Spying Eyes

Yesterday, my husband and I were at the register at Burlington Coat Factory. As my husband stood there to pay for the goods, I looked around the store. It was packed with people — more people than I had seen in a month! Children were screaming, one cashier was dressed as Santa — and others as green elves. It was somewhat chaotic. I just stood there silently absorbing it in.

Behind us in line stood a young family of three with another male friend in tow. I noticed them because they were so young. They had a young daughter under the age of one dressed in a dirty, dingy pink coat with white snow flakes. The child’s coat had obviously seen its day. I would guess the young couple to be between the age of 17 to 20 years old. Along with them was another guy. He looked a lot like Prince with dark features and a thin, chiseled face. He looked like he could use a really good fattening dinner to give him some softness and warmth. I wanted to feed him!

A few old ladies in the line next to us cooed and awed over their baby. Oddly, the young couple didn’t say much. They seemed a little distracted. I thought nothing of it. I continued to peer around and watch people.

As I glanced back at the family behind us, I watched the young mother pick up her baby from their mostly empty cart, and shuffle herself around the two guys. All of them were busy looking around too. Then unconnected, I saw the young mother move over towards my husband. She looked directly down at his credit information which he was entering in on the keypad.

At first I thought nothing of it. Nothing registered as I was so absorbed with the people around me. I wasn’t thinking. Then as I blankly watched them, I saw the guy swoon over and start looking!!

My husband stood there patiently waiting to finish the transaction unaware of the vultures at his back.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up. I remembered my husband standing there in line with his credit card in the tip of fingers just moments before barely clasping the card’s edges. He was holding his credit card in a very dangerous position waiting to scan it — with the numbers clearly visible for all those in the back of the line to see.

Had they remembered his numbers? Were they looking again to verify them? Why did they keep looking? What the hell was going on??

I started to look to see if I could see a cell phone – wondering if they snapped a photo of the numbers. I didn’t catch a glimpse of one. However, when I started intently watching them — they started to look away from me. This concerned me.

I didn’t know what to do.

What do you do? I couldn’t fairly accuse them of anything! My mind was going a million miles an hour. This is a crime that is hard to call when it is in the making!

What if they are innocent? Were they? My gut told me they weren’t so innocent so I continued to watch them. I made my concern of them very clear — and yet they acted totally clueless!

As the cashier pulled the receipt out of machine for my husband to sign, I reached in from behind — grabbed it abruptly — and I said firmly, “You are going to sign this over here!” as I put it down to the far end of the register where the family couldn’t see it. The cashier looked surprised. People noticed my odd behavior. These was almost a hush in the air of surprise.

The family, however, all turned around away from us – and starred off into the distance. They tried to act oblivious to what I just did yet they had been very aware of our transaction moments before!!

((((bells are sounding in my head))))

Normal responses from them would have been odd looks, inquisitive behavior like the others around us — but they didn’t act normal. I am pretty sure they sensed I sensed what they were up to but it didn’t ruffle them at all. What could I do to them? They had my valuable information in their brains which is something I could never, ever prove until the damage is done. Perhaps each person had remembered a sequence of numbers. Very clever.

At this point, my husband’s intuition was telling him something was up. He finished the transaction and without a word we high-tailed it out of there. Once we got far enough away from them, I told my husband what I saw.

His face drained a little. He had never even thought about it and he realized how he had made himself vulnerable.

As we walked out the door, I flipped open my cell phone. I took the credit card out, called the number — and canceled the account!

What was even more chilling to me was the fact that the guy at the credit agency told me of the last few charges we made — including the one just made minutes before. If I had not called when I did, we may have come home a few hours later to a debt of ten thousand dollars or more!

Lordy, those eyes were up to some nasty lies! I have little doubt.

Whew. Close-call.

Technology for Liars

Last night on ABC’s 20/20, they identified a new tool for liars called alibi clubs. These clubs allow you to text message a huge group of strangers where people volunteer to lie on your behalf. If you ask them, they’ll even call your girlfriend and pretend to be your soccer coach, co-worker, etc. to allow you the excuse to get away for whatever your heart desires without any ramifications.

Yes, you read that right. Want to read more?

I found this unbelievable! What does it say about people in the world today? These networks operate in Europe, Asia and the Americas.

I think it says that as a society we’ve completely lost touch with ourselves because when we lie to others, we truly don’t know who we are anymore. We have no limits or boundaries and hence that means we lack self-respect.

