I found this statement by Hans Reiser made during his on-going trial quite interesting:
“I am not consistent in my thinking,” the defendant [Hans Reiser] testified.
“That’s the hallmark of lying, isn’t it?” [prosecutor] Hora replied.
“That’s the hallmark of real people,” the defendant [Hans Reiser] responded (source).
I personally think prosecutor Paul Hora said it right on the money. If you want to read my opinion on this case, click here.
My father went to a new dentist that was recommended by two people to get a crown. My family and I have been on a quest to find a good and honest dentist for months and months now. We finally had our hopes up that this time, maybe, we got one!
On the first two visits to the dentist, my dad seem pleased. His tooth was prepared for the crown, and all was going well.
Then yesterday, my dad went to get the new crown cemented in. He was happy to have the procedure behind him. But within the hour after leaving, he called my mom and I who were visiting during his absence. He called to say the dentist has changed his mind, and had decided he wanted to put a gold crown in instead of a porcelain crown because gold would be more durable, if my dad agreed.
Read moreMy mom was immediately on alert that something was fishy, and asked if the price was going to go up. My dad assured her it wouldn’t. The dentist said the price would be the same.
One would assume that my dad would be getting a better deal then, would you? Gold is a premium product.
Well, after my mom hung up, her wheels were spinning. She looked at me, and said something is up! There is some dirty business going on here. He was supposed to get his crown put on today, and now they are changing his order. What’s up with that? This doesn’t make sense.
Did they forget to order his crown?
Are they going to raise the price on him, and not tell him? What is going on??
My mom was visibly annoyed. This dentist wasn’t being honest, and she knew it.
We sat there, and talked about it–wondering what my dad was going to tell us when he came home. We waited for my dad to return quickly since they were changing the order, but he didn’t. Instead, he returned two hours later, so we were really curious!
When my dad walked through the door, and talked, we could tell his mouth was numb by the slurring of his speech. The dentist re-drilled around his tooth again. Obviously, there were issues, but did his dentist tell him this? My mom and I asked.
“No, he just changed the plan,” said my dad. “The dentist told me my bite is hard [which the dentist knew weeks ago], and so he decided I should have a gold crown instead.”
My mom said, “This dentist isn’t being honest, and I don’t know why, but I don’t like him!! I don’t like what he is doing!”
Mom my was going to think it through until it all made sense. You could see her wheels spinning. My dad, however, just wants to trust people, so he was getting visibly annoyed at my mom. He didn’t want to hear the truth. My mom and I are not easy to live with. We often see problems where others see none.
I immediately got on the web, and searched for gold crowns versus porcelain. Guess what I found? Gold crowns, while they are more solid than porcelain, are on average 20% cheaper!!! But this dentist didn’t offer my dad any discounts in the price he was to pay. Hell no. Instead, he told my dad that he changed his mind due to my dad’s hard bite which made no sense after the crown was supposedly already ordered!!
No dentist would change the order after it was supposed to already be delivered because he would be out money to switch the order after the fact, and hence he would transfer that cost to my dad, and he wasn’t. So that was the big red flag.
What my mom and I suspect happened is that this dentist messed up the work he did the first time, and when he sent the impression to the lab for the crown to be made, the lab rejected it.
But instead of telling my dad honestly that they needed to make a few more corrections, he decided to lie to my dad and tell him a made up story. And he made my dad endure more drilling and more pain. The nerve of this guy!!
Had my mom and I been in that chair, tensions would have risen because we would have questioned his inconsistencies on the spot! His version of events, if true, that he simply changed his mind, wouldn’t have required more drilling. We would have stopped him on the spot, and said wait a minute! We probably would have found an egotistical man, and walked out.
A simple statement of “We need to make a few more corrections” wouldn’t likely have alerted anyone to a problem, and he could have saved his reputation. Instead, he got cheap and wanted my dad to foot the bill for his mistake and in the end shot himself in the foot! Not very bright, if you ask me. We certainly aren’t going back to this guy. He just lost an entire family of business!!
Rewind 18 Hours
My husband went to get a haircut. He came home, and after dinner when he turned around, I noticed the shavers had buzzed off a big section of hair in the center of his hairline! You couldn’t miss it.
I said, “Turn around. What happened here?” My husband looked left, and looked right and said “What?? What’s wrong?” very aware that he couldn’t see the offending problem.
My husband ran and got a mirror, and stood before another one, twisting and turning until he saw what I saw.
Clearly, the guy cutting his hair got distracted, or slipped, and took of a lot more hair in the middle of his hairline then on the sides. My husband’s hairline looked like this __^^^__. You couldn’t miss it. While the middle wasn’t gone, it was thinned out more than 50%, and a big visible eye sore.
My poor husband was mortified, but quickly shucked it off as there was nothing he could do. My mom joked on the phone he should tell everyone it is the new French Doo as she laughed. My husband didn’t find it funny at all, and went back to the shop.
The owner is the one who cut his hair, and the owner’s wife was at the desk when he came in. She offered to fix the problem upon review, but my husband knew the fix would be to shave his hair another inch up his neckline. He declined telling her that would look awful. Then she said she’d talk to her husband about a refund. She went to the back, behind closed doors, returned, and said he was on the phone, but they would give my husband a refund. The guy who cut his hair never came out, and acknowledge it, and my husband has been a loyal, returning customer.
I’m sorry, but after you do this to a customer, I can’t imagine too many phone calls that should take a priority. Was this man just giving my husband an excuse so he didn’t have to face him?
