Danish Mother Seeking Father
If you have already seen this story in the news, I ask that you refrain from commenting for those who haven’t. If you haven’t, feel free to share your thoughts! No cheating 🙂
News Report: Rifqa Bary Lied to LE
Central Florida News is reporting today that Rifqa Bary lied to state investigators. You can read the story here.
Investigators found absolutely no credible reports of threats and no “derogatory” information based on the allegations after interviewing her siblings, people at her school and others involved in her life.”
[…]
Rifqa was interviewed by investigators on Aug. 21. She told them she hitchhiked from a neighbor’s house to the Greyhound bus station in Columbus for her trip to Orlando.
It turns out a man who baptized her in Ohio is the one who drove her to the bus station.
Then, investigators learned her bus ticket was actually bought in Orlando under a fictitious name…read more here.
I originally wrote about Rifqa Bary here on August 26, and I shared all the inconsistencies I saw in Bary’s behavior. In a poll on August 24, nearly 30% of those polled either believed or were unable to decide if they believed Bary.
Thanks to everyone who has updated me on the story today.
My Thoughts: Raven Abaroa
When I watch Raven Abaroa speak here about his wife’s murder, these are my thoughts:
- I am immediately struck by his demeanor as he recalls what most people would assume is the worst day of his life. He is happy, and grins as he talks about his last night with his wife. If you didn’t know any better, by simply watching him in the beginning, you’d think he was describing a typical day in his life. This is a notable red flag for me. Where is this guy’s emotions? Wasn’t this day, the day his wife was murdered, horribly painful? How come we don’t see any of that pain? Or was it not painful for him?
- I find it strange how Abaroa doesn’t remember what they had for dinner that night, yet he says, “We quickly had to prepare a meal.” Most people, whose spouse gets murdered, and who are victims, relive the last hours they had spent together over and over, and even decades later will tell you exactly what they shared as a last meal, what they wore, exactly what they did in their last hours, etc. The emotions of such a painful event sear the memories in their brain forever. For Abaroa, to not remember this, is strange to me.
- Abaroa keeps saying “maybe” as he describes the events of the evening, as if he doesn’t remember. He says, “…maybe preparing some of the stuff that needed to be prepared for lunch the next day.” What? Why doesn’t he remember? Why is he using a hedge word like “maybe” here?
- Did you hear how Abaroa uses the word “tomorrow”? He is recollecting what the they were going to do the next day (the day after she was murdered). This is very unusual wording for someone recollecting something. I would have expected him to say “what we were going to do the next day.” How many times do you use the word “tomorrow” when talking about past events?
- Abaroa’s demeanor takes a notable change around time marker 1:30. He talks about Janet folding clothes, “So, she put him to bed and was folding clothes, at that time…”
Abaroa gets incredibly nervous here. His demeanor changes, notably. If only I could ask why… Then out of the blue, he asks if his microphone is working, laughs genuinely, and asks if he should start over from the beginning. His deep laughter is amazingly odd. I’d wonder if there was truly a microphone issue at this point, or if he freaked out thinking about the events of that night, and wanted to start over. This would be intriguing to know. He admits he got “side tracked”.
- I find it interesting once the conversation starts again, that he starts talking about the TV shows Janet liked. He suddenly stops recalling the night and starts just talking about elements of their life. It’s notable. Why does he do this? Is he trying to relax? Is this a key time in that evening where things could have gone wrong?
- Abaroa tells us that he is very controlling by saying that he has to have not only his clothes put away just so, but also Kaiden’s clothing. This intrigues me. He continues getting side tracked again and again, instead of telling us what happened. Why? Why can’t he give us a detailed account? I can’t help but wonder if any of this happened the way Abaroa is telling us. The most important element is, of course, what happened to his wife. As a victim of violence, like murder, I would think that he would have a need to talk about it, to get justice, to tell his story… but he kepts going off on tangents. It’s odd.
- It’s also very notable how he tries to act happy, but to me, I keep seeing hints of nervousness. People are usually not happy and nervous at the same time. This is unusual, unless they are excited about something.
- When Abaroa says, “We share that moment that evening…” (approximately time marker 4:50) his demeanor changes again, like it did earlier. Why is he nervous recollecting the time spent around the laundry? Why does he keep swallowing more and more? It’s like when he talks about this time, he gets really freaked out, over and over again.