How depressing…

Seeing the Truth for what it is…

…is difficult if you are emotionally involved in a situation. Even if you have an extra-good radar for the truth, as I do, if you add emotions, the lie-dar gets fuzzy, making the truth harder and more challenging to decipher.

As long as you remain emotional, you’re likely heading down a dangerous path if you have to act or make decisions!

I believe that as humans, we have two conscious brains for thought: our emotional brain and our logical brain. I also believe that it is critical to be able to differentiate between our emotional brain and our logical brain. It’s quite easy to do, but you must be disciplined with yourself in order to do it.

When we endure a painful situation, our emotional mind starts playing tricks with our head. It keeps “replaying” over and over again the good memories of things we’ve lost, as if we can have them back: “if only…” Or it makes a difficult situation seem outright desperate. Our emotional mind makes us feel like we’ve been stuck into a dark abyss that has absolutely no way out (or only one out: the wrong one!). Our emotional mind torments us, cripples us and keeps us in a limbo situation. It doesn’t ever give us peace or resolve.

We can be having a good day (trying to get back on our feet) when WHAM!” our emotional mind decides it is time for us to remember something “oh, so sweet” that is now gone (your children in divorce, a failed relationship, a loved one, etc). Our emotional mind is the one that moves us to tears in difficult situations and makes us torn about what to do! It is deceptive, and represents a trickery to our sanity. It paints things rosier-than-rosy and blacker-than-black. Our emotional mind is very dramatic.

Your logical mind, however, does not trick you. It is honest and straight to the point. However, like the devil and the angel, the angel doesn’t always prevail unless you force it to. You have to consciously work at being logical and at denying your emotional mind the liberty to sabotage you.

Your emotions will never be up to any good in difficult situations. This is when they will not be trustworthy—only your logic will be…

When you start to feel overwhelmed with either happy past memories of what was, or you get overburdened with all that you don’t have now, you have to stop your mind from creating all those vivid thoughts of lost times. You have to stop it dead in its tracks and say to yourself, “That’s the pastthis is now. Where can I go from here? Today is the first day of the rest of my life.”

Then you have to force yourself to see the truth. Was it really that rosy (or is it that dark)? What it really that good (or bad)? Weren’t there problems that caused things to get to this point (There always are!!)?

What were those problems?

The problems you think about are your truth. They will be logical occurrences that happened to bring you where you are today. Write down the problems that popped up before things got to that stage of emotional torment. Own them, claim them, and then each time your brain plays tricks on you and you start to get emotional, pull them out, read them, and remember them. Then continue to take steps to move forward.

By doing this, you will logically deprive your emotions, and your brain will slowly clear. You will start to think rationally. With that, logically you will see problems for what they are, and you will see the truth about how to resolve your situation. It may take a few days, but if you are vigilant, the truth will come so long as you stay in your logical mind and deny your emotions by pushing them out of your head. You can succeed and find your truth!

When I am really having a difficult time deciphering the truth, I ask myself:

Is this fear?

Or is this what I really believe to be the truth?

If I am facing something fearful, I realize that I am dealing with my emotions, so I dig deeper. I dig until I know I see the truth and I know I have no fear. You will know the truth—you will feel it. You will feel confident and strong. Lies makes us feel weak, and vulnerable, and afraid. Emotions can deceive us, make us feel weak and incapable. Just remember that.

Guilty, yes but death?

Scott Peterson has been sentenced to death by the 6 woman, 6 man jury just hours ago.

While I am convinced that Scott Peterson did kill Laci and her unborn child as he lied frequently on multiple occasions and didn’t respond like an innocent man, we as a society must remember that we never did find any conclusive proof. Furthermore, on average 1 in 10 people who have been put to death in this country have later been proven to be innocent.

How is it that we as a society which calls itself “civilized” can support an “eye-for-an-eye” punishment? How can we find it acceptable to kill someone on a belief without any conclusive proof such as DNA? How can we accept a system flaw rate of 10%? How can we accept that it is okay to kill 100 innocent people out of every thousand where only 900 are actually guilty?

I believe that our capital punishment system is as barbaric as the days public lynching and stonings. What has changed since then outside of the fact we no longer do it in public?

Even worse to me is the fact that Scott Peterson didn’t even get a jury of his peers. In our court system today, if you do not believe in capital punishment — you are not allowed to serve in a capital punishment case. Can you believe this? It’s true and called Death Qualification (USA Today article). A true jury of your peers would have a system that truly reflects societies beliefs. We do not have that.

