think about them as “the enemy”?

We dehumanize them.

Brown’s message is so poignant and on target.

Dehumanizing them is literally breaking down society’s safety net as we know it.  Having compassion that we are all in this together, that we are all human, is what protects us as a civilized society. Denying any part of our society as less than human is literally breaking down the fabric of truth.

We are setting the stage for much more horrific atrocities, if this continues. We are at huge crossroad if we allow this to progress. History demonstrates this.

As a society, this is a cancer and we have to stop this.

What can YOU do to stop this incredibly dangerous tear in our fabric?

There are several things. First, it means taking a look at yourself.  In our fears and discomfort (which we are all feeling), we are prone to want to paint those who disagree with us as less than human.  It makes us feel SAFE! Right?

It’s your job to work at being aware of when you do this as we all will at times (be truthful to yourself).  When you do catch yourself, look at the other “people”, and instead of focusing on your differences, focus on your commonality–what do you have in common?

I can find many people who have different beliefs than me who share so much in common.

It’s okay to disagree with people, to have different values, it’s healthy for you, but look at the people as they are:  human, and try to find their beauty. We all bring something special to the table, if you look.

Second, when anyone in public (in your world or on TV), whether they are a politician or just a plain old person, speaks out with any dehumanizing behavior — NOTICE!  STOP!  PAY ATTENTION. And DO NOT support it!  Make your feelings known this is not acceptable behavior!

Dehumanizing people is your BIGGEST WARNING SIGN that the person doing so is dangerous. They are an absolute threat to democracy as you know it and the life you love.

For this behavior is your biggest litmus test to determine truth and lies.

A person who is willing to dehumanize another will NEVER acknowledge the truth–they are incapable of it on any level, and in that state of mind they are flat out dangerous!   This is precisely the stuff of world wars and genocides.

There are zero excuses for any human to dehumanize another — and that is your ethical measure to say stop the lies!!

I give you permission to say enough is enough!!!

I will not support or tolerate anyone who does that.  EVER.

It is unity, not division, that will heal our nation, and our world, and the only way we can do that is to see our enemy not as a threat, but as another human being where we need to build connection. For it is our disconnect that will ultimately bring us down as a society and as a people.