Q & A
Every now and then I open up the blog for questions. If you have a question about me or deception you’d like to ask — this is your forum! I will reply to questions in the comment area over the next several days!
Every now and then I open up the blog for questions. If you have a question about me or deception you’d like to ask — this is your forum! I will reply to questions in the comment area over the next several days!
Of all the questions that arise when I doing training, the one I least expected was, “Since you understand deception so well, are you the perfect liar?”
I remember the first time it was asked, I was blown away.
In real life, people trust me and tell me I have an honest face, so this was a bit alarming! Why would anyone think that of me, I thought. But when I thought about it more, I could see the point of the question.
It makes sense, doesn’t it?
But there is good news! The answer is no, I am not the perfect liar nor could I be, even knowing what I know about deception and human behavior.
And the reason is simple. Clues leak to deception for two reasons: First because we are under a higher cognitive load when we tell a lie–we have to balance the truth from a lie) which causes clues to leak naturally. And second, because we want to succeed with our lie, we naturally put pressure on ourselves to succeed and that pressure increases our cognitive load emotionally, which also causes clues to leak.
The more pressure on a person to get away with a lie, the higher likelihood they will leak clues. And in high stake scenarios, we naturally put pressure on ourselves with our desire to be successful and hence we slip up.
So while I know what the clues to deception are, if I try to make sure cognitively that I don’t display any of them, what am I doing to my cognitive load?
I’m sending it through the moon, aren’t I? So what are the chances I would leak clues? The chances are greatly elevated.
Just imagine my thought process trying to tell a lie…blah, blah, blah…don’t forget you can’t stare someone dead in the face, don’t move your shoulder or your lip…what was I saying, oh yeah…blah, blah, blah…did I just move my shoulder? Bahhh!!! What was I saying? Oh yeah, blah, blah…wait…don’t skip pronouns, confuse verb tense — uh…stutter, stutter…. at this point, my lie would blaring for all the world to see LOL!
So while I may understand deception on a detailed level, it doesn’t mean I would be the perfect liar.
And furthermore that is why I am comfortable openly teaching my material to people because if I teach my material to someone sinister, its very unlikely for even more reasons than I am discussing here that he or she will be able to become a better liar either. Actually, the converse is true. If they focus on all the clues I teach, it will only cause them to leak even more clues, which is candy for me!
Update: For those who are curious what makes a good liar, this article is for you.
Here is a hilarious letter supposedly sent home from an 8-year old boy at summer camp (click link, scroll down to photos).
I honestly don’t buy this was written by an child, but it is humorous nonetheless, and thought you’d enjoy a good laugh!
Why don’t I believe this?
Most kids wouldn’t want to admit they had “diyareeya”. They would be too embarrassed.
I also cannot imagine kids being allowed to eat that many push-pops — due to the cost alone — let alone health conscious parents screaming back that this is rotting their kids teeth out!
And most kids wouldn’t want to use a stranger’s tooth brush. They scream cooties!
Plus, a rifle? Seriously? In today’s day and age–at a camp with kids? I don’t see it.
But I have to say this woman does find the funny spots. For that, I give her kudos!
Did you catch Dateline NBC this week? They profiled the story of Fred and Leslie Mueller. Leslie Mueller, according to Fred, slipped and fell to her death into a mountain stream. 48 Hours ran the same story in a one-hour show earlier in the year and now we got to see more with Dateline.
I absolutely do not find one element that supports Fred is being truthful. I don’t believe a word he says, in fact. I didn’t when I watched 48 Hours and now after seeing the two-hour Dateline episode, nothing has changed. I’m only more confident.
But I have to say I was stunned by the jury–most notably the second jury. They said that they didn’t believe Fred was telling the truth, and did in fact, believe he WAS lying. They got that right, but after that, their logic escaped me.
They said that lying doesn’t equate to murder. Then why would Fred lie? Can anyone answer that? Give me a plausible reason. Please.
Leslie’s injuries did not support a fall onto a granite slab so we know that didn’t happen, and Fred’s lie involved that aspect of the story. The falling element of Fred’s story was told to make people believe that is why Leslie died. Since we have evidence that Leslie didn’t fall onto granite as Fred said, and she died–then why else would Fred lie, but to cover murder?
I was also taken aback by the juror who said that the jury was perplexed that Leslie didn’t have any defensive wounds. There was clearly a struggle when Fred’s glasses got knocked off (and he didn’t even remember to pick them up–which shows a struggle that Fred never acknowledged and which is extremely hot and supportive of another lie). But would there be defensive wounds when Leslie was wearing winter clothing and gloves? Her body was covered and protected and so likely was Fred’s.
So if they were grabbing each others clothes, you would not see any defensive injuries, if one is padded, right? And then, it is likely that Leslie ran for her life and tried to get away from Fred, and Fred caught her. It appears that he caught up with her, in or at the water, and pushed her under. In this situation, it would make absolute sense there are no defensive wounds.
And I am not sure there aren’t any defensive wounds. I don’t buy Fred’s story that his face was scratched by bushes. His attempt to describe what happened was littered with clues to his deception here, too. I believe the scratches on Fred’s face were the marks of Leslie struggling to get away from Fred. That was all she could do–was scratch his face.
If you look at the last photos taken of Leslie, in photo number 6, the expression that Leslie makes gives me the following feelings: Its like Fred was saying, “Backup, Leslie…it will be a better picture….come on, you can go close to the edge…chicken!!!” and it appears she is thinking, “Come on, Fred, knock it off. Are you happy now? Can we just get this over with?”
I think he did that to Leslie multiple times and it appears she tried to please him to a degree and hoped he’d get over his weirdness. You can see it in her face. When it didn’t work, he had her pose with the dog hoping the “damn dog” would spook. For all we know, he tried to spook the dog after that, and that cause the situation to escalate between them because clearly Fred did not like “her dog”. The way he talked of the dog was of dislike and disdain. And it was then Fred’s glasses got knocked off and crushed in a struggle.
I hope Fred Mueller is tried again.
Police have sealed off a search area this week nearby the resort where Madeleine McCann disappeared seven years ago in May. Police will be using radar equipment to look for anomalies in the ground.
I have always believed the McCanns are innocent (click on the tags below to read my thoughts over the years).
What do you think?
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