What would you do?

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Okay, here is one for you.

You go out with a realtor to buy a vacation home. You are out of town. She shows you three homes in a state you are unfamiliar with. You don’t know the market trends, etc.

Two of the three homes she shows you are vacant, but they are perfect and in your price range. You want to make an offer. You are happy and satisfied with all three but have chosen one you like in particular.

Before you make an offer on one of the homes, however, the realtor tells you homes in the area are HOT, HOT, HOT and sell within a day — usually over the asking price.

Do you believe the realtor? Do make a purchase offer?

Do you offer more than the house is worth? If not, why?

To find out WHY I asked, click here.

Eye Brows Raised

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This past weekend, I was watching the Travel Channel’s Vacation Home Search. The show follows a family around as they view three homes and purchase one for their vacation home.

Last weekend, the show featured three homes in Las Vegas. Three average middle-class homes. One of them had dark green, turf-like carpeting. It was horrendous. None of the houses were anything to look at and the average cost was around $300K.

After the realtor showed this New Jersey family the homes, the show’s commenter identified that houses in Las Vegas sell in one day — and often more than the asking price — so this couple had to act quickly if they wanted one of the houses. The show was hinting that the market was hot, hot, hot.

However, what was so odd was that two of the three homes that the couple visited WERE EMPTY. They had no residents, no furniture — and they were older model homes because they showed you the warping siding which was in need of a little repair.

For a house to sit empty, two houses — it takes time — time that these houses should have already sold.

Don’t you think?

If a housing market is that HOT, you don’t see two empty homes without furniture or occupants. You don’t see vacant houses. Period.

Something smelled really fishy!

In the end, the show stated that the couple competed with seven other home purchasers, and finally got the house they wanted after paying $30,000 more than the asking price.

And that is not the strangest part: They bought one of the two houses that no one was living in. They bought an empty home where the owner had long ago moved out. The one that sat vacant for god knows how long…

Is this a new game in real estate, or is there something I am missing???? My alarm bells are ringing. If I were the purchaser, I’d have some some serious investigation work to do before I’d make an offer. This just isn’t logical.

Traits of a Liar

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So many people have conjectured over the years that there are certain traits of a liar. Some say that liars avert their gaze, so whenever people look away, don’t trust them. Others say that liars scratch their face more frequently than those who tell the truth, so beware. The list of traits that people say will help you detect a lie is rather long, and I say these “clues” are hogwash—even dangerous. While most liars give off clues, the clues are not this simple.

Sure, some liars may scratch their heads more frequently, but so may an honest person. If you apply this “rule” across the board, you will, I guarantee, be convicting a lot of honest people, too.

The clues liars give off that they are lying are as diverse as the lies they tell. For every trait you identify a liar doing, I can find an honest person doing, too.

Many times, honest people avert their gaze frequently, scratch their head over and over, won’t give you eye contact, and may even appear nervous! Next time you are telling the truth and you are being grilled because someone doesn’t believe you, tune into your own behavior. What do you do?? You are probably “acting guilty” by do the exact things supposed liars do.

I’ve watched myself over the years, and I am amazed at how guilty I act, and I can’t even stop it whenever I am being questioned, and yet I am telling the dead-honest truth.

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“The traits of a liar are as diverse as the lies they tell.”
-Eyes for Lies
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Let’s face it, even when we are grilled and telling the truth, most of us flinch, because we are not being believed. Not being believed when we know we are telling the truth does a number to our mind, body and soul, and we react: we show behaviors that are often confused with someone who is lying.

In all my watchfulness, I have only found two traits so far that liars do more often than honest people (though honest people do them, too, from time-to-time: salivate for no apparent reason when telling a story that isn’t true—which causes them to swallow frequently in a very short period of time (perhaps nerves?), and speak in a fake high pitched voice when trying to act very scared, afraid or shocked.

Most often, in 9-1-1 recorded phone calls, in which the caller has killed someone or knows that situation they are representing is not true, they will speak in a very high-pitched voice. I don’t even think they are aware they are doing it. This behavioral trait that is seen less often in honest people.

So the next time you are watching someone tell you something, and you think they are lying because they are looking away, they aren’t giving you eye contact, don’t right away assume they are lying. Remember, the traits of a liar are as diverse as the lies they tell, and it takes many elements to identify a liar, not just a few simple behaviors that otherwise honest people can exhibit, too.