The U.S. is the only first-world country to continue to implement the death sentence. Why is this? Is it because we are protected from the horrors that occur in the actual killing process? Putting someone to death is very brutal physcial process. I won’t even begin to discuss the details because they are that horrific.

Furthermore, don’t we as a society have compassion for Scott’s family? My heart is so sad for his mom and dad. They are the ones who are getting the death sentence. How does killing Scott Peterson help Laci’s family?

While I understand that what Scott did was horrific and wrong, how can we justify sentencing him to the same “crime” he committed? I just don’t understand it.

I studied the death penalty in college when I was studying pre-law and political science. I had a great, fabulous teacher who made us each research the topic and present an oral report to the class. During the semester while we researched our papers and prepared for our oral report, our professor showed us video footage of actual people being executed in a varity of ways (no, I didn’t watch — I couldn’t stomach it). She showed us videos which made real cases personal to us. We got to know the murders, the families, the victims and we became involved in the situation. We saw real documentaries. We saw what families on both sides went through. Our professor showed us cases where innocent people were killed. She showed us video of the men who execute criminals. She showed us video tape of those who still do it — and those who had to quit.

When the class started out, more than a majority of people were for the death penalty. I stood on the lonely side of the classroom with perhaps two or three people out of 30 students strongly opposed to it.

On the final day of the class, after we each gave our reports, not one student continued to maintain a position of support for capital punishment. I have never seen such a huge sway in opinions before. Thirty plus students now were all against the death penalty. It was a true testament to the horror and brutality of what we do as a society. We all saw the horrors of that in the videos and no one could handle the brutality of it. We all saw how wrong it was. It was undenialbe. If only every citizen who served on a capital punishment case would have to watch what we did, would have to be educated to the details of the process, the realities of what we are really doing — to all involved.

Today, I am sad for the Laci’s family. I am sad for Scott’s family. I am sad for Laci and her unborn child. I am sad, too, for Scott Peterson. While he may be seriously ill, sick or even demented, I don’t believe in killing a man who killed. It just isn’t justice. It’s revenge that will only continue to hurt more people…

This truth I could not bear…

Last night, I watched Tom Brokaw and Aron Ralston recount a horrible ordeal that happened to Aron back in 2003. You may have heard of this story as it made world news.

Essentially what happened is Aron made a fatal mistake. He went out hiking in the backcountry of Utah without telling a single living soul where he was going or when he’d be back. With that, when he got into life-threatening trouble, he knew the odds of getting rescued were slim to none.

While canyoneering, a boulder dislodged as he was trying to climb over it and as it fell, it pinned his hand against the narrow canyon. Aron was unable to free his hand no matter how hard he tried. He chiseled away at the boulder to no avail, and tried to dislodge it again but it simply didn’t work.

After days and days of struggling to get free and running out of food and water, he realized he was going to die alone in this canyon. His hope to get rescued was barely a thought. He was very up front with himself and faced the facts that he probably wouldn’t survive. He bravely faced his inevitable death.

I was amazed at Aron’s candidness and honesty with himself. He was brutally honest with himself during the entire ordeal. The Discovery Channel aired actual taped footage of Aron as he thought he was going to die because he couldn’t come up with a way to free himself. While he had thought about amputating his own arm, his knife wasn’t sharp enough to break the bones.

Watching actual footage of Aron, I forced myself to look inside. Could I be that honest with myself?

I sat there and doubted I could be. I think I may have found my honesty limit. I am honest, super honest — very up front and open about reality in life with everyone I know — including myself– but if I were faced with this situation, I don’t think I could have looked the truth in the eye. I think I would have turned away in denial. I wouldn’t have been able to cope.

Aron finally had the realization in the final hours that he could either break his own arm bones and hack off his arm with a little dull knife — or he could wait for death. He decided to snap his own arm bones — and then hack away the muscles, skin and nerves until he was free and able to start the long journey back to his truck.

Can you imagine??

The guy amazed me. He was so candid about his mortality and his options to survive. I don’t believe most people have this spirit. Maybe it is the spirit that keeps him climbing like he does. That spirit is not typical. Aron was able to face everything for what it was… down to the rotting, decaying flesh that was once his hand. I was in awe.

Somehow while I am honest and able to deal with most everything in life — death is not one of them. I don’t think I will be able to face death with as much grace as Aron did. He is truly a unique character who has shown me my limits…