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Don’t become the next Travis Alexander….What you need to know!

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Cherry red foul play
Photo by fd on Flickr–click for more info on the photographer.

If you are a guy and you are watching Jodi Arias on the stand, there is a good chance you’ve shuddered and thought, could this have been me?  Could I have fallen for Jodi and could I have been her next victim? 

Most people would agree that Jodi Arias is not a threatening person, or a person that would evoked fear in people prior to her trial–especially to men who are bigger and stronger than she is.  As you can now see in hindsight–how wrong your thinking would be!

So how do you then protect yourself from falling victim like Travis did to a woman who appears so meek as Jodi did?  Were there warning signs?

Absolutely.  If you were my brother, or son, (or daughter or sister) I’d tell you this…

Psychopathic people tend to cross personal boundaries very quickly.  They will fall “in love” almost overnight. They will commit themselves to a person very quickly.  They will profess love for another way sooner than the average person and they will shower their object of affection with an abnormal amount of attention very quickly.  They will tell you that you are the one long before most other people would do so naturally. Take heed!

Another warming sign is that the harness the power of their sexuality.  Psychopaths have a lot less fear than the average person and are not shy about sex or their bodies, and find great joy in using their sexuality as a tool.   You won’t know it as first, but if they are sexually very open and willing to do things most other wouldn’t, show no inhibitions and are willing to get sexual faster than most people — bells should go off. It’s a red flag. Sure they will tell you that you are different and special, and they don’t normally do this, but be careful. It’s another trait of a psychopath.

Once they get you in bed, one thing is for sure–they will fulfill your every fantasy–not because they want you, but because they want you to be vulnerable and wanting more.  Sex is a desire they play on to manipulate and control a person, and they will continue to meet your fantasies in an effort to gain more and more control.  They lure you with visions and fantasies and experience of sex from your wildest dreams!  Remember, they have no inhibitions!  For a woman psychopath, this is easy to do as men are vulnerable in this arena and they know it.  I’ve seen it time and time again.

I don’t doubt that Travis was transfixed on Jodi for this reason and he had a hard time pulling away–even when he saw her diabolical side because it was very hard to walk away from his fantasies (who would ever do this again?), and you can bet Jodi knew this and used it as one of her most powerful tools. When someone starts using sex to get things or to control you — that is dangerous territory.

I have no doubt that Jodi used her sexuality as the ultimate tool against Travis, and he had no idea until he was in way too deep.  Granted, these manipulators start small.  They may start out offering sexual gratification in return for something small such as a gift they want, or a dinner out, or getting their way. That’s your first clue to BOLT!  But they will continue to escalate it for more and more control.

And when they feel they are losing control, they will amp up your sexual fantasies and pleasure to keep you coming back.  Don’t ever convince yourself this is just a physical relationship.  I think that is what Travis did, and that belief is what ultimately lead to his demise.

The more control Jodi got over Travis using sex, the more she wanted to manipulate him, and the more she believed she could manipulate him. For her it was never about the sex–it was all about the control and when she felt she lost control, and she did all this sexual pleasing of Travis for not–she let it out in a fit of rage on him –making him pay the ultimate price for what she believed was the ultimate betrayal.  She gave and he did not.  That ended it.

While people think lying is harmless, it actually says a lot about a person’s character.  I can assure you Travis was well aware of how Jodi lied and it may have been something he disliked as time when on.  When someone tells you who they are– that they are willing to lie to others for their own gain — take it as a clue that no one is important to a person like this — not even you, even if you are the center of their universe and they confess their dirty lies to you.  Take it as a huge beacon in the night to run and take cover!  Quickly.

In the end, Jodi used Travis’ fantasies to lure him to his death. She lured him into the shower on the turn-on of taking provocative photos.  Then she got him to turn around and show her his back and that is when she inflicted the ultimate betrayal on Travis as she started stabbing him as he stood defenseless, and naked in the shower. 

