Self-deception is a very common phenomenon in our society. A website called Truth About Deception talks about it here.
Then, the website offers a great test to take! “These perceptual tricks illustrate the idea that we don’t always experience things as they really are.” It’s fun…
Were you deceived?
I see it over and over again: “Honesty is not always the best policy.”
Why do you believe this?
I’d love it if you’d share it with me.
Case Summary:
James and Ali Gilmore had recently split-up, but shortly thereafter Ali found out she was pregnant. The couple tried to reconcile by attending counseling. Ali disappeared the morning they had their second session scheduled. To date, she has never been found.
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Yesterday I discussed the case of Debbie Hawk as profiled by Dateline NBC this past Tuesday. Today, I will discuss the case of Ali Gilmore which was also a part of the same Dateline episode. Ali disappeared a little over a year ago now, pregnant and trying to reconcile her marriage — while living apart from her husband.
Oddly enough the after Ali was last seen, she was supposed to go to a counseling session with her husband, and while she failed to show because she subsequently went missing — so did he. That’s a big red flag.
Also, when I watch James Gilmore speak, I don’t see his emotions fitting the situation.
From the interview:
James Gilmore, estranged husband: I want everybody to know and understand how much I love and miss Ali.
Why is James laughing here? If your spouse, who is pregnant goes missing and isn’t found — and you had nothing to do with it — do you laugh when you talk about it? This is NOT a nervous laugh. It’s a cocky laugh.
The interview continues:
“But James says that despite their troubles, he and Ali were trying to work things out—especially now that they had a baby on the way.” (Dateline NBC)
James Gilmore: I was happy. I mean, I was ready to see what it was going to be and what we were going to name it.
When James says the word “see”, I see a squint of the eyes. Squinting can be a sign of anger. It appears that James is not happy about this baby…
Why isn’t James showing us his smiles now? I don’t see any indication that James is happy here whatsoever. It’s a contradiction to see anger when he is saying he is happy.
“In fact, the couple had just begun marriage counseling. Their second appointment was scheduled for February 3 — the very morning Ali disappeared. Not only did she miss the appointment, so did James.” (Dateline NBC)
James Gilmore: I was just up late that previous night and I just overslept.
I sense a hesitation in his speech here. I get the feeling this is a made up answer.
“James maintains he was at his brother’s home the night Ali vanished, but concedes the timing of the missed appointment has raised questions.” (Dateline NBC)
Sara James: Do you know where Ali is?
James Gilmore: I have no idea where Ali is.
There is an odd gesture here. James shakes his head no, and then by the time he finishes speaking, he is shaking his head yes. It’s just another oddity. When we are certain, our body language is certain too.
Sara James: Would you ever hurt her?
James Gilmore: I’d never hurt my wife. (There is a slight smirk here. Why?)
Sara James: Did you kill Ali?
James Gilmore: I – I can’t even believe you’re even asking me that question. (Why the smile here? It’s so out of character for a husband who has lost his pregnant wife!) Wow. No, I didn’t kill Ali, but I can’t even believe you’re asking me a question like that.
Why is he surprised? This isn’t the first time someone has looked closely at him. I clearly believe that James is acting here…trying to play the part he thinks an innocent man should play. He puts on a sad face and oops, smiles!
He forgot to enter in “real emotions”. We don’t play sad and then accidentally smile -unless we are pulling one over on someone.
Also, why is this man so void of any sadness, sorrow, and/or feelings of loss? I certainly do not feel he is upset about his wife going missing. Instead, I feel he is actually quite pleased (which sounds alarm bells in my head)!
Furthermore, why isn’t he wondering who would do this to his wife? This is a natural reaction for a spouse to have — for anyone to have — when someone goes missing!
Sara James: Why?
James Gilmore: That’s my wife, man. I mean…
James’ reply here is lacking. If someone just accused you of killing your pregnant wife — is this how you would respond? An innocent person would be full of emotions for having the finger pointed at them — for saying they killed a love one — even an estranged loved one. That’s a BIG VIOLATION. Why isn’t he feeling violated? He is not even trying to conceal feelings of being violated here. He isn’t feeling it.
Sara James: People have killed their wives before.
James Gilmore: Anybody who knows me—anybody who’s known me for all of a couple of weeks would know that I am not the kind of person that would render harm to any living soul whatsoever.
Throughout much of this sentence, James is smirking on and off. Why??
I believe James knows more than he is letting on… I think James was not happy about the baby because the baby was causing Ali to put pressure on him to step-it-up. James was used to Ali working hard and pulling the load, and he enjoyed the “easy life”. But he realized a baby was going to change all of that — for a long time to come — and I believe he didn’t want any part of that.
“Officer Newland says James has been totally cooperative, answering questions, even agreeing to a voice-stress test similar to a polygraph. They say a preliminary analysis shows he’s telling the truth.” However, James is still a person of interest in this case.
Case Summary: Dave and Debbie Hawk were divorced, but where in court battling over child care expenses, and Debbie was asking the court for more time with the kids. She also was accusing her husband of stealing money from the children’s trust funds.