If you make a mistake, fess up for Pete’s sake. We are all human, and we all make mistakes, and that’s okay!! Had he apologized to my husband when he did it, my husband might not have been happy, but he would have understood. Or better, he could have come out when my husband was back at the salon complaining, and acknowledged it, and apologized, but he didn’t. That’s just poor business ethics. I have no idea now where this guy will draw the line.
All this beautician had to do was come out, look at the problem and say, “Oh my. That’s awful. I’m terribly sorry.” He didn’t have to go into anymore detail. But instead of doing that, he ignored it, and frankly lost another family of customers!
Both of these professional men in the twenty four hours leave a bitter taste in my mouth, and feelings of distrust. These men were both willing to deny the truth, and skirt around the issue rather than face it which tarnishes their character, if you ask me. While they only made a mistake, which is completely excusable and forgivable, their unwillingness to face the music, and try to properly rectify the situation only complicates matters, and makes their situation even worse.
No one expects an elaborate defense for a simple mistake. Mistakes happen. We all do them. A simply apology goes a long way.
Is it really worth to deny a mistake? I personally don’t think so. I’d much prefer to offer a genuine, heart-felt and sincere apology, and if you can’t accept it, that is no longer my problem anymore, is it? I did the absolute best I could, and I can live with it.
MSN published an article today which tells the story of how one hard working young woman sabotaged her own career by lying on her resume. Her lies didn’t get caught right away, instead they were discovered by accident right before she was about to be offered a nice promotion. Ouch!
I think Joran Van der Sloot really brought to the forefront of our minds that predators live among us. When we go about every day life, its easy to forget this, but after a tragedy like the one that Natalee Holloway endured, and watching Joran Van der Sloot confess with such an iron-heart, and cold spirit, it brings the vulnerabilities up-close and personal.
After Joran’s confession, many people asked me how do we protect the young girls, and women in our society? How do we reduce the chances they will fall victim to someone like Joran?
People were troubled, and without answers on how to protect themselves, and while I am not an expert on this, I do think there are several things we can do to help ourselves reduce our risks.
Read moreWe are all given two great gifts in life, the gifts of intuition and instinct. It is just too few of us harness it’s power. We, as a society, I believe are so disconnected from ourselves today, that we rarely listen to what our intuitions, and instincts say to us.
While I haven’t had the opportunity to read the book yet, I have seen Gavin de Becker talk about his book The Gift of Fear, and I did read an excerpt. I think it is fabulous. Give this book to those you love, and read it yourself. I think that is a great starting point. Encourage people to start listening to their gut instincts, and intuition more. It’s a fabulous tool we all harness within ourselves.
The second thing that I think is important is to pick a news show, or two that you find valuable and trustworthy, and watch it to keep apprised of current events on a local, and national level. This is especially true if you have school-aged children. Set up a time, and watch the news together so you can discuss stories you see with them. While I wouldn’t alert them to any particular story, I would simply answer any questions that raise their curiosity naturally. Let them discover life at their own speed. Simply provide them with information, and guidance as needed.
The reason I believe news is important is because it brings up crimes, and stories which are true, that have happened, and will help your children realize the threats that exist in society. It also keeps you up to date on the newest scams, schemes and criminal activity in your neck of the woods so you don’t fall victim yourself.
Of course, as a parent, it’s our job to inform our children that the risks are remote, and not be to afraid, but that it is important to be cautious, not to trust strangers, go with people you don’t know, or even stay with those you do if they make you feel uncomfortable.
There is something very powerful about watching true stories, and seeing real victims speak about crimes. It has a lasting, powerful effect, and I can say it impacted my childhood positively.
When a man pulled up in a car with fliers about modeling when I was a young teenager, my friend ran right to the car to grab one. I yelled at her to move away, that she didn’t know this man as I had heard of this scam before. I still wonder if my vocal action, alertness and tense body stance scared off a would-be attacker. He knew if he did anything, I’d have his description and license plate in an instant.
Next, one of the biggest sayings of society that I absolutely detest is that saying that says “Respect your elders.” While I am sure it was well intended, it has some devastating consequences. Children are lead to believe that they need to respect all elders no mater what. Those they know, and those they don’t know. This is very scary. Not all elders deserve respect. Period. Clearly, the man passing out fliers from his car didn’t deserve respect, did he?
My mother gave me the freedom as a young child to judge who did, and who did not deserved my respect in my world, and I believe this advice, and her confidence in me, actually saved me from several situations that could have turned devastating. If I didn’t have the confidence to disrespect elders, and stand my ground, I can think of several predators now looking back at my childhood who would have taken advantage of me. But because I was given the gift to think for myself, to judge people with my own instincts, I escaped while others I knew weren’t so lucky.
I can’t say it enough. We need to give our children the freedom to trust their own judgments, and to make their own decisions when they are out in the world without us. If someone makes them feel uncomfortable, they should feel confident that it is okay to sternly, and even rudely say no, and to seek help from others. It’s okay to walk out of somewhere they are supposed to be if they feel unsafe.
And last, we all need to work on accepting that is okay to not always be nice to people. Predators play on the fact we’ve all been raised to be polite to people, and to be gracious when help is offered. Most adults have a hard time saying no to stranger when they are uncomfortable. It’s a difficult thing to do, but one that could ultimately cost someone their life.
We all need to practice saying no, standing up when we feel violated, uncomfortable or threatened. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable. Embrace it as your best warning that you need to act and act now.