Elaine Redwine and Dr. Phil

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Having watched several interviews of Elaine and Mark Redwine, and seeing the Dr. Phil show yesterday, there is one person who is inconsistent in the interviews, and its not Mark. It’s Elaine Redwine.

Her inconsistencies seriously raise my eyebrows and leave me with wanting to ask her more than a handful of questions.

I do not trust Elaine Redwine. She has made it very clear in her interviews she will talk out of both sides of her mouth and that disturbs me when we are looking for her missing son. She also says things that I cannot reconcile no matter how I slice it, so I’d be interested to get clarification from her.

Many people assume when I don’t trust someone that it means I believe they are guilty of a crime.  That is an incorrect assumption.  A person can be inconsistent and uninvolved, or inconsistent and knowledgeable of more facts than they are letting on, or inconsistent and involved. I am not psychic and do not claim to know what inconsistencies ultimately reveal.

I cannot speculate at why Elaine is acting the way she is, I just know I want more information from her.  Why is she inconsistent?  It may have everything or nothing to do with Dylan’s disappearance.  I need more to say.

In Wyoming…now playing catch-up!

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Photo by Eyes for Lies

I was out in Wyoming last week training and I’m back now.  I have lots to catch up on personally and professionally.  Please bear with me. If it weren’t for a Winter Storm warning today, I would be posting an opinion, but I need to get food first!

Do know that I plan to write about the following this week:

— Jodi Arias on the stand talking about killing Travis
— Dylan Redwine’s parents
— Ryan Ferguson and Charles Erickson:  Is Charles finally telling the truth?

Stay tuned!!

Remember Kiesha Abrahams?

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Kiesha Abrahams was the little six-year old Australian girl who supposedly disappeared in the middle of the night in 2010.  When her mother plead for her return that summer, I couldn’t help but see the holes in her behavior. You can read my original thoughts on this case here.

The case is finally going to trial against Kiesha’s stepdad Robert Smith. An Australian reader sent me a link to an article that updates the story (thank you!).  Apparently, Kiesha’s mom hit her so hard, she knocked her daughter out, and then both parents left the injured child alone until she died.

The story is heart-breaking but for those who are interested, here is more information. I warn you it is disturbing.

Many people commented at the time that little Kiesha did not look happy in her photos, and you can clearly see a “fake smile” in the photo of her above.

So tragic.

Next time you see a child who fake smiles like this consistently, see if you can get them to open up. You might be able to save a child’s life.

Oscar Pistorius Full Court Statement

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HERE ARE MY THOUGHTS ON OSCAR PISTORIUS
By Statement of Oscar Leonard Carl Pistorius

I fail to understand how I could be charged with murder, let alone premeditated murder, as I had no intention to kill my girlfriend, Reeva Steenkamp.

However, I will put factors before the Honourable Court to show that it is in the interests of justice to permit my release on bail.

I state that the State will not be able to present any objective facts that I committed a planned or premeditated murder. For this reason I will hereunder deal with the events which occurred that evening. The objective facts will not refute my version as it is the truth.

–Who talks about the truth as “my version”?

I have never been convicted of any criminal offences either in the Republic of South Africa or elsewhere. There are no outstanding cases, other than the present, being investigated against me by the South African Police Services.

I am advised that I do not have to deal with the merits of the case for purposes of the bail application. However, I believe that it is appropriate to deal with the merits in this application, particularly in view of the State’s contention that I planned to murder Reeva. Nothing can be further from the truth and I have no doubt that it is not possible for the State to present objective facts to substantiate such an allegation, as there is no substance in the allegation. I do not know on what different facts the allegation of a premeditated murder could be premised and I respectfully request the State to furnish me with such alleged facts in order to allow me to refute such allegations.

On the 13th of February 2013 Reeva would have gone out with her friends and I with my friends. Reeva then called me and asked that we rather spend the evening at home. I agreed and we were content to have a quiet dinner together at home. By about 10 p.m. we were in our bedroom. She was doing her yoga exercises and I was in bed watching television. My prosthetic legs were off. We were deeply in love and I could not be happier. I know she felt the same way. She had given me a present for Valentine’s Day but asked me only to open it the next day.