After a weekend with the kids, Dave could not reach his wife, but decided to drop the kids off at Debbie’s home anyway — without verifying anyone was there. When the kids ran into the house, they found blood but their mother was gone. She has never been found.
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Earlier this week, Dateline NBC profiled three cases where women have gone missing — and they profiled “persons of interest” for each case.
One of the cases was that of Debbie Hawk. Her husband, Dave Hawk, was interviewed on Dateline. Here is the link to the video of Dave Hawk.
I find Dave Hawk’s demeanor concerning. Here he is with the finger clearly pointed at him, and his reaction is squarely out of place. He should be angry, mad and/or upset about being unjustly accused. But he isn’t. Why?
Instead, we see incredible arrogance here. We see a man who can’t stop smiling. Why is he smiling? It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t add up. It’s a red flag.
Is this man arrogant and smiling because he believes he has committed the perfect crime? It’s a question that has to be asked.
I find it disturbing that Dave Hawk dropped off his children without being sure that Debbie was home. After all, Debbie was supposed to come pick up the kids and she didn’t show up. Isn’t this odd behavior? When an ex-spouse doesn’t pick up the kids — it is not normal to just drop off the kids without first finding out when the other person will return.
Furthermore, Dave hits me as the type of person who is quite anal retentive. An anal retentive person usually wants all their ducks in a row. If Debbie was to pick up the kids, then she better pick up the kids — and if she doesn’t — these types usually attempt to track down the missing individual. They get mad because their “ducks” didn’t line up as expected. Normal people, too, would wonder if something happened to their ex-spouse. They might wonder if she fell or hurt herself– and so hence while they might drive the kids home — they would go in and check to make sure everything is okay. Why didn’t Dave? It’s another odd component to this story.
When you watch Dave answer questions in the interview– at times, he is controlling and manipulating what he is saying and how he is feeling. Why is he doing this? I do see anger in Dave at times when he talks, but he is working really hard to conceal it. It’s the tone or pitch of his voice, and the way he answers the questions that makes me feel that way.
Why is he concealing all of his emotions? He is trying to be super pleasant and oh-so-nice. My eyebrows are raised.
When he talks about the trust funds in his name, and about selling stock — notice how smooth his speech is. He is stating facts about what he can and cannot do as the executor of the trust. Then when he says, “Ah….I can do that” — his speech pattern starts to change. He starts controlling his response. He says, “I…can…do…that…and… as … far … as … the … way … the … Hawks … live … their … lives, … that’s…private.” This question also makes him angry but he is working exceptionally hard to control his emotions and to keep them contained.
Listen for the hesitations in his speech and watch how they come and go — at key times.
Most people’s words flow smoothly and naturally as they recollect their experience. But when…Dave…talks…like…this, we …. know … he … is … making … a … conscious … effort … to … control … his … speech … and/or … his … emotions. Why does Dave feel the need to manipulate and control himself, if he is honest?
Here are excerpts from the interview:
Stafford: Debbie accused you of grabbing her throat. And starting to choke her.
Dave Hawk: That’s what she claims.
Stafford: Did that happen?
Dave Hawk: No. It didn’t happen. (When he says this, he smirks. Why?!).
More of the interview:
Stafford: Where were you when Debbie’s attorney was shot?
Dave Hawk: I was at work.
Furthermore, Dave’s voice pitch is really strange. It’s light and soft, and weak when he says “I was at work”. Have you ever noticed when you don’t tell the truth, sometimes your voice gives out on you? It’s not said convincingly.
Yet notice below how strong and convincing Dave’s voice is here:
Dave Hawk: They need to find somebody and paint him bad and hammer him.
Dave goes on to say shortly thereafter that, that he is the first guy on the list. When he does, he smirks again! It makes no sense for an innocent man to do this.
Dave Hawk: Well, I’m the ex-husband. I’m the first guy on the list.
I also find it odd when Stafford asks Dave if he had anything to do with her disappearance, how Dave stares Stafford down. He is working exceptionally hard to keep his eyes locked on Stafford. He has a blank stare. He is not acting normal here. It’s the way he is locked on Stafford and emotionless. If you accused most people who were innocent and asked them this question — they would show emotion!! Also, the tone/pitch of his voice is not firm, angry or upset. It’s baseline. That’s abnormal. It’s controlled.
The interview goes on:
Dave maintains he has an alibi for the time Debbie disappeared.
Dave Hawk: I was either here with my children, or I was at work.
Stafford: You could have hired someone.
Dave Hawk: Could have hired—oh, like a hit man?
Stafford: Yeah.
Dave Hawk: Yeah. I don’t know any (notice the smirk) I don’t even know where to buy marijuana (smaller smirk, again). I’m pretty vanilla when you start looking at me.
I believe Dave Hawk knows a lot more than he is letting on.
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MORE VIDEO FROM DATELINE:
“Analysis: Little hope that Debbie Hawk is alive May 8: Chris Whitcomb, who studied interrogation at the FBI academy, says he thinks Dave Hawk is telling the truth about not harming his ex-wife.
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UPDATE: Dave Hawk was found guilty of murder on August 28, 2009.
