Johnny Depp’s Testimony

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The big story in the news is the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s defamation trial going on right now. Are you watching it?  People are wondering if Johnny Depp is being honest. Amber Heard hasn’t testified yet.

When I watch Depp testify, I see a man whose demeanor is very calculated. He is methodical in choosing his words and acting in a very controlled manner.  This flags me.  Why does he have the need to be so controlled?

When I listen to the recorded audio segments played in court of Depp and Heard arguing, I hear a very different demeanor from Depp. Of course he is mad (in the clip above), but this “calculated and methodically” personality is no where to be seen. It means we aren’t seeing an authentic Depp in one of these places.  You can pick which one you think is authentic.

When people are honest, they don’t need to control anything. So for me, this raises big red flags.

In the video clip above, I see many elements that give me pause and concern.  It’s clear Depp doesn’t have memories of multiple incidents because he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

It’s notable to me that he can’t remember the TV breaking. He thinks there was a “cup” or a “plate” stuck into it? Those are pretty distinct items to not be able to differentiate in memory.  He can’t remember which it was?

Ouch.

Would he then remember hitting or harming someone?

When it comes to the discussion of the penis drawn on a painting, I do believe Depp doesn’t remember drawing a penis on a painting. I’ll give him that! He gives supportive evidence he doesn’t remember.

When the attorney questions him about the penis painting, and says, “Given the state you were in, it’s entirely possible that you did that even if you don’t remember it to this day, correct?”

I love how Depp ignores the question (very common for him), and then tries to act like he does remember what was important to him.

Depp says, “Drawing a penis on a painting wasn’t the first thing on my mind.”

You have to laugh: That’s an ego statement like, dude, I don’t dream of penises. But it is also, to me, a form of control. It’s appears to be a need by him to change facts to suit him, which always raises eyebrows for me.

He continues, “I had messages…to, uh…write.”

Messages?  Really? Is that what you would call this?  Isn’t this manipulation? Gaslighting? Isn’t he painting himself in a light that doesn’t fit with reality?  Do you know anyone who could call defacing a lamp or property leaving “messages”?  It’s ridiculous.

For me, it is playing with words in an attempt to manage and control the situation–to change the narrative.

When you are honest, do you need to do this?

No.

People who do this? They typically can’t be honest with themselves let alone others. They are also often very toxic.

The attorney goes on saying that Depp wrote grievances he had with Heard, and Depp says, “Reminders”.

Listen, if you want to be taken seriously and honestly, admit what you’ve done. Don’t twist and turn the picture here to try to hide from it. Everyone can see it here.  Depp defaced stuff here so own it. Don’t tell us you wrote “reminders”.  That’s babble and nonsense.

When further questioned about the lampshade, Depp ridiculously says of defacing of the lamp, “Yes, I thought it was good advice.”

It’s good advice to deface lamps and put messages on them?

Please help me. Depp is telling you who he is here.

In point 6, in the video clip above, where Heard rattles off all the abuse she claims to have endured, I would have expected Depp to cut her off, disagree, or argue if it was nonsense. I find that noteworthy that he didn’t. I wish this clip didn’t cut off here, though! Is there more of this clip that is noteworthy? He could have just walked away–you can’t rule that out. I can’t tell by the short clip. I’m curious now! If he engages with her after this and just ignores it, it’s noteworthy.

Later in the clip above, Depp talks about looking through a doorway to see Heard’s foot injury (I’m not sure the whole context of this segment). He then says the door hit him smack dab head on in the forehead (because she kicked it in).  I’m trying to figure how that could happen. If you are bending down in a doorway, looking at a toe, and the door is cracked a jar about a foot as he says, how does the door hit you in the center of the forehead as he demonstrated?  I could see it being kicked and slamming into the side of your head (crushing). But how does a slightly ajar door hit you and bounce off the forehead as he says? Unless he was looking at the door and not her foot? Strange.

He even smiles as he says it.  Why would he smile here? It’s odd.  Then he says he, “was completely taken a back by such a…a…a…a., corrosive…..horr..ific move.”

That’s dramatic, don’t you think?  Or did he have serious injuries from this that I don’t know about?  He doesn’t seem to show or talk about any emotional pain from the experience. It sounds like it was a serious bruise to his ego however.

Throughout his testimony, we see this arrogant smugness, smirking and smiling on Depp’s face.  Arrogance is a belief  that one is superior. Superior people put themselves first always!  Nearly 100% of the time. It always alerts me to pay close attention that this is a very self-centered person.

We then see a video of Depp saying “You want to see crazy” as he pours a bottle of wine. When asked about the incident, the attorney says, “You were violent in that clip, correct?”  Depp replies, “Um…clearly I was having a bad…time.”

