I want to thank everyone for your wonderful encouragement and support during my medical dilemma.
I’m exhausted after a long day, but I wanted to give a quick update. I met with the University of Chicago specialist/surgeon today, and he was everything I had hoped for! He actually sat and chatted with me and my husband for two full hours in a tiny conference room much like what is picture above.
When he sat down, he said, “Do you want surgery?”
I said, “No, not if I don’t need it.”
He said, “Are you afraid you have cancer?”
I said, “No, not now [because of all my reading], but I’m worried about the potential due to my family history.”
He said if you had cancer by the size of your tumors, you’d be dead!”. We laughed. That seemed logical.
He continued, “I see no reason why you would need surgery at this point unless your symptoms are bothering you. I am here to explain all of your options, so you understand them. It is not my place to decide what is right for you. That is your decision.”
And in those two hours he answered every question and concern I had, and taught me all he could. He offered me options and told me that delaying any surgery was probably my best bet because if we intervened now, with no medically necessary reason, I stood a good chance at having the tumors regrow and re-offend me again, so he saw no point in rushing things at this point. He thinks its better I wait until I feel I have no other option because the time delay could prevent me from other surgeries. And he saw no reason to radical alter my body at all, unless it was the option I wanted!
He explained that I have a 75% probability that I will get uncomfortable due to the tumors and will want intervention, but I also have a 25% chance things will stay as they are and never bother me further. Plus as time goes by, different options may develop because in the last 5 years advanced have been sizable.
My blood pressure was 159/84 when I got there, and I know it was a lot higher most of the week. I was so stressed out and now I feel like the stress of world fell off of me. My normal blood pressure is 100/70 and it should be returning, if it hasn’t already! I can think clearly again!!!
I may not be out of the woods yet, but I am certainly not where the last doctor wanted me to believe I was– at cancer’s door knocking. She was flat reckless and irresponsible.
I share this with all of you in hopes that it will give you the courage, the strength and the fortitude to question people you meet in life. Just because someone is an expert, it doesn’t mean they know best. A good expert will always educate you first and then guide you and let you make the ultimate decision about what is right for you! That’s always the sign of a top-notch expert in their field.
I’m happy, healthy and feel so blessed to have met this doctor today!
Thanks again for all of your support!!! And thanks to Mr. Eyes, he is simply the best.
P.S. He also told me that my radiological tests were so poorly done, they were of no use to him! They were junk!!! That was a surprise!! Not.
https://www.eyesforlies.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/black-logo-smaller.jpg00Eyes for Lieshttps://www.eyesforlies.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/black-logo-smaller.jpgEyes for Lies2012-03-13 19:43:002012-03-13 19:43:00Update
I recently went to the doctor for a checkup and explained some of my concerns to my doctor. I have been having some issues over the past few years, and do keep a regular check on my health because my grandmother likely had something similar. She died at the age of 51. We know she had cancer, but we just don’t know which one. We just know the region of origin.
My doctor came highly recommended to me by a handful of medical doctors I have seen over the years. She is intelligent, smart, witty and seems very knowledgeable. She is also given decent reviews by patients, so I felt like I was in good hands.
I’ve been unfortunately cursed with some benign tumors and they continue to grow slowly (which is not abnormal for the tumor type) so I keep getting them looked at to make sure they don’t turn into cancer. The risk is very, very remote– but I also need to watch to make sure nothing else develops, either.
During my last visit, my doctor suddenly said we should remove them and a whole lot more! She got me really scared by her words. Her exact words were that they were growing too fast, and she was “concerned….very concerned.” Naturally, we had talked about my grandmother and her cancer again — so it was clear she was telling me she was concerned about cancer. And her recommended? Radical surgery immediately.
I walked out of the office stunned. I didn’t see that coming at all. It even took me a few minutes to understand what she was saying because she didn’t come right out and say it until I laid it on the table–“Is this what you are saying?” She confirmed.