- Then Abaroa strangely skips all the details and goes into, “and um…then when everything was said and done, and she was ready for bed, and I was ready to call it quits and go to my soccer game, she would usually watch episode of General Hospital, uh, before she went to bed. She would record it every day. She was a die-hard General Hospital fan and uh, um so she gave me a hug and kiss, and we snuggled for a little while, and she um, she told me, ‘You have too much to do, you should stay home tonight, stay with me.’ And you know, looking back at it now, that really…is something that bothers me…about the last night that I got to be with my wife is that, you know that I felt like she knew better and that she knew that I needed to be home night (contempt expression), and I didn’t listen to her, and you know…”
Why would he feel contempt here? Notice the pauses in his speech? The stops and starts? It’s suggestive he is thinking on his feet, not talking from actual memory. Perhaps he is remembering another time they spent together?
- If you listen to his voice here, too, it quivers. I also find it interesting how he goes back to folding the laundry again. Why does he go back to that? Did Janet want him to stay home and he didn’t want to, and that is where everything could have begun? I tend to suspect so…
- Abaroa says, “I got home, and…umm…….you know, go upstairs…wha…I’d always go in and gave Kaiden a kiss. You know, I don’t want to say I was checking in on him, but, you know, I just kind of go in and give him a kiss and feel his warm body (expression of disgust) and…………and that’s a……., you know, that’s when I found out something wasn’t wrong.”
Why is Abaroa so nervous right here that he can’t talk correctly? Something “wasn’t wrong?” What does that mean?? This is very strange! He is also not crying. He is more jittery than anything, if you want my opinion: Like he is shaking from the inside out.
- Notice the lack of details here as well? Why are they missing? The words “kind of” are odd. They are hedge words…words that are said when someone wants to say something affirmative, but doesn’t manage to pull it off, because they know it isn’t the truth.
- I find it fascinating how he says, “Janet died that night.” Why can’t he say she was MURDERED? If he has nothing to do with this, he should feel violated and want to catch the person who violated his world, and killed his wife.
Is he sanitizing the act here? Why would he want to do that unless he was involved? This is a huge red flag for me. See time marker 7:40.
- When Abaroa says “Janet died that night”, it’s haunting. There are no tears. Instead, there is a flash of a smile just before he talks!!! It’s chilling. He keeps trying to fight it, too, after he speaks as well by pulling his lips outward. He can’t contain it!!Then he says, “I wasn’t there that night” and I sense he smiles then, too. He is displaying a sense of satisfaction when he says this that I can’t explain.
- Notice how his story doesn’t make sense? He realizes things are wrong when he is with the baby? He doesn’t talk about finding Janet first, but he knows? The details are all eerily missing. The events are out of place. Things don’t make sense, and there is always a reason for this.
- He tells us, “I couldn’t remember, you know, what I needed to do, how I needed to help her. ” What? How many victims do you hear say this? This is crazy babble, if you want my opinion. This guy’s emotions do NOT match what he is telling us at all!!
- He goes on and says, “This isn’t real. This isn’t happening me” and there is another detectable smile!! Why on earth would this make him feel good?
- Abaroa says, “And as far as what happened after that, it seems like the fire department was there in two seconds.” This is shocking. How many times have you faced an emergency or crisis in your life where time flew by instead of stood still? Pain causes minutes to turn to hours. Victims who find a deceased loved one always talk about how it seemed like forever until help arrived. How come for him it was instantly? Why doesn’t he talk about calling 911 or giving us these details? Abaroa gives us this lame excuse he doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m not buying it. I think it is a convenient excuse.
Abaroa continually flashes positive emotions when he talks about that night. There are too many to note. It’s very contradictory to his message. I can conclusively say in this video, I do not trust much of what Abaroa says to be the truth. I suspect he knows a lot more than he is telling us…
Looking at a House
This weekend, we were out of town and saw a cute neighborhood that caught our eye. There was also a lovely house that had a superb price, so we called the realtor and asked to see it. She showed up and showed us the house.
Read moreIt was nine years old and the “second owners” were selling it. When I heard that, my antenna went up. This house is in a vacation area with a beautiful lake within the block. Most people don’t buy it and get rid of it that quickly. These homes are usually a decent investment and in this location would likely be in a family for a lifetime, if not longer.