Really?  No, that was a rage fit. A violent emotional outburst where he lost control. He can’t admit it.

What can he admit then?

Depp is then asked if he was drunk in that video clip and he can’t admit it, either.  He says, “There is a possibility of that.”

You cannot pin down this man to answer directly on anything! And yet he wants to point the finger at someone else and hold them accountable?

In his testimony, Depp admits that he gave a pill to Marilyn Manson, “so that he would stop talking.”

YIKES.

This is an arrogance in a person that feels superior to others and will do whatever he wants to make himself feel better regardless of how it affects them.

While it is not appropriate to rage and yell and scream at a man as Heard did, I can certainly understand she was dealing with a brick wall who twists and turns and changes the narrative. That will make any person crazy.

Do you see a pattern here? A pattern of not answering questions directly?  A pattern of not taking ownership of his bad behaviors?? Of twisting things to change the narrative? Of not remembering events?

Is this a person you would find trustworthy?

I certainly don’t.  I would not feel safe in the presence of Depp behind closed doors ever.

I will share my thoughts on Amber as well once she testifies.

Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Oscars

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I didn’t catch the Oscar’s last night. It’s not really my cup of tea, to be honest, but several people have requested my thoughts about last night’s incident with Will Smith and Chris Rock.

When I first watched the incident in the video above, the slap or punch or hit sounded so loud, yet I didn’t see Chris Rock respond in kind to such a hard hit.  It made me wonder for a second:  Is this real? Or a staged event?  Did you question it, too?

But afterwards, seeing Smith say, “Keep my wife’s name out of our f–ing mouth,” and the concurrent response of angry words he said, and the tension in his face clearly supports this is not staged, but real.

Will Smith even walks away after the slap with a smug smirk on his face. He is proud about what he did, which makes me nauseated, to be honest.

I find Smith’s actions to be completely unacceptable on any level. He was like a 2-year old child having a temper tantrum at a formal event!  He resorted to physical aggression to (a) communicate and (b) intimidate, (c) humiliate and (d) bully Chris Rock.

This is not a correction–drawing a respectable boundary, if he felt violated as an adult. This is abusive. If Smith had an issue, he could have maturely addressed his grievance afterwards whether in private or in public. There are mature ways of doing things.

Where is society going?  It seems we are going backwards!

When I see people who act like Smith and see they can and will do this in public without regret, I shutter to think what they are like behind closed doors where they feel freer to be cruel. When you can’t control a temper in public, there are often many other things you can’t control either, and its scary.  This gives me great pause in trusting someone after witnessing this!

Smith also did not give a sincere apology, but instead he continued his “victim stance”–even blaming Rock for being the abuser.  Smith said, “I know, to do what we do, you gotta be able to take abuse,” Smith also said in his speech. “You gotta be able to have people talk crazy about you. In this business, you gotta be able to have people disrespecting you and you gotta smile and pretend like that’s OK.”

He also said, “At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you”

He is a “victim”, which is another sad situation. Neither he nor Jada have to be a victim if someone insults them. That’s toxic behavior.

As for Chris Rock, if his comment was meant to attack Jada’s alopecia, it was not an appropriate joke, but I have to give it to Chris Rock. He didn’t resort to more escalation after being physically attacked! That took maturity to do that. And I thought it was common to roast people at the Oscars. Am I wrong?  I am not an expert on Oscar history, my apologies, if I am wrong.

Frankly, as a society, we should not accept people acting like Smith did. It’s totally unacceptable on every level. There is no excuse for it. Period.

Lastly, there are multiple reports of Nicole Kidman reacting during all of this. Some say it was due to the slap, and other say the moment was captured before. But either way, they captured a great expression on her face. Do you know what it is?

 

Two Types of Deception Quote

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There are two ways to be fooled.  One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to accept what is true.”
–Soren Kierkegaard

ABC The Bachelor: Clayton, Sarah and Empathy

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If you caught the Bachelor last night, Clayton confronted one of the women on the show–questioning her sincerity to commit to marriage at the end of the season. It was a fascinating moment. When you look for people to trust, you want to see genuine emotions, which Sarah showed. And you also want to see your partner show a compassionate response to your genuine emotions–to know that they are also capable of genuine empathy and compassion, too.  No one wants a partner void of empathy, right? That’s a high risk scenario!

With Clayton last night, he was emotionally stone-faced in response to Sarah’s heart-pouring response to his questions!  I was in awe of it. It was glaring and obvious and jaw-dropping for me.

You can’t be quick jump to the conclusion that because he shows no emotions, he therefore has no empathy. I would want to see other supportive evidence first! Always! There are reasons why people have impairments that don’t mean they are cold-hearted!

