When someone lies to us, they are a liar, and we naturally assume they lie to everyone for the most part, right?

It makes sense, doesn’t it?

Not so fast. I have an interesting story to tell you.

My mom and I have struggled to find a dentist for years because we keep getting lied to. After years of struggle, my mom and dad finally found a dentist who truly treated them fair. He didn’t push treatments on them, treated them fairly when they had pain resolving it appropriately, and did the essential care for a reasonable price. Having some knowledge of the dental field because I used to work as an assistant, I thought we finally found our dentist. I truly believe he gave my parents quality care.

When I went a year later, my experience was dramatically different. This dentist filled multiple cavities, and did a sloppy job–nothing like he did for my parents. He also tried to tell me that I had a cavity in my front tooth, and something told me he was full of it. I decided to go for a second opinion and sure enough, the next dentist I tried showed me that I did not have a cavity. What in fact this dentist who said I did have one was doing was pointing to a genetic flaw in my tooth– a hole–which occurred on the same tooth on the other side of mouth, too. There absolutely was no cavity. She showed me how it was just the design of my teeth. I had other problems with this dentist to, so I started seeing this new doctor who shared the truth with me. This new dentist is approximately 10 years my senior.

Fast forward another year, after our experiences with my parents old dentist, my parents decided to try my dentist. I trusted her. Can you guess what happened? She told lie after lie to my parents in attempt to get them to do expensive procedures! I was flabbergasted at what she was telling them. For anyone who knew anything about the dental field, it didn’t take a second to see that she was truly hungry and being deceptive.

My mom and I got into a few arguments about “our dentists”, and I finally said that we can both find someone we trust to care for us, but it doesn’t mean they will give that same care and honest treatment to someone else. It was kind of a shocking revelation, though it makes sense in an odd way.

In hindsight, the dentist my mom found was older. He was within 10 years of her age. This dentist likely saw her as a peer and felt a need to meet a certain standard of care with my parents. When I showed up, I was just a “young kid” to him. I was within a few years in age of his children. He didn’t have the respect or care he did for my parents so lying to me was much easier. Then when I found my dentist, she was more my peer and my parents were “old people” to her–easy to influence because they were “old” in her eyes. She forgot I was knowledgeable about dental procedures. Oops.

People affect us in different ways. We react to people differently. We may trust one person and have a bad feeling towards another. It all affects how we interact with people. We may be generous and giving with one person and turn our back on another. It’s reality. So next time you are convinced someone is honest, don’t always be confident just because they are honest and treat you fair, they will treat others fair too. Biases affect all aspects of our lives.

And its clear, some people will take advantage of those they feel superior to. It’s a little uncomfortable to think about, isn’t it?