Duke University Rape Case

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CBS 60 Minutes on Sunday night ran a story about the Duke University lacrosse team members who have been accused of raping an exotic dancer who was hired for a lacrosse team party.

I have not followed this story nor read about it since the news first broke — so when Ed Bradley of 60 Minutes told the story, I was intrigued — especially since the three accused guys were going to speak out. Furthermore, one of the two exotic dancers, Kim Roberts, was going to speak as well. The victim did not speak. Yes, only one dancer claims to have been raped.

For those who watched the interview, CBS 60 Minutes pretty much dispelled the belief for the average person (who doesn’t see lies) that the three guys who were accused on the lacrosse team actually raped the dancer. They gave the facts that the entire team (outside of one) submitted to DNA tests — and no one was found to be a match — including the three suspects. More than that, one guy had an alibi for the time in question which is verified on video surveillance — and another accused guy says he will give one in court.

When I watched the three accused lacrosse members speak: David Evans, Reade Seligmann, and Collin Finnerty; both David Evans and Reade Seligmann come across as genuine and honest — and everything they said was logical. There are no contradictions. I completely believed what they said. And with Collin Finnerty, while I don’t believe he lied, he was the most stressed and the most worried of all three guys — and says the least on camera. It makes me wonder what perhaps he might know. Maybe he knows something. Then again, he may just be the most nervous facing the news crews. I can only guess.

Furthermore, 60 Minutes reports that the District Attorney said once he got the DNA samples from the team, it would prove who was innocent, and he would drop the case for those cleared. But in fact, the DA hasn’t dropped the case. Instead he is moving forward — without any DNA matches and making a spectacle of himself. Rumor has it he used this case to help win re-election — as he needed the black vote (the dancers I presume are both black). He has even made an outrageous allegation that perhaps the rapists wore condoms — when the victim herself has made a statement that the rapist did not!

But it gets more interesting.

60 Minutes goes on to say that statements the two dancers gave to police, separately, have both been inconsistent and have changed on more than one occasion. What that would lead anyone to believe is the that the two dancers are lying — that the rape didn’t in fact occur, right? However, the two dancers DON’T AGREE about what happened. So who do you believe?

This is where the irony comes in. The dancer who is not the accuser in this case doesn’t agree or “recall” that the other dancer was or could have been raped. She didn’t say this early on — but that is what she says to 60 Minutes on this day. And the odd part — I don’t believe her statements made on CBS 60 Minutes to be 100% accurate, yet I believe the two of the three guys accused are innocent for sure — and the third one likely is too.

Ms. Roberts, one of the two exotic dancers, hits me as someone who is twisting the truth, saying half-truths and in general is being very evasive — and I would like to know why. While I don’t believe her, I am not sure her inconsistencies point to the fact the victim did get raped. Could this point to the fact she is covering something else up? What could she possibly know or want to hide??? I can only guess at this. I just sense something is up with her odd statements.

When Ms. Roberts spoke, I found it strange that I didn’t believe her, immediately, from the first few words out of her mouth — though at times, snippets of what she said I believed were true. It was almost instant and I can’t give a reason. Then as the interview went on, I believe it was a combination of her pouty lip that she curled downward as she spoke, the way she tensed her lips as well as the way her behavior changed during the interview.

At times, Ms. Roberts would speak directly at the camera — confident and sure. Other times, she would look down as she spoke — and her confidence vanished. Her voice changed from solid and steady to weak and meek! Her demeanor completely changed. When you are honest, this doesn’t happen out of the blue like this. It’s a big red flag.

DO KNOW these are not guaranteed signs of a liar — but in this situation combined with the other elements — the behavior was dramatically different within the same context — which made it unusual — and that is why I don’t believe everything she says. You have to ask yourself: Why was Ms. Roberts acting differently all of the sudden, for short bursts of time? Other times, Ms. Roberts smirked — and I found that odd and out of place as well. She smiled and grinned at odd times. These are all red flags that make me not trust her.

Furthermore, Ms. Roberts choice of words was telling. She said, “I just don’t remember that conversation happening ever”. I find the use of the words ‘that conversation’ interesting. So what was the conversation that she remembers?