Clayton may not have been able to read Sarah and could have been in deep in thought trying to dissect her sincerity. That is absolutely plausible. He does seem to struggle with the ability to read people if you’ve been watching the show. He actually shows somewhat of a handicap in this ability.

Even still, I would still expect some response to her genuine emotional display of sadness and her sincere vulnerability, but Clayton had no emotional (visible) response.  He did express cognitive empathy after the ordeal, and I was glad to see that.

This could come from him having another medical issue such a mild form of autism as well. You need to absolutely consider there may be other causes to his inability to read or express emotion. Is it consistent throughout his other interactions with people?

If I were Sarah, or any of the girls on the show, going forward I would watch his emotional responses closely and see if I can understand his ability to empathize. And if it is reduced, what the reasoning may be for it? He may be able to provide some insight that isn’t public.  Or he could give us a cold response, right?  Wouldn’t you want to know?!

Time for a detective hat!

From the previews of the upcoming episodes, it appears that Clayton tells two women that he was intimate with them in front of each of the women–which again, makes you question him again.  Why on earth would anyone do this?  Is this a lack of empathy or difficulty in understanding the complexity of human relationships? The previews are mind-boggling.

I am always on the lookout for people who show low or no empathy–especially being a highly empathetic person. To be a highly empathetic person in a low or no empathy relationship–that’s painful and difficult at best!

I don’t have answers on Clayton and I may not get them, but I put this out for food for thought. Do you watch people’s interactions with others to see if they are empathetic? It’s actually important to do for your well-being and could even in some cases affect your safety!

My goal in 2022 is to help people understand others who pose risk to lie or cause harm to you. People low on empathy pose risk even if they don’t intention to at times. Understanding one’s ability to empathize is very important. Stay tuned!  I’m going to be bringing my classes into the virtual world this year! Interested? Sign-up to get notified!

Alec Baldwin’s Interview on ABC

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Did you catch the interview of Alec Baldwin last night with George Stephanopoulos? He talked about the horrible day in October of this year, when a prop gun went off on the set of Rust, and killed cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and wounded director Joel Souza.

I found the interview very hard to watch. He turned my stomach inside out multiple times.

Baldwin showed an arrogance, a defiance and a callousness that bothered me.

Did you catch those? They are always red flags for you to pay attention, because exactly as seen, it can affect your safety. People who have those traits will always put themselves and their needs above you.

Baldwin actually showed more sadness for himself then he did for Halyna or the trauma he caused his crew. At times, it was simply, and disgustingly, all about him, even though he said that he did not want us to see him as a victim.

It’s very clear, however, Baldwin sees himself as a victim. He also sees himself as special and deserving of special treatment.

Do you see the signs of a toxic personality here??

I do.

According to Baldwin, nothing was his responsibility, and frankly, I don’t buy it. Not for a second.

His interview was done in desperation because he fears being held accountable and how that will cause him to suffer. It wasn’t about how his actions or in-actions caused grave harm and death. No, He doesn’t want to be held liable in anyway for what happened. The entire interview was him trying to find anything or anyone else to hang this horrible accident on.

I can’t imagine any lawyer telling him to do this interview. His arrogance actually hung him out to dry and will help those suing him. Not surprising for his personality type. They think they can convince you of their “truths”.

Do I believe Baldwin set out to intentionally harm people on the set? No.

Are there indications that someone else tried to cause havoc and harm on the set knowingly? I haven’t seen anything to support this yet, but that could always change. I’m not privy to the investigation.

Do I think there was a dangerous and reckless disregard for the safety of others? I absolutely do.

Do I think Baldwin was acting recklessly by not following safety protocols on the set? 1000%. And he should be held liable. He may not be the only person here who acted with recklessness and lack of concern for the safety of others, but he was at the helm of this production–the one ultimately responsible. And he doesn’t want to own that on any level.

Do I think Baldwin has skipped those safety steps before? I do. He clearly thinks he doesn’t have to do that stuff because he pays people, which is rubbish. Safety is safety and no one regardless of status is above that.

The fact that Baldwin said toward the end of the interview that he didn’t feel any guilt about what happened–I hope that cause a strong reaction in you, because it should. It shows his utter disregard for others and his completely lack of empathy. Any human being who has empathy would feel guilty as hell for what happened in that scenario and the fact he didn’t, speaks volumes.

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Keep your eyes out in 2022!! I am going to be offering a very limited special 1:1 training/coaching for people who want to learn how to identify people who cause harm! I will only be accepting people who are very serious about learning this skill set and truly want to change their lives.