The first thing we noticed was a shower. It was a brick style shower with a porous feel to it. I have never seen anything like it, but what caught your eye was someone had recently painted it black and they did a sloppy job! The black paint was like this blaring red flag that something was wrong. Granted, there was a gray/black tile and the toliet was black, but the sloppiness was just so notable. My mom was with me and she immediately suspected mold. I couldn’t agree more. Everything these else was spotless.
As we walked out of the bathroom, I asked the realtor why they were selling and she said, “The woman had triplets and this is just too much for her now. Also, the kids are allergic to everything.” The word allergic jumped out at me. It matched my suspicions of mold. I wondered if this was a subconscious “slip” by the realtor? Were the children allergic or reacting to the mold?
Then I started looking around the kitchen and I saw water stains above the cabinets. The realtor quickly explained they had an ice damn. I didn’t believe her story because ice damns usually effect the story where the gutters and roof are first, not the second story down unless they are really severe.
When I went upstairs to the second story and saw the lovely porch overlooking the pool and backyard, I could clearly see a builder made some fundamental mistakes in building the roof and deck area, and that is what caused the leaking. There was flat roll roofing and and the posts when right into the roofing. The flat roof design had major flaws and was caulked all over. Hello! The entire roof area and railing were put in by someone who had no idea what they were doing. This was likely the cause of many of the water issues that had now dried up under what I would call temporary fixes. But I couldn’t help but wonder what mold still lurked in the walls, waiting to come alive after a few showers…
Visually, the house was just beautiful. It had vaulted 9 to 12 foot ceilings, bamboo floors and looked like a pricey loft from the inner city of Chicago. It had two balconies, a whirlpool tub. It was everything anyone would want for a second home. Visually, it was a great buy. The reator even told us it was $20,000 less than what they paid for it, which with the economy lately, could happen.
The entire house had a upscale appeal. It was clear the original owners had expensive taste, but likely built this place on a budget, as it was their second home. That in and of itself wouldn’t scare me. It was the black shower, and what the realtor said that put me into caution mode.
While I was upstairs, the realtor told my mom that two sisters and their parents owned this home, and that they came up every weekend. This clearly tells us the “triple story” was just another “story“. That wouldn’t stop the other sister and parents from enjoying this place more, would it? Also, if three related families owned this home, wouldn’t that make taking triplets all that much easier?
We went back to the neighborhood over the weekend, and despite what the realtor said about them being there every weekend, there was no one there. When I told my husband what my mom said about them being there every weekend, he said, “What a joke!” Is she nuts? I looked in the cabinets and there are no dishes whatsoever in the kitchen anywhere. No one comes up there every weekend.”
I remembered, too, there was only one bed in the house on the main floor. There were no beds in any of the other bedrooms. They were vacant.
Isn’t it amazing how facts can give away a lie? This realtor tried hard, but failed miserably. She really shot her own foot when you think about it.
When I talked to my mom a second time, she said, “Oh yeah, the realtor also said when we were looking at the house, ‘Yeah, the previous owners bought this house from a builder, but they haven’t been able to locate him.”
That realtor, I think without even knowing it, is subconsciously sabotaging herself with this house. She is trying to sell something she doesn’t believe in, and does it ever show, even if only subconsciously. Is she ever wasting her time or what?
So many people when they lie never add up the facts to see if their lie will fly. It’s almost funny, in hindsight.
“You’ve got to play poker!”
You don’t know how many people write to me and tell me that my calling in life is to play poker. I say that laughingly because not only do perfect strangers tell me that, but so does my own husband. He has been begging me to learn for years hoping and dreaming that I could be his ticket to a million dollars.
I keep telling him to “Dream on!“. If only it were that easy…
What people don’t realize is that all people are influenced by their emotions, regardless of their ability to spot the truth, and emotions, when heightened, are the biggest deflector for anyone to see reality. When people are emotional, and I am no exception, our brain tricks us and makes us think things are “blacker than black” or “rosier than red,” when in reality it is never that stark. In a life or death situation, this can save our life, which is good. But in a situation where we don’t get that “fight or flight” response, we often make horrible decisions that greatly cost us.
Emotions, when desire and fear are the opposing elements each tugging at each other simultaneously, blur reality. That much I know. It usually results in the worst endings. That, in and of itself, stops me from playing poker.
More than that, to win, I must be a master at bluffing myself.
Think about it. What makes a good poker player? Someone who can remove themselves from their emotions, and not have any remorse for lying to others to take them for all they got. Whew. What picture does that paint for you?