I was blind-sided and scared and freaked out. It didn’t help that after I left her office, I went out into the middle of a snowstorm, where the roads were slick and my nervous hands struggled to keep my car on the road.
And the power died as soon as I got home for 4 hours so I couldn’t do any research to understand more about what was going on.
At first, in my emotional fear, I believed her. Emotions are our biggest cloud to seeing the truth there is–for all human beings–and I am no exception.
As I calmed down over the evening, and I started thinking, by morning I could verbalize the holes in her approach. She was telling me she was very concerned because my tumors had grown, and fast growing tumors could be cancer, but if I wanted a second opinion (which I told her I did), she told me to see this conservative doctor who would probably make a different recommendation all together because of his beliefs.
I realized if she truly believed I was on the cancer track as she so scared me, would she believe another doctor would take a different approach? A doctor who believed in Western medicine like herself? That didn’t make sense to me because I wasn’t arguing with her, disagreeing or asking for any form of alternative treatments. It would be one thing if I wanted to see an Eastern medicine specialist, but I wasn’t.
She also never said to me, “I’m very concerned this could be cancer.” She never outright said it. She stopped short. She connected things by reference, but never actually said it. This bothered me. She never gave me statistical probabilities, either. That bothered me.
I have read up on vast amounts of literature the past few weeks and found she left out a lot of information/options/procedures/risk factors, and if I simply trusted what she told me, I would have been woefully mislead. Her end diagnosis may be where I end up, but she didn’t take the prudent steps to ensure it was the right decision.
I’ve found out by ordering my medical records from her office that my tumors have not grown fast at all. They’ve actually slowed in their growth rate!! The day I left her office in a panic, I asked her how many tumors I had now, because she said I had more than the last time. She told me, “More than 5 — they stopped counting!” My records show ONLY 3, with a possible forth. And one could be 2, but there was no mention of five definitely, or that they stopped counting. This was another blatant lie!
I also discovered in her medical record of my visit that there was no mention of cancer whatsoever, or any concerns. What she did was write down her notes as if I came in complaining and wanted a “solution”–and so she offered me options. I couldn’t believe it. Why do I still get surprised? What she did was write down my concerns, but she took great liberty in grossly misrepresented them –making them much worse than what I said they were, which gives her the justification for recommending the surgery. So what we discussed and what she actually wrote down were two entirely different conversations.
Also, during my exam, as we chatted, she asked me what I was up to lately and I told her about my training for law enforcement. Guess what she wrote on her report? That I worked for the FBI. I never said that and you all know I do not work as a employee of the FBI. Another inaccurate piece of information. Her medical records hit me as “cover-your-ass” paperwork because it had nothing about our real visit in it!
In her report, she wrote about how she offered me all these different treatment options–for which she offered only 2 — and lied about one of the two. She told me of two surgeries that were available, and only guided me towards one saying the other could not be done completely (where tumors would remain)–which is an outright lie!! It could be done completely and curatively but differently than she told me. It would take a specialist surgeon to do it, however, and it wouldn’t be her! I don’t believe she had the skill. She also wrote that she advised me of all the risks — which she advised me of none!
I can see if I took her to court (which I have no intention), I’d like look the nut job by her records.
It was a very stressful and disappointing experience to say the least.
I went ahead and scheduled a consultation with a top-notch surgeon and expert in the area of my concern tomorrow at the University of Chicago.
I’m really nervous and scared because I don’t know where it is all going to go, but I need good and trustworthy answers. This doctor has been given award after award and is highly regarded nationally, but this time, I’m well read, educated and ready to ask him 1000 questions, if need be. No one is going to mislead me when it comes to my health! I know all the potentials where this could go and I’m ready to get trustworthy answers. I want to know which option is best for me, and WHY.
If I don’t post for a few days, please understand why. I’m going through a lot right now.