After Reeva finished her yoga exercises she got into bed and we both fell asleep.

I am acutely aware of violent crime being committed by intruders entering homes with a view to commit crime, including violent crime. I have received death threats before. I have also been a victim of violence and of burglaries before. For that reason I kept my firearm, a 9 mm Parabellum, underneath my bed when I went to bed at night.

During the early morning hours of 14 February 2013, I woke up, went onto the balcony to bring the fan in and closed the sliding doors, the blinds and the curtains. I heard a noise in the bathroom and realized that someone was in the bathroom.

— If one is that afraid of crime, would they sleep with the sliding doors open?  Why didn’t he immediately check on Reeva and not realize it was her in the bathroom?  Was this man showing signs of paranoia prior to this event?

I felt a sense of terror rushing over me. There are no burglar bars across the bathroom window and I knew that contractors who worked at my house had left the ladders outside. Although I did not have my prosthetic legs on I have mobility on my stumps.

–If you notice here he says he has mobility on his stumps, yet later he says he doesn’t.  Inconsistent.

I believed that someone had entered my house. I was too scared to switch a light on.

I grabbed my 9mm pistol from underneath my bed. On my way to the bathroom I screamed words to the effect for him/them to get out of my house and for Reeva to phone the police. (Doesn’t recall actual words?) It was pitch dark in the bedroom and I thought Reeva was in bed.

I noticed that the bathroom window was open. I realized that the intruder/s was/were in the toilet because the toilet door was closed and I did not see anyone in the bathroom. I heard movement inside the toilet. The toilet is inside the bathroom and has a separate door.

It filled me with horror and fear of an intruder or intruders being inside the toilet. I thought he or they must have entered through the unprotected window. (If he is so afraid why is a window unprotected?) As I did not have my prosthetic legs on and felt extremely vulnerable, I knew I had to protect Reeva and myself. I believed that when the intruder/s came out of the toilet we would be in grave danger. I felt trapped as my bedroom door was locked and I have limited mobility on my stumps.

I fired shots at the toilet door and shouted to Reeva to phone the police. She did not respond and I moved backwards out of the bathroom, keeping my eyes on the bathroom entrance. Everything was pitch dark in the bedroom and I was still too scared to switch on a light (does this even make sense?). Reeva was not responding.

When I reached the bed, I realized that Reeva was not in bed. That is when it dawned on me that it could have been Reeva who was in the toilet. I returned to the bathroom calling her name. I tried to open the toilet door but it was locked. I rushed back into the bedroom and opened the sliding door exiting onto the balcony and screamed for help. (Does this make sense where he lives?)

I put on my prosthetic legs (why did he wait so long to do this?), ran back to the bathroom and tried to kick the toilet door open. I think I must then have turned on the lights. I went back into the bedroom and grabbed my cricket bat to bash open the toilet door. A panel or panels broke off and I found the key on the floor and unlocked and opened the door. Reeva was slumped over but alive.

I battled to get her out of the toilet and pulled her into the bathroom. I phoned Johan Stander who was involved in the administration of the estate and asked him to phone the ambulance.  (Why didn’t HE call an ambulance??)  I phoned Netcare and asked for help. I went downstairs to open the front door.

–Why isn’t he tending to her right away instead of going downstairs to open the front door?

I returned to the bathroom and picked Reeva up as I had been told not to wait for the paramedics, but to take her to hospital. I carried her downstairs in order to take her to the hospital. On my way down Stander arrived. A doctor who lives in the complex also arrived. Downstairs, I tried to render the assistance to Reeva that I could, but she died in my arms.

I am absolutely mortified by the events and the devastating loss of my beloved Reeva. With the benefit of hindsight I believe that Reeva went to the toilet when I went out on the balcony to bring the fan in. I cannot bear to think of the suffering I have caused her and her family, knowing how much she was loved. I also know that the events of that tragic night were as I have described them and that in due course I have no doubt the police and expert investigators will bear this out.