“Oops! …I Did It Again”

Did you see the news?

I am sad to report, for Britney Spears and her children, that she has filed for divorce stating that her marriage has “irreconcilable differences”.

It was just this past June that Spears, pregnant with her second child, did an interview with Matt Lauer on Dateline NBC to try to dispel the myth that her marriage was in trouble. She wanted you to believe her marriage was awesome, understandably. At that time Spears was in denial, and no one can blame her for being there when she was pregnant. It is part of the human emotional-survival response. I do not judge her for it.

Sadly, however, when Spears did that interview, I could clearly see the denial. Britney was trying to soothe herself. She wanted to believe her marriage would make it, though in her heart, clearly before her, she was struggling with the reality–pushing it away.

Read my June post about Spears interview with Dateline NBC and Matt Lauer here.

I truly wish Britney Spears, and her family all the best in finding true happiness.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t see all the things I see. It’s painful to secretly carry, and face the pains other can’t (in my private life), yet it is relief when they face the truth and move on–because that is a huge positive step. For when we face the truth, it is the first opportunity we have to seek out, and find true happiness.

Ted Haggard Quits

I wrote almost a year ago to the day that I did not trust Ted Haggard, the leader of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs. Did you know the membership at Haggard’s Colorado Springs church totals 14,000 (excluding Haggard’s national following)?

Haggard gave me the heebie-jeebies in his interview with Dan Rather a year ago. Haggard had a plastered fake smile that never left his face. He gave me the feeling he was only out for one thing: the mighty buck.

He set off my warning bells, that’s for sure. I am not surprised by these allegations at all.

Read my post about Ted Haggard last year here.

Thanks to my uncle Dave for pointing the news story out to me as it broke last night! He remembered seeing my post a few months ago about Haggard and the New Life Church.

Delurking call/Open Forum

Okay, all of you visitors who lurk around here — and don’t say hi! Now is your time. Introduce yourself!

I don’t bite, really 🙂

Also, if you have any questions, comments, thoughts or ideas — feel free to share them!

Interesting Article

I read a blog titled Deception Blog from time to time… because as you would guess I am interested in the study of deception detection.

Yesterday this blog posted a link to an interesting article written by Dr. Paul Ekman, who is a world renowned facial expression expert. The article Dr. Ekman wrote was published in Sunday’s edition of the Washington Post.

You may find this article interesting. I certainly did. I think the SPOT program is an excellent idea!

How to Spot a Terrorist on the Fly

When I do not trust…

As someone who sees lies, I’ve stated before I am amazed at how when I meet people, I am positive, open-minded, and trusting.

You’d think otherwise, wouldn’t you? So would I, but I don’t. Even to my amazement.

I always give strangers the benefit of the doubt. And amazingly, I do not walk around the planet grumpy at all the lies I see. I may be sad, at times, because the lies represent an over abundant amount of troubled people, sad people, insecure people and people struggling to cope with the harshness of life, but I am never grumpy, mistrusting or edgy. I truly believe this is because I am confident I will catch a dangerous or impact-me lie when it rears its ugly head before it will seriously hurt me most of the time (Do know I do not believe I am infallible).

However, there is one arena in my life where I do not trust people. That arena is business, and only when I am the customer in the transaction!

When I meet service professionals or salesman, while I am friendly and extend a handshake, and I want to believe they are honest — I have uncovered enough lies in my lifetime to know better.

When money is involved in a transaction, YOUR MONEY, beware.

A-L-W-A-Y-S.

I say NEVER LET YOUR GUARD DOWN. Ever!
(unless it is a relative or relative of a friend — then, well maybe…)

Be warned.

People, by human nature are greedy when it comes to the green stuff. Remember, we all need it — and when you are the customer — the main reason that salesman is working is to get that green stuff: YOUR GREEN STUFF.

When you sell a car, you don’t tell the prospective buyer all the reasons why he shouldn’t buy your car now, do you? Of course not. No one does! We each have to look out for ourselves. That isn’t to say someone won’t be honest if you ask the right questions, but that’s the key, you have to know what to ask, and what to say, and most people don’t.

But there are honest salesman, you say? Yes, there are. I’d say they are less than 10%, less than 1 in 10 — maybe even less than 1 in 20. You have to work to find them.

I have seen so many switcheroos, product fact lies, warranty lies, product misrepresentations, ignorance, b.s., etc., and plain old “sorry ” lies that I could write a book! People get taken more than any of us would ever want to know. To me, it is horrifying! And even with my abilities to see lies, I’ve been lead down that garden path. When it comes to money, these guys are good!

When we don’t know someone, and we aren’t connected to them in anyway, it is much easier for them to over charge, misdiagnose, misguide, misrepresent, etc. I believe it is human nature. Yes, human nature. Even good honest people get callous over time when exposed to the sterility of business. Business is a sterile arena in our lives. We don’t see the pain we’ve caused others by intentionally or unintentionally misleading, misrepresenting, or misguiding them. The process of dishonesty, in this area, sadly doesn’t bring many consequences to reprimand the behavior.

Furthermore, businesses are sure to pass the buck when it comes to blame. We’ve all seen it. “We didn’t know any better,” “The manufacturer didn’t tell us that. Talk to the manufacturer”, and the circle of blame begins!

My solution to this problem: Do your homework–no matter what you are buying. Know the facts, find the details, and be one hard negotiator. Become the expert on everything you buy. You don’t know how many times I have done my homework, and then listened to the salesman and knew instantly that the guy was ignorant, and bullshitting his ahem-off just to make a sale!

When you do your homework, then and only then are you likely to get a fair deal, and even that isn’t a guarantee that something won’t go down after the transaction and before delivery. Even that happens more than you’d want to know. But with a little homework and knowledge, you do scare off a large majority of problems.

Don’t want to put any effort in? You’re a salesman’s best friend!!