Ms. Roberts goes on to say, “No, I did not say those words.” I find the use of ‘those words’ interesting. So, what words did Ms. Roberts use? She doesn’t volunteer.

Why the odd choice of words? Normally one would say, “I don’t remember that”, “I didn’t hear that”, “I didn’t say that”. It reminds me of President Bill Clinton, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

When we are honest, we don’t speak that way. I suspect more went on at this party that all of the party-goers are keeping quiet — because if it comes out — none of them will look good. None of them — innocence and all. I think they all agreed to do some things (players and dancers a like that was perhaps illegal for both parties involved– and then things went funny, they didn’t agree about it, etc.). That’s just my two cents. It would explain all their behaviors. We may never know what happened behind closed doors… but I don’t believe these men are guilty of rape.

Steve Irwin Tribute

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Steve Irwin was my one and only hero. He embodied everything I believed in: wildlife, animals, passion, compassion, conservation, family, honesty and integrity. He was an incredible human being…

…the likes of which I have never seen before, and I fear I may never see again in my lifetime. And I am not a person who believes in heros. Even as a child, I was hero-less, never star-struck or whimsical for fictional heros. It wasn’t until Steve came along that I understood what a hero truly was.

Steve rocked my world, revived me — and gave me incredible hope that there are other people out there who do care deeply, who do love passionately (as most people are too afraid to show you)– and can and will fight for what they believe in. Every time I saw Steve Irwin, I got wind underneath my wings.

Sadly, it is few among us who are willing to take our passions to the depths Steve did because to do so is to be brutually honest with yourself, and what you believe in. You have to be able to look into a mirror and accept yourself fully for who you are: the good and the bad — and Steve could do that. He was one balanced individual on top of everything else.

Steve was just incredible. His passions drove him to teach millions of people about wildlife they didn’t care about. His enthusiasm captivated you, embraced you — and took you along on his adventure. His energy and excitement was infectious and contagious. You couldn’t help but become compassionate along with Steve. And I believe the world needs a lot more compassion. It is compassion that is missing in our lives for other human beings and for all the animals with whom we share this planet.

Steve was so honest and real. He exposed his inner most self for the world to see. Steve allowed himself to be vulnerable to others and in his steadfast confidence, proudly, didn’t care what you or I thought — because he knew he was being true to his soul — and to the animals and that is all that ever mattered.

When you are genuine and true to yourself — you will be loved. You will be happy. You will find yourself and your place in this world. I truly believe that and Steve was living testament to it.

I just “got” Steve. I understood him like he was my brother, even if I only have only a tenth of his courage. I would have trusted Steve with my life – hands-down, blindfolded and all. He was and is the most sincere, honest and passionate person I have yet to know. Steve wasn’t afraid to be Steve.

When I hear other people say that “Steve got what he deserved” (death), that he didn’t respect wildlife and abused animals — I feel sad for the people that make these comments because I know they are incapable of understanding and relating to other people at this point in their lives. Furthermore, these people have never truly found their passion in life nor do they have any understanding or sense of self. These people who make these remarks are lost souls struggling to find themselves and are lashing out in pure ignorance. These comments are a tragedy in the face of Steve’s tragedy.

I will mourn the loss of Steve Irwin for as long as I live. He is still my hero today and always will be. Thank you, Steve, for gracing us with your gifts, your talents, your intelligence, your compassion, your passion, and your love. Thank you for not being afraid to be yourself, and for living your life true to your soul!! You have changed the world, mate! You’ve changed me — hands down by confirming everything I believe in — and by letting me know that you can succeed in your passions if you believe, deep down inside and let them guide you.

BE COMPASSIONATE.
BE PASSIONATE.
BELIEVE.
Don’ be shy to LOVE.
BE TRUE to YOURSELF. Always.

Thank you, truly, Steve. Thank you.

I believe, therefore I am…

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This week, a reader asked me my opinion about a media story where two men are claiming to be the father of the same baby. For those of you in the know, this story involves the recent birth of Anna Nicole Smith’s daughter. Ms. Smith is a sensational character as we all know — not someone who usually interests me — but of course, the truth does. So when a reader asked for my opinion, I sought out answers.