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When I watched Anderson talk about his 5th cousin once removed, as soon as they showed them, I looked to see who looked like Anderson. The woman in the middle clearly did, and even though that wasn’t anything concrete because the distance of their relationship, it was a consideration. The middle woman had fair skin and a similarly shaped face to Anderson. She also had his demeanor.
Anderson continued, “Each [woman is] wearing a t-shirt that says I’m Anderson’s cousin.”
I immediately honed into the middle woman again because her behavior made sense. She struggled to keep eye contact and while that is not the clue (lack of eye contact), it made sense and here is why:
Imagine that you are the cousin and Anderson has to guess who you are. The last thing you want to do on national TV is blow your cover and make it easy on Andersen, right? I mean if you did that, you’d feel like a totally fool! So, with that, what are you going to do? You are not going to be like “Pick me! Pick me! Like woman number one. Heck no! You are going to be more reserved and less obvious because the last thing you want to do is ruin the game on national TV.
I would also expect Anderson’s cousin to be nervous because of what I just stated above. Number 2 certainly fits that as well.
When Anderson asks, “How long have your ancestors been in the U.S.?” woman number one thinks first. She says, “Hmmm….” That was a red flag for me. When she says 1884, she squints her eyes almost in a critical gesture of “Are you buying it?”. That doesn’t fit.
Number two says, “Early 1600s.” She says it in a very controlled manner. She also swings her leg that shows she’s nervous and nervous here makes sense. Because if it is her, she has the most to lose if she blows her cover!
Number three is neutral to me. She could go either way at this point, though I am leaning toward the middle one.
When Anderson asks, “Do any of your ancestors come from the south?” the first woman blows it big time on multiple fronts. She says, “Yes, funny you should ask….uh, North Carolina.” The “funny you should ask” stands out as odd to me, but when she hesitates with “uh” and then says North Carolina in the tone of a question–its a dead give away she’s lying.
Number two is playing it coy again. She simply says, “Yes they do.” That make sense and is another point for her. Number three is still into play as well, but my gut says no at this point.
Remember this is not a high-stake scenario so it is much more difficult to call, without question. There is no pressure on the two liars in all reality.
Anderson called it correct when he said, “It makes me believe the open one is lying.” For the reasons I stated above, this is true!
When Anderson talks about going prematurely gray, the first one is clearly thinking on her feet as she answers about big blue eyes. When number two answers, she is calm as a cucumber this time. She’s gained her footing! Her answer flows and feels sincere to me.
As they keep talking about which one it is–look who is breathing the hardest–its number two!! And who would be the most nervous–Anderson’s cousin.
The woman with the most points –whose behavior and words match who she is supposed to be — is number two!
I hope you enjoy this fun exercise 🙂 Thanks, Anderson!
https://www.eyesforlies.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/black-logo-smaller.jpg00Eyes for Lieshttps://www.eyesforlies.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/black-logo-smaller.jpgEyes for Lies2012-03-01 12:19:002012-03-01 12:19:00Who is Anderson’s Cousin? The Clues
Tanya Perdomo’s husband, Jerry, went missing while on a trip to supposedly help a friend in Maine move, says his wife. When Tanya talks about where her husband went and what he went to do–she strangely doesn’t know. I’m not buying it. She is withholding information, if you want my opinion.
She is very evasive and emotionally flat.
Tanya is very uncomfortable and seems to be thinking as she speaks. She also isn’t showing stress or concern or worry about her husband, which I find odd in this interview.
I question if she and her husband were into illegal activities–hence why she is vague and doesn’t want to talk about things. You wouldn’t go to a press conference and say my husband was doing something illegal, blah, blah, blah. You’d be vague and evasive, just as she is.
Fact checking for this post, I just saw that police have arrested a suspect for Jerry’s murder, though no body has been found. Police believe drugs were involved and that Jerry has been killed. Read more here:
I suspect that Tanya knew what Jerry was up to and where he was going. She may not have known he had an affair and may not have wanted many details, but she knew the purpose of his trip, if you ask me.
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