*Updated 2-19-2009 for accuracy

Jennifer Hagel Smith

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Case Summary: Jennifer Hagel-Smith and her husband George were on their honeymoon cruising the Mediterranean when George came up missing after the honeymooners had a late night of partying with other cruise members.

Crews found a large blood spatter outside of the balcony of the Smith’s cabin. George Smith’s body was never recovered nor has the mystery been solved about what happened to George. Was it an accident or murder?
* * *

Jennifer Hagel Smith was on Oprah yesterday. Did you get a chance to see her speak?

Jennifer gave me the chills on several occasions. She unnerved me and made me uncomfortable. I do not trust what she is saying to be the truth. I have no doubt about it, Jennifer Hagel Smith, in my personal opinion is withholding information. If you ask me, I’d say she knows more than she is letting on.

What information? Of course, I do not know. I am not a psychic.

Here are parts of the interview and moments that give me big pause and concern:

  1. Jennifer says she doesn’t remember anything about that night. Yet when asked if she remembers her last interaction with George, she says this: ” I do not remember the last…you know…words or time we saw each other. I remember vaguely leaving the casino and going to this revolving bar or something like that. I was around George and then I don’t remember nothing.”

    Does Jennifer have a selective memory? I find her pause weird “last…you know…words…”. I do not believe this answer.

  2. Jennifer’s responses are not what you typically would get from a person in her circumstances. And they don’t seem normal for her, either. When Oprah says, “Your not the grieving bride.” Jennifer says, “From day one this….has been…like shocking. As soon as I heard this news…I spend a day in Turkey…flying home to my family…by myself…on the plane…without George.”

    Does that answer make sense? Not to me. She isn’t grieving. She is feeling sorry for herself, if you want my opinion, not George.

  3. Jennifer was asked if she thought George was murdered. She says, “I think something happened to him. Yes (and she has an odd smirk on her face). George doesn’t run into walls. He’s very athletic.”

    Is that a logical answer? To me it’s not. She should show emotion, an out pouring of concern, affection. She should be questioning things, wanting answers, begging for answers. But she doesn’t. Perhaps she knows them??

  4. Jennifer really enjoyed her conversation with the cruise director. She smiled outright several times talking about all the wrongs done to her by the cruise. She was very focused on herself. But most interesting is what Jennifer says was the most hurtful in all of this. Read for yourself. Jennifer says:

    “For example, I got home and then a week later I’m paying George’s bills now and I get a bill from Royal Caribbean, a week after the cruise ends. Like our room bill.”

    She goes on…”Take care, take the time. We are people.”

    “That has been the most hurtful part through all of this.”

    The most hurtful part was getting the bill? What about George??? More than that, notice she is paying George’s bills. They aren’t hers. This is very odd. It shows separation in her mind, not a unity, a loving-memory of a unity. Most people when faced with a death cling to the unity, the specialness, the bond. You claim what you have left from the other person no matter how silly or trivial it is. Jennifer doesn’t. She divides herself from him — one week after he goes missing. For most people, even the discussion of being separated or having separate things, is too difficult.

  5. When Jennifer was asked if it is true as others are saying that she and George had a fight that night, she replies, “I’m not saying one way or another.” Why didn’t she say that she can’t remember? Why doesn’t she answer the question?
  6. Gayle, Oprah’s friend asks Jennifer once they find blood in the room “Jennifer, you hear that and think what?”

    Jennifer says, “That was it. Your life is over. That’s it.”

    I ask “Whose life is over? Jennifer’s? How does blood in the room mean her life is over? Was she thinking only about herself again? A normal response would have been devastation, concern about foul play, murder, etc. Jennifer didn’t have that. This is a very peculiar answer.

  7. Jennifer tells the cruise executive she is mad that she has to pay for her flight home, that her dad had to wire her money so she could pay for things. Is this what a widow worries about? Didn’t she worry at all about George? Who would care about the money at time like this?? Jennifer cares.
  8. Further she says to the cruise executive, “Just to clear something up…it adds insult to injury every time people say that this is what we gave you. We did this…like someone said…we gave you magazines, we gave you CDs. Who? To me, it was kind of callous when I had heard that. My father was promised I’d be taken off the ship by two security officers…uhm…you know…he was…We were out of our minds and its unfair for people. That was a moment in time for us, that we will, that changed our life forever. So when people judge that moment and what we felt like. Yes, we were abandoned in many ways.”