But this case is very interesting. Two men theoretically could each believe he is truly the father of this baby. AND IF THEY DO GENUINELY BELIEVE (not just hope or try to convince themselves), then they aren’t lying. Right? Right.

Beliefs can affect the truth.

One can believe something that has no bearing in reality. One can truly believe he is being honest when in fact he has (a) been misinformed, or (b) doesn’t know all the facts, or (c) has, in a deranged way, convinced himself fiction is fact.

If one truly believes what he is saying is the truth, I believe I will see that, and feel it. With that, I could theoretically meet two men who believe they are each the father of the same baby — and I know I would have no clue as to which one was and which one wasn’t the father. I would be in the dark.

This could happen.

But I don’t believe it has happened in this case. One man shows steadfast confidence, gives details that logically support his claims — and he gives reasons why Anna Nicole Smith has run away from him to the Bahamas. Everything is plausible and I do not see any inconsistencies in speech, stated facts taken at face-value (I didn’t go verify them), emotions, behavior, etc.

The other man comes across as very timid, insecure and full of self-doubt, and his reasoning and justifications just don’t add up. Howard Stern says Anna Nicole Smith wants to live a “normal” life in the Bahamas hence that is why she left the U.S., but she does plan on continuing her work in the U.S. A normal life in the Bahamas, commuting long distance? I just don’t see it. And there is more.

Howard Stern doesn’t explain the time lines to us about his involvement, that he had a secret affair, etc. He still could have had a secret affair with Anna. I can’t dispute that. I haven’t seen him answer questions to this point, to know any better. But he doesn’t stand strong in his belief, offer us anything convincing, etc. He doesn’t talk with conviction. Why? It gives me pause.

There are two outcomes that could come out of this situation. Howard Stern may have had a secret affair with Ms. Smith months ago — but isn’t sure he is the father — hence why all of the self-doubt — because he knew Ms. Smith was involved with her then boyfriend Larry Birkhead. Or, Howard Stern is flat out being deceptive perhaps to protect Ms. Smith. I believe his behavior hints that he is being less than honest.

I personally believe we will eventually learn that Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby through DNA testing because the excuses that Howard Stern is giving just don’t add up, and aren’t logical — furthermore, he supports this with his timid, insecure behavior.

Statistically speaking, I’d say the likelihood of Stern being the father is 10% (affairs do happen!), and Birkhead being the father is 90%.

Only time will tell. Either way, Ms. Smith has some explaining to do!

More posted here on Feb 27, 2007.

Medical Deception?

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Updated

Slate ran an interesting article last week about a health stat that you should know about, but probably don’t. EVERY AMERICAN should know about this health stat– but somewhere along the way medical companies made sure it was confusiong enough you didn’t. It doesn’t have to be confusing after all — but it was made to be.

What do you need to know? It’s called N-N-T. “Numbers Needed to Treat”. Just because a drug has a a 31% reduction in say heart attacks, doesn’t mean that 31 people out of a hundred face reduced odds if they took the drug.

That’s what you thought? Didn’t you? I certainly did. Simple math.

Not so quick.

The article says, ” What, after all, does a 31 percent relative reduction in heart attacks mean? In the case of the 1995 study, it meant that taking Pravachol every day for five years reduced the incidence of heart attacks from 7.5 percent to 5.3 percent.”

“Suppose that 100 people with high cholesterol levels took statins. Of them, 93 wouldn’t have had heart attacks anyway. Five people have heart attacks despite taking Pravachol. Only the remaining two out of the original 100 avoided a heart attack by taking the daily pills. In the end, 100 people needed to be treated to avoid two heart attacks during the study period –so, the number of people who must get the treatment for a single person to benefit is 50. This is known as the ‘number needed to treat.'” (Treat Me?The crucial health stat you’ve never heard of.By Darshak SanghaviPosted Tuesday, Sept. 26, 2006)

So, a 31% reduction in heart attacks, means two people out of 100 were spared a heart attack. Did you know that is what this meant?

Next time, when you are taking a prescription drug, ask for the NNT, then look at the side effects.