    Jennifer talks the most logical during her whole interview in the beginning of this paragraph above. In my opinion, she was telling the truth and her words flowed. Most of her interview with Oprah is full of stuttering, hesitations, word-searching except when Jennifer talked about the wrongs against her.

    People word-search, stutter, hesitate when they make up a story. When they are truthful, the story flows quickly, logically and sensibly.

  9. Jennifer wanted an apology from the cruise executive and he finally gives it to her, and she said this isn’t about me, it’s about George. She grins when she says it. It’s eerie!!!! I get the feeling that Jennifer loves being in the limelight.
  10. Jennifer at one point says, “George and I became these sensational, like, blips…like nobody.” This is extremely eerie. Did she want more attention??
  11. Jennifer says, “Everyone wants more from me, I want more from me.”

    Huh? You only want more from yourself when you have more to give. Most wives would be saying they are doing all they can, could and will do to help figure this out — out of respect for their husband. Not Jennifer.

Hopefully, in time, the entire story will come out and we will find out what really happened to George. In my opinion, I believe Jennifer knows more than she is letting on.

* This post is an opinion of the author.

A Million Little Pieces

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So, you’ve already heard it. The big news reports about James Frey, and his hot-selling book “A Million Little Pieces”.

So, are you wondering what the truth is?

Are you wondering what I think the truth is?

I’ll share it with you.

Oprah has made a statement, too, and I’ll tell you what I think about that as well.

Did James Frey embellish his book?? Is his memoir the truth or a lie?

To answer this, I don’t have to do any face reading, paralleling or anything you yourself can’t do. You don’t need any special talents for this task. In this case, all you need are two ears and some logic.

In my opinion, James Frey’s story is loosely based on his life – -but it is by no means a factual account that you could bet your life on. Absolutely not. There is no doubt about it because James Frey verbally admits to “embellishments” himself.

James Frey flat out tells you the book is embellished, and when someone fesses up like he is — believe them! He is admitting to the truth.

But what James Frey is doing is suggesting that parts aren’t true but he doesn’t tell you which one are true and which ones aren’t. He doesn’t want to give that away.

So be it, we know the book isn’t 100% truthful. I think TheSmokingGun.com has discovered some of the embellishments though I haven’t read the book nor done the investigation. I don’t believe however that the TheSmokingGun.com’s investigations are flawed.

What I think happened here and what I believe has been discovered is that publishers edit books, have writers embellish them all the time — and make truths half-truths, etc.

Let’s face it, publishers want to sell books and they want readers to “oooh” and “awww” at them — and real life isn’t going to give you those incredible highs and lows — so things change — get twisted and modified for excitement. Dramas on TV do the same thing — they just put a little bit of text on the screen hinting about such changes. Publisher have had a free license to do it for years without any disclaimers.

What is exposed now is a dirty little secret — from my point of view — about what publishers have been doing for ages –and what writers have agreed to for ages (changing facts)– it is just we the people weren’t aware. I’ve always been suspicious, and this is concrete proof, if you ask me.

The publisher and Frey stand together on this one — and neither is going to point the finger at the other — because both are guilty of creating the embellishements and both are financially invested. If Frey misrepresented himself to the publisher, you can be sure the publisher would stand up against Frey– but they aren’t. Why? Because the two were in on this together. This was a “business” deal, a financial contract with money to be gained.

As for Oprah, while I don’t believe she is defending James Frey — nor is she against him — she is standing firm on the fact if the book helped you in any way — that experience is real — whether or not the story is — and I say good on her for that. She is looking out of the people who need help and are reaching for answers. I don’t think Oprah cares about James Frey or the publisher. She is fighting for the people — which is admirable. Oprah will in due time speak about the publishing world. I have no doubt about that.

But the bigger picture remains — and a new topic is opened for discussion as Oprah put it — and we need to get to the heart of the matter and demand more from publishers. Either something is factual or it isn’t — and a disclaimer should be present if the truth is modified, twisted, or half-told. Publishers and writers need to be held more accountable!!

That’s my two cents. Nothing magical here. No lie detecting talents needed — just plain logic here.

What do you think?