Don’t miss this article. Read it here.

You decide: Is this practice deceptive? Or do you think it is necessary for 50 people to take a drug for the benefit of one?

True Story: Answer

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If you haven’t read this, STOP and read this FIRST. No need to get the answer if you haven’t read the question/story!

Is your friend telling you the truth or a lie?

Answer: A lie

Two readers questioned this and they were right. I know many people have stopped by, peered and wondered.

This is a true story that was told to a member of my family last week. When the story was relayed to me, it just didn’t sit right. Mind you, I didn’t hear the story being told by the perpetrator (we don’t even know who that is), nor did I see facial expressions or clues that this was a lie. This lie was simply discovered by applying logic. Furthermore, the person who told my family member was a recent widow and the more I thought about it, the madder I got. Being a recent widow is enough. Then to have to hear this story is just too much. Of course, now I wonder who started it and why!!

As I sat contemplating how I’d have to change my lifestyle if two thieves were running around my neighborhood, I kept hearing my family member relay the story to me. In particular, I kept hearing them say, “It takes 10 days to get published in the newspaper.” As I looked out the kitchen window, those words kept playing through my mind like a bad song you can’t purge from your memory.

After I stopped thinking about all the ways this would affect me, the broken record finally got through and I knew this was pure bull dust! We live in the information age. Ten days? No way! Maybe back in the stone age, but as long as I have been alive — the morning headlines have always been up-to-date. I knew this was pure and dirty hogwash.

Another thing that immediately bothered me was the word “robberies”. People weren’t being held up with a gun. These were burglaries. If the cops knew about this — and were perhaps at the association meeting — this would have been stated accurately. And frankly, you don’t call an association meeting and tell people this horrifying news without police support and guidance to (a) help catch the bastards (b) give safety advice to the neighbors/neighborhood. While the words could get mixed up, it was just another flag that I filed in my list of concerns.

Furthermore, I started to question the fact that these guys were black. How do we know these guys are black? Did someone’s security camera get them taped? Did someone see them? If so, then where are the artist renditions or video footage or black and white photos?? Why aren’t there WANTED signs posted around? Furthermore, why weren’t they handed out at this supposed association meeting?

Another signal to me was why would one neighbor know about this from the association meeting and not the other? The likelihood is that both neighbors live in the same association. If this information was going to be told at an association meeting — wouldn’t there have been a flier put out, perhaps? Maybe, maybe not — but if the police were involved — and wanted to catch this guy — you can pretty much be sure they would want to let everyone know — so people could help spot these guys and solve the crime spree. So, likely there would have been a flier — and a flier with faces of these guys on it. It’s not a certainty, but certainly likely. Another red flag.

Also, the details were spooky. Who was dreaming this up? A hat and gloves? They’d only take jewelry, drugs and cash. What, these guys didn’t care about TVs, DVDs, or computers? That’s unusual. People who steal for drugs — want money!! Anything valuable is worth money.

And they didn’t break anything, but took these specific valuables. Twenty four homes had open windows and doors — in a matter of a couple of weeks — that were left unlocked when no one was home. What are the odds??

This story was smelling really rotten to me.

At this point, I got online and browsed the local papers.

Nothing. Zip nadda.

Then I asked my husband to call the local police and ask. I wasn’t buying it — and furthermore I wanted this demon of monsters roaming my neighborhood stopped. We don’t have many black people in our town — and I can’t imagine how a rumor of this proportion would affect them — unfairly!!

On our way home from my relatives house, we saw a black family fishing and my heart sunk. How many people looked at them with fear? Unfairly. Unjustly. How many people treated them rudely out of pure ignorance?? It was vile and wrong.

My husband called. The police said they weren’t aware of any break-ins in the past couple of weeks. When my husband said he had heard there were 24, they said they would absolutely know about them and that there were none reported — rest assured.

Truth exposed.

Thankfully!

Be vigilant. Look over the facts, think about them. Ask yourself are they logical. Question them and then, if possible verify what you can. While your friend may not be knowingly telling a lie — someone is and has passed it on to her — and you have the power to stop it — dead in its